Did you feel obligated to put your partner's family in the wedding?

I did not feel obligated and I did exactly what I wanted for our wedding and we have 0 regrets. We did not base our wedding off of anyone else besides the two of us ☺️🤍 I’m glad you’re happy with your decision, though!!

No. There really should be absolutely nothing whatsoever done out of obligation. If fiance wants to include certain people, because he wants them involved, not to please others who aren't getting married, then that is his choice and prerogative. Just like it is your choice to include your family/friends as you wish and other opinions don't matter. The same applies to inviting them, which should not be done out of obligation to anyone. Either you really want them in attendance because your day will not be as fun without them, or they are invited to please someone else who isn't you.


Not all friends/family need to be given special jobs and most would prefer to be a guest whose only responsibility is enjoy the event.

I don’t feel any sort of application to have my fiancé‘s sisters in the wedding. His oldest sister has a ton of kids and won’t be attending the wedding since it is an adult only affair & she doesn’t want to leave the kids at home. His younger sister is super cool and I love her, but she lives several hours away and we don’t see her often, so we’re not close anything. She and her husband will definitely be coming to the wedding and partying with us though! I am feeling a slight sense of obligation to include my SIL though. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding, despite the fact that we were not close. We got along and everything, but we lived in different states and hardly saw each other. She doesn’t have many female friends though, so she asked me and her other 2 SILs. I know she would be ecstatic if I asked her, but there are soooo many other people I’m closer to.

I didn’t feel obligated to have my SIL as a bridesmaid, I wanted to.
We’re not extremely close because we’ve always lived far from each other but having her as a bridesmaid anyways was a great decision. We bonded and I’m so glad that I had her by my side

My fiancé has multiple sisters, I only added one as a bridesmaid. She lives local and I see her at least once a week . She’s a lot younger than everyone (12 years) and will not really participate. The other sisters, I don’t really know them that well, he doesn’t spend time with them at all.


My brother will be on his side as a groomsmen and holds the same age gap. I didn’t feel obligated, I just kinda knew it was automatic that they were in the wedding.
But I will say, during this time you can’t make everyone happy, so as long as you and him are both on the same page, do what make you guys happy.

I didn’t feel obligated by any of his side of the family. My sister knew she was going to be my MOH & my daughter knew she would be a bridesmaid- I’m not even sure if I officially asked them! I added my “sister from another mister” about 10 months ago but not out of obligation. His sister has a girl & a boy who are the perfect ages to be a flower girl & ring bearer so we asked her if they could be.

Yes. My husband and I each have an opposite sex sibling and he thought it was “the right thing to do” to have each of them serve on the opposite sides. I never would have had his sister as a bridesmaid otherwise. We were not close and still are not.


Shortly thereafter, he told me he was pretty sure his cousin, who I actually was good friends with, expected to be included. One tipsy night of having fun with her an I agreed. Unfortunately, both her actions during my wedding planning process and how she’s changed since she’s gotten married have made us less close than we were and I wish I didn’t have her either.
Obligatory asks suck!

Heck no! I dislike my FH's siblings, they are deadbeat dads, unappreciative, disrespectul and take advantage of my future parents in law (i.e. threaten suicide if they don't receive money from them). No way!

I included my husband's sister because I love her dearly and wanted her to be a bridesmaid. I didn't ask her because I felt I had to. My husband didn't ask my brother, but that was fine because I ended up asking him to be a bride's man because we are really close and I wanted him to be a part of our special day. I never would have wanted my husband to feel forced into including him on his side. I feel the bride and groom should be able to pick who the want without the other's input or other outside opinions.

I wasn't forced to make them part of our wedding. FH is an only child BUT even if he wasn't, I know him nor his parents would try to force me to include them. My own siblings aren't even part of our wedding. I have no regrets about it either. The more pressured you feel into doing something, the more it will probably eat at you because it's not something you wanted to do for yourself or because you wanted to. Don't let others dictate what you do. If your MIL really would get upset over that, then that's bad blood to start with.

In a way, yes but FH assured me I didn't have to. I had already picked (for about 3/4 months) my bridal party (All over 21) when my FH's sister texted him asking to be a bridesmaid. She's only 16 and we're not close. I was caught off guard and asked my FH what he thought I should do. He said it was my group of girls and his sister would get over it. We found something for her to do instead. It was super awkward especially since she didn't message me she messaged him thinking that would have her get her way. (They're not very close either).

I'm glad you both are happy but I would have felt unwanted if I found out I was only picked out of a feeling of obligation.

Absolutely no obligatory asks. I found out at our first visit after being engaged, only the 3rd time I had met his family in the 10 months since we met, that it was customary in their family for sisters and SIL and 1st cousins, to be asked. And two of then FI great aunts explained that to me. They had 2 other sibs marrying within months, and ,3 cousins. And went into detail telling me of the 5 family weddings 2 years before, and the 5 already scheduled this year, and who was in each, and who was due that I should choose of 7 sisters and 3 brother's wives. And I smiled sweetly at my Fi who had a " Let's see you get out of this , I'm staying out of it " smirk . And I said, how gracious and welcoming they all were, but I had 4 sisters of my own, and 35 first cousins within 5 years of my age. And rather than hurt anyone's feelings I was having 3 friends and my godmother. Sofia, this cake is wonderful, is that allspice ... And they sat there quietly , 35 family who had come to dinner to meet me, and 4 I had already met, and listened to my FMIL talk to me about the spice cake. ... Over time I have come to enjoy the company of 1 of his sisters, and 2 new SIL recently married. But 6 sisters and , 3 of my hubby's brothers' wives are so different from me, like a Walrus and a bunch of poodles. We have nothing in common, and it never occured to me to even consider them before. After I got to know them, I was so happy I did not accept them in my wedding. Drama, Gossip, Sneaky and Nosy ( twins) , Space cadet, Spikes (her nails and shoes) and Dreamer. I like her.

I did not, but DH wanted his sister in the wedding.

...It didn't go well. (I didn't think it would.)

Your MIL can think all the negative things she wants, but those are her thoughts, and you can't control them. They reflect on her, not you.

Nope! My FH did what all his brothers did and is having his dad as the best man, and the remaining brothers as his groomsmen.

My mother told me that we were obligated to have my little cousins (who live in another country), be in our wedding as well. Keep in mind, I see her side of the family not even once a year, so I'm not close to them and my FH has never met them either. She was pretty upset when we told her we weren't having a flower girl or ring bearer (this was our final decision and it's a loooong story).

As for his SILs and nephews and niece, I still don't feel obligated to have them take part in the wedding. We both sat down and discussed it, and think less is more. Which is why we went with no FG or RB. I just believe that you shouldn't feel obligated to add family to a wedding party just because they're family.

Originally, I planned on having only one bridesmaid, my childhood best friend as my MOH, and my husband was considering 2-4 groomsmen, but was hesitant to have a significantly larger number than me. I asked him if he thought I should ask his sister to be in the wedding, and he said absolutely not (his actual response was "Why would you do that?"). It was a relief because I'm not close with her at all, don't really see eye to eye with her, and we have almost nothing in common.

IMO the people who stand by your side during your wedding should be people you have a connection with, not people in your partners family that you have no strong relationship with but happen to have the same gender identity.

I did not feel obligated to have anyone in my wedding. If your fiancé wants his sister in the wedding, she can stand on his side. There is no reason for you to feel obligated to have her on your side. Your bridal party should be made up of those closest to you.

I did not feel obligated to include his family in our wedding and neither did/does my fiancé. I have friends that I'm really close with that I would prefer having stand with me rather than his sisters (who I love dearly). It just wasn't necessary for me to include them just because. I only included my brother because he escorting our mom down the aisle. As long as it makes you happy ultimately, but not because you felt obligated to do so.