Destination wedding (help)

Please forgive typing errors typing with rereading errors

You need to do what's best for you two in regards to the day not what others want. You want a destination wedding then do it. Some won't make it and may not like it but they're not paying for your day.

If you’re not kicking off when people decline, you’re fine. Not everyone wants to spend their vacation time attending a wedding in a country they’d otherwise not be interested in visiting, and so long as you recognise that, which it sounds like you do, I think you’re fine. My SIL had a destination wedding and we made the most of it, but I wouldn’t spend my hard earned money and vacation time on a wedding for anyone other than immediate family or a very close friend. Look at it this way though - a smaller wedding will save you some money!

Destination weddings can be tough, but also fantastic. Send out the invitations and the info to your guests, but be understanding if some people aren't able to attend. Everyone's financial situation is different, some may not be able to find someone to watch the kids while they attend a destination wedding, getting time off work may be an issue for others, etc. You definitely deserve to have your wedding in the location you choose, and if you choose a destination wedding, that's awesome! What you can't really do is force people to spend the money to attend if they aren't willing to. I think the lower guest count comes with the idea of a destination wedding. Definitely be understanding if some of your guests reach out to say they can't make it, but don't let anyone pressure you into doing what they want you to do for your wedding. It is your wedding day, plan the event that you want!

Totally agree- it’s about you 2.

I’d like to first say that we are having a destination wedding, so in no way am I against them. But to answer your question, yes destination weddings are more of an inconvenience to your guests. It requires a large financial commitment in the form of travel, hotel, food and entertainment expenses. If they have children, they will either have to pay for all their expenses as well (not to mention the inconvenience of traveling with children), Or else arrange for someone to watch them while they are gone & have to be away from them that whole time. Since you have chosen a destination outside the country, the costs & inconvenience is even greater (more expensive airfare, likely a longer trip, the necessity of getting a passport, etc.). Destination weddings are fun, but it places a greater financial burden on your guests. That is why it is expected of you to host those that do attend at a much higher level (ie, welcome bags, welcome dinner, open bar all night for the reception, higher level gifts, etc.) in order to thank them for making the trip and to absorb some of those costs. That is also why you should not expect gifts from your guests- the financial commitment they made to attend your wedding & their presence is considered their gift. The decline rate will likely be much higher for a destination wedding than if you were to have one locally (and even higher yet if it is out of the country). That is why a lot of people who have destination weddings choose to have a local reception after their wedding- so they can celebrate with everyone who could not attend the wedding abroad. Another thing to consider is when you are getting married. With the pandemic, there are a lot of travel restrictions that may come into play.

View Quoted Comment Thank each of you!!! We are very understanding we don’t want anyone to feel forced. I think the hardest part is the negative comments on what we chose to do. I thought it would be more of a positive thing. For example: oh we’re happy for you but unfortunately we won’t be able to make it. Versus why would you all chose a place were it would be expensive for guest to come. We respect opinions but just wanted people to respect our decision.

View Quoted Comment Their responses may not be meant to be disrespectful or rude (although, I can see how it can definitely come off that way!). Their comments may just be their way of expressing their disappointment that they cannot celebrate your big day with you. Would you be able to have a local reception after you return? that way those who have to decline will still feel as though they are included and can celebrate with you.

If you want to get married there, get married there.

But destination weddings *are* inconvenient - it's often kind of the point, to keep the guest list down - because you never know what other people may have going on in their lives.

Maybe they work a job where time off is not paid, or iffy, or at a premium. Maybe they just had a lot of medical issues, or big expenses you can't see (had to replace the windows in their house, or a car accident), maybe your wedding is in a place they can't afford, or have never wanted to go (I can't be in the sun a whole lot, I turn fire engine red, so we try to go places where I can be OUT of the sun a lot).

It's fine to be upset that people can't make it, because you'll miss them, but ... that is the cost of a destination wedding.

They're definitely more of an inconvenience, BUT that doesn't mention people won't come. Personally I'd travel for anyone I'm really close with but for everyone else I would pass

We’re having a US based destination wedding and to those that made the comment about the cost, I simply replied with the honest truth - we were only planning to have immediate family and after much consideration we opened it up to love ones. Our immediate family are essentially millionaires and the location has everything in a one-stop shop kind of way, so you wouldn’t have to leave if you opted to stay longer. The hotels adjacent are considerably less expensive. We completely understand if you can’t make it and hold no hard feelings.


It was the truth! My only words of advice are - if there are those that you know probably won’t be able to afford it, watch out for their “yes” rsvp and anticipate a last minute “no” - I had 3 of those at 5 days before the wedding. I had 6 late cancellations; 3 Covid related, and 3 “just don’t have the $$$.” When you’re spending $200 per person for you’re grand event, that extra $1200 goes a long way with the “little things”

View Quoted Comment Because when it comes to life events people feel the need to say what they think and have an opinion on where it is and how it is. I am sorry. I get they want to be there but it's what you want. Maybe live stream or for those that can't make it.

I thought the same thing because people will make you second guess yourself. We started planning and sending information out in 2/18 for our 10/9/20 wedding. We invited close to 40 family and close friends. We are literally sitting in the airport enroute to Jamaica for our destination wedding and will have a total of 8 people. Im sitting here relaxed and excited. It was a long road to get here especially with COVID throwing a wrench in logistics. But, I wouldn't have it any other way.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t think that way we chose a destination wedding for us it’s what I always wanted. A local reception actually is a good ideal. I’ll look into that thank you!

View Quoted Comment Awww thank you it does have you second guessing your decision. I hope you all have a blast. Congratulations and have a ball.

View Quoted Comment Thank you I do certainly understand this. I think I’m more disappointed in their responses vs them not being able to make it. The negative comments concerning where it’s being held. We weren’t trying to be an inconvenience to anyone just wanted to have my dream wedding. After reading each of your comments I understand even more. I’m just going to let it role off I wouldn’t dare want anyone to think we would be upset. Just want more positive feedback.

View Quoted Comment Thank you I appreciate each of your comments I’ll definitely have to learn to let those comments role. We are completely understanding we just want people to respect our choice. I’m sure it will work out it definitely got overwhelming. I’m much better now each of you helped with your words thank you!

I am having a destination wedding next year as well and they can be a little hard on guess. A lot of the other comments mention why already. In my mind your only responsibility is to give your guess a decent amount of time to pay on their rooms. Maybe this was selfish of me, but to ensure our immediate family could come we checked with them to see if it was affordable. When they all agreed, in my mind everyone else was either going to get on board or miss out. Since we did want to be conscious of how much money the guess have to spend we sent out STD a year and a half early. More than enough time to make arrangements financially. It is your day and it belongs to you and your FH. I honestly wouldn't care what anyone else thought. Do what makes the both of you happy

Reading the comments and seeing about the negative comments from guests, ill say 9 times out 10 someone in some wedding is going to complain about something. We had our ceremony in Vegas and Reception in the city that my now husband live in (we live in Indiana and his family lives in Chicago, 30 MIN drive max). His family complained about both locations, but still showed. I did have a guest complain about everything they did not like because it was not her cup of tea. I found it a little rude, but I realized at the end of they day, some people come because they want to have a good time.

Your main people will definitely go. Anyone extra is great but I wouldn't be surprised if not. Some people don't care to travel they just like the idea of a trip at a resort and will do it. Just delay tol 2022 if you can. It's very stressful right now