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Devoted August 2022

Destination wedding # of invites

Bride2Be, on November 15, 2020 at 9:18 AM Posted in Planning 0 6
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We are planning a destination wedding in the states on Mackinac Island, Michigan for summer 2022. My fiancé and I live in Texas and most of my family is in Texas and his family is in Michigan. No passport needed to travel! Our venue can hold 120 max and I’m wondering how many people we should actually invite? I know not everyone will want to travel but we want to ask in case they would! We will send out save the dates about a year in advance but the problem is he has about 100 on his family/friends list and I have about 150 on mine. We have huge families but not close to all of them. I kinda made a list of people I know and would be happy to have there and he did the same. We were thinking of doing an A/B list so that we could still invite more people we care about if people on A list couldn’t go. I’m just at a crossroads trying to figure out if we JUST invite the 120 allowed and go from there, or do we invite more than that? Because it’s still an in the states wedding, I feel like people will still go but it is technically a destination wedding because of all the travel involved. We plan on doing activities a few days before/after so that whoever does go can still make a nice vacation out of it. Would love any advice!!

6 Comments

Latest activity by Bride2Be, on November 15, 2020 at 11:40 AM
  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michele ·
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    Please do not do A/B lists. People do find out and get upset they aren't "good enough" to make the original cut. They won't tell you it's rude though.


    Couples get one invite together. Families get one invite together. Single guests 18+ get their own, even if still living at home.
    As for your guest count, is 120 the Covid capacity set by the state or the "normal circumstances" capacity. There is a difference. To determine how many you can invite and fit in the venue, you need to include yourselves and your vendors in the count. Hypothesizing you have 10 vendors including photographer, catering staff, coordinator, dj, etc, in addition to you and your fiance, you could invite 108 people max. 120-10-2=108. Always work under the idea that you will have 100% attendance.


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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    So should we cut out the B list entirely then? And only invite from the A and if people can’t come just have less people? I guess we were trying to get as close to the max as possible so we can include those who want to go but it’s hard to know how many people will actually say yes! Should we over-invite? I guess that’s where I was trying to get at. I don’t want to over invite and then have too many people say yes and then we’d be in trouble! Idk what to do from the get go
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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    Don’t invite more than your venue fits. We were planning on a destination wedding in the states too, and people we thought wouldn’t come had told us they would. You never know what people are thinking until you get RSVPs back.


    I also agree that A/B lists don’t work.
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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    So did you only invite your max number? And leave it at that? How many actually came if you don’t mind me asking?
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  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michele ·
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    Do not over-invite. While Covid is in effect and people will stay home, a number of people will also make make every effort to attend. You can get a feel for who will make the effort by asking them before you settle on your list. Decide who you absolutely want in attendance, without obligations toward keeping others happy.


    There have been posts where the couple over invited and they couldn't fit. If people decline, you stick with a smaller guest list. Eliminate the B list entirely. Send out save the dates 10 months before the wedding when you have a finalized guest list so guests can prepare. Those who can attend will do so and those who can't will send well wishes. You still send out invites at the standard 8 weeks, which eliminates the last minute "made the second list so not as important" group from hurt feelings.
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  • B
    Devoted August 2022
    Bride2Be ·
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    Ok that makes a lot of sense. It’s weird how I can read about this so many times and then it just clicks! That definitely sounds less stressful along the way too. And money saved if not everyone goes! Thanks for responding to all my posts! I really do appreciate it!
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