Did you send invites to people you know won't come?

We have a list of "courtesy invites" - these are mostly my family from Texas, Florida, (I live in Ohio) and Elderly people who refuse to leave their house. We know they won't come. It is something that we do just to make them feel special. The cost of maybe 5 invitations are worth it to me to put a smile on their face.

But if you aren't going to send out courtesy invites, then make up marriage announcements to send to everyone after the wedding. You can put a picture on them. They will surely appreciate that.

We are probably going to do wedding announcements! I would hate to send invites thinking they wouldn't come and then they decide to and it messes up the guest count, and in our case it would make a pick difference!

Thanks for everyone thoughts, suggestions and input. I used to be very close to my eldest cousin but over the years...gosh I don't even remember when I spoke with him last. He called me a few years ago to announce his wife had a baby boy and I didn't even know she was pregnant to begin with (even though he swore he told me). I would love to see him, his wife and all three of his children that I have never met....but I just don't know if doing all the "meeting" for the first time be at the wedding that they would be driving all those hours and I doubt I will have much time to spend with them. So I am still on the fence...announcements might be the best thing to do if I don't send them invites. I know my aunt,uncle and other cousin won't come....they own an ice cream parlor and NEVER close a single day in a year...I know they have people to run it...but I just don't see them traveling the long hours trip either. Anyways...thanks for the input.

We're sending invites to those we know probably cant make it, purely because it's thier decision if they can make it or not, and we dont want to hurt any feelings by not sending an invite- but you should do what's right for your family and what they expect

IMHO if you invite people you know won't come, it looks totally gauche to them because they then have to send you a gift. I tried to talk my mom out of inviting a ton of people who we know aren't coming, but she just had to have them on the list. And they're people I don't want attending because it'll take away from the very very small intimate wedding I'm trying for. One girls' husband totally gets on my nerves but she HAD to be invited for my mom. But I had no control over the guest list, only the venue and vendors.

I would invite them even if thay dont show thats what im doing it dont mater if thay show up or not thats ur big day not theres.

We did invited those who we knew wouldn't be able to come, because we wanted them to know they are important to us and if there was some way they could make it happen, how sad would it be if they didn't have that invite!

I am doing that because even though I know that they aren't going to come, I still want them to feel that we would like them to come. I guess it's just out of respect. I mean, I would feel bad if I wasn't even invited even if I knew I wouldn't be able to attend.

My goal is to get in invites to them in the mail tonight...I made labels for all the others but will hand write these just so I can get them out. I still have the online RSVP and will need to add them into that...but you are all correct..out of respect for them I should invite them and if they can make it great and if not..then okay too but at least I won't regret not inviting them =-)

Its definitely not tacky at all to invite someone who you know wont come. its a polite gesture. its like sending an invite to your wedding party! lol it feels sort of pointless right? but u should still do it! i felt silly getting invites ready for my grandma and grandpa and my wedding party... cuz i live with my grandparents, and obviously i know the wedding party is coming! lol

Mail out the invitation even though you think they won's show as courtesy. you might be surprised because a guest might show that you would least expect. some people i least expect would come isn't and those I taught are not.

We are having a very small DW, and I intend on inviting my aunts/uncles even though I strongly suspect none will attend. (Though I really wish a few would be able to make it!) It's more out of respect than anything else: I want them to know I wish they could be there, and I also want them to feel as though they are included.

The rest of my extended family (cousins and such) will receive announcements after the wedding. I doubt any would attend, it's a very small wedding, and none of us are very close.

We bought enough invitations to invite everyone that we WANT to be there. My rule of thumb is this.... don't invite anyone YOU don't want to be there, cause they just might show up.

We both had bad breakups from past relationships and considered sending each of our exes an invite (petty, I know) but then we changed our minds after we thought "what happens if they actually show up?" Ewww. Not pretty. We don't honestly want them there, so they don't get an invite.

My FW has a lot of friends from California that she's inviting, even though we doubt they'll be able to come (but she feels that they would try to be there if they could and that's reason enough to send them an invitation)

Yes, it's true that some of your relatives might think it's nice that you thought of them but others may see it as a gift request. If you know that they cannot attend the wedding you might put them in a position where they feel obligated to send a gift. If you had sent the invitations first and then discovered that they could not attend, well, that would be a different story. Etiquette states that they should send a gift. However, knowing in advance that they cannot attend (before you send out the invitations) seems as if you are asking for gifts. I know this is not your intent but some might see it that way. Just my opinion.