Did she lie?

I would say address it if it’s bothering you. But in a nice way. Maybe you can say something along the lines, like ‘hey, I saw you all had a family outing is everyone feeling better’ and kinda go from there.

View Quoted Comment I sent her a message like 👀. She saw it and didn’t respond. I’m just a little nervous because I don’t want it to be my wedding day and this happens again. Would you address it?

View Quoted Comment I would because I know how I am. Maybe ask if she has a min to talk and you can bring it up and let her know how you feel. I think sometimes when we don’t address situations we make
assumptions and the situation could have been resolved by having a conversation.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I’m going to not assume anything because it could be an old post but 🤷🏽‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Exactly! But definitely ask. I hope it all works out though.

I don’t think I would address it. just because people are outside doesn’t mean they aren’t sick. You also don’t know if this is an old photo that she just got around to posting. I don’t think there is a nice way to address this without coming off as accusational, and without making your friend feel as though you find her untrustworthy. In the end, does it really matter what she was doing that day? An invitation is not a summons, and no one owes you any explanation as to why they decided not to attend.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree that it’s not a summons. However, she stated she was in the house sick as to say I’m staying in the house because I’m sick. I know my friend pretty well and it just seems odd. However, if I do address it I know how to address it that will be in a way we can both get some understanding.

View Quoted Comment But again, does it even matter? She let you know she would not be there that day, and really that’s all she owes you. If she lied about the reasoning behind it, it is because she did not feel comfortable enough telling you the truth. So I don’t think calling her out on it is going to do anything positive for the friendship. You asked for opinions, and that’s mine 🤷🏼‍♀️ But of course it is your friendship and you can deal with it however you wish

View Quoted Comment Yes, it does matter to me. Yes, I did ask for opinions but that still doesn’t make it okay. So I just don’t address the issue and hope that the awkwardness of it goes away and I be the uncomfortable one. That’s not happening.

View Quoted Comment Again, just my personal opinion that you asked for. But, I am a pretty laid-back person and I don’t require explanations for why my friends decide not to attend events. So it sounds like we are coming from different points of view. Good luck with your friend, I hope it all works out.

I’d let it go if it were me. You just never know, there are endless explanations. Has she showed up for you in everything else throughout your friendship? And is everything worth being concerned about?

Just an observation, you sound really angry, although I know tone is hard to read online. I agree with Cece, she doesn't owe you a detailed explanation of why she couldn't make the event. Why make it awkward ?

View Quoted Comment Oh you’re completely mistaken about my tone. I’m not angry at all. How did you come to that observation? However, it’s already awkward since I saw her on social media. Funny thing is she did provide an explanation of why she could come. She said she was sick but I think you may have missed that while reading my post.

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OK well I mean why make it MORE awkward. It's really only difficult because of the way you're reacting. None of us has any idea if she lied or not and a few of us are saying it doesn't matter. She wasn't obligated to be wherever you wanted her to be.

Your response to Cece sounded like you were angry to me, but that's just my observation.

If you feel you must address this, as you seem to want to do, I'm not sure what will be gained. Imani had some good suggestions if you want to go that route.

Your friend may have jumped the gun and cancelled not realising her family didn’t actually need her, or they may have felt better relatively quickly and decided to make the most of the day. She could have also felt like she wasn’t needed or felt overwhelmed and decided to spend time with her family instead (which, as someone with anxiety, I have done myself multiple times).

If you do speak to her, unless she tells you something to the effect of “sorry, I lied, I couldn’t/didn’t want to make it”, will you be any more content with her answer compared to what she has already said? Personally I would let it go and move on.

View Quoted Comment You’re absolutely right. I decided to let it go. Either way it’s not worth our friendship.

FWIW you can be sick and still sit outside with your family....

I babysat my one year old nephew on Thursday and he had a stomach bug, Friday at 4 PM I came down with the stomach bug he lovingly gave me after kissing me 700 times on Thursday, but my FBIL needed me to watch my nephew again for their fantasy football draft on Friday so I went over and watched him, was I dying inside? Yes. Could people around me on the outside tell? no.

Why are you all coming at her for being upset? people can be upset when people lie? or feel like a person lied? she wasn't obligated? lol i think that's so silly to say. I would definitely give your friend the benefit of the doubt, i doubt think she'd be shady and post a photo of an outing knowing full well she told you her whole family is sick, but her sickness could have been covid. so i feel like her precautions could have been extremely beneficial for you and thoughtful actually.

View Quoted Comment They meant that she sounded upset at people who were giving their opinions, which is what we were asked to do. Of course she’s upset with the friend.