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Kristen
Beginner October 2020

Destination Wedding

Kristen, on November 9, 2020 at 3:02 PM Posted in Honeymoon 0 9
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Hi all! I'm looking for some advice/guidance. A childhood friend of mine is having a destination wedding in Jamaica in 2021 and has already expressed to me how badly she wants me there. Now, I know I have a bit of time to budget for this but my question is, what is expected of guests gift wise? It will likely cost quite a bit of money for my husband and I to attend given it is an international flight and it will be at a nice, all-inclusive resort. I usually am fairly generous with my wedding gifts to my close friends but I am a little worried it is really going to stretch my budget past what I can comfortably afford if I were to pay for this trip and also give a generous gift. Am I better off declining the invite and just sending a monetary gift? Is it rude and tacky to only show up with a small monetary gift?

Some background - I just got married in October, we are planning our own honeymoon for 2021 due to covid, and are also looking to buy our first home within the next year. So money is a bit tighter for us than usual.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Shell'a, on November 17, 2020 at 2:53 PM
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    When you Google this topic, every article says that yes, you are supposed to give a gift. However, it says the gift can be significantly smaller than what you would have normally given had it not been a destination wedding. I am actually planning a destination wedding myself (within the United States though, not international), and I am viewing our guests’ presence as their present. I do not expect them to provide a physical or monetary gift. As a matter of fact, I plan to gift them welcome presents to thank them for spending their time and money in order to join us on our special day.
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  • Kristen
    Beginner October 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you!! That's kind of what I figured, but wanted to get some outside perspective/advice. I'll just have to be extra cautious with my spending habits in this next year!

    Also best of luck with your wedding!!

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  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michele ·
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    Give what you can comfortably afford and realize that a gift is always optional. It is never rude, contrary to popular belief, to not give a gift if you cannot afford one. You also have 12 months from the wedding day per etiquette to give a gift if you choose to do so.


    Do you want to attend? That should be your main question. The value/pricetag of the gift is unrelated to your attendance.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Honestly, for a DW I think a nice card is fine. For our DW, we asked for no gifts because we understood the costs associated with travel (and we researched several accommodation options at different price points for guests).


    It’s also ok to decline. That’s the risk of a DW, it passes costs to guests. I’ve attended several and declined several due to cost.
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    I recommend you just give her a gift that costs you about $50 or cash/gift card in that amount
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  • Jei
    Dedicated June 2021
    Jei ·
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    I completely agree. My destination wedding is in Jamaica as well next June. Do to the cost of the flights, passport, and the all inclusive resort we informed our guess of our plans two years in advance. Since life and finances are different for everyone we are not expecting guess to further spend by getting us a gift. Its an absolutely nice gesture, but something smaller or a nice card is more than enough. If you can't make it, that's perfectly fine as well, but no bride of groom wants their wedding to cause their guess stress. Do what's best for you financially
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  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    I don't expect a gift from those traveling, especially during this covid era. Your presence is more than enough. Don't get hung up on online articles
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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    I dont think its rude at all. It could maybe come off tacky, giving like $20 or $50. However the gifts arent what matters. What matters is showing love, and good energy towards the couple. Im sure they'd love to see you there with no gift rather than a large $ gift and not be there.

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  • Shell'a
    Dedicated May 2022
    Shell'a ·
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    Very very nice point. I will maybe do that for a few of my guest. We live in Texas, just moved here and this is where our wedding will be. All of our guest will be coming from home, Wisconsin and Illinois.

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