Did you stay out of your bachelorette party planning completely?

My pals basically asked me for some possible dates and looped me in on a couple of logistic related things but other than that it was 100% a surprise and i wasn't involved, which was really fun.

ETA in your case, OP, i'd communicate to your friends that they need to sort it out on their own...if money is a concern for one person, you could think about whether you're comfortable helping financially so that she can attend, but in no way are you obligated to do so.

I just had this conversation with my BM's I picked the location & the guest list, the rest is up to them to plan. I also asked for no sash or spectacle made, I am in my early 40's. I also reminded them I did not want a stripper, I am not a prude by any means, but they gross me out.

I was fairly involved at first- I picked the city (2 hour drive), and one of my BM and I looked at Airbnb's online to figure out what would be good. I was a bit annoyed though when I was asked questions about asking people to confirm or reminding people to pay so I told my MOH (twin sister) to handle it. She did, and no one asked me anything anymore. She did ask me if she can invite a couple of people outside the WP and I said yes. In the end, one non-BM joined and two BM couldn't come due to distance. I paid for my share of stay at the house but I didnt pay for anything else. They also got me lingerie type gifts since I'm not having a bridal shower. In the end it was the chill weekend spent by the pool I wanted.

@brd2be ask your sister to see what your FSIL can afford and see if you can cover the difference. If it is more important that your FSIL attend then I would just have your sister say pay what you can and you cover the rest

I gave my sister ideas of what I'd like to do because she's not in the area and wouldn't know what to look for. She's asked me for input, but I'm leaving it up to her.

I'm staying completely out of it. I had dinner with my MOH a few weeks ago and she ran an idea by me and I said it sounded good, and she asked for the contact info of who I wanted invited so I gave that to her. Other than picking a date from a couple that she comes up with as good candidates just to make sure I'm actually available, I'm not going to be involved further.

I actually just ran into this issue. My MOH is planning and everyone agreed to a $$ several months ago. Now that it's time to pay they're saying it's too much and they only agreed to the $$ to begin with because the house had a hot tub (she ended up booking one without a hot tub). So I stepped in and intervened and now everything is fine. I'm paying my share to lessen the burden and everyone is happy. I still don't know anything about the weekend other than the fact we don't have a hot tub.

This is definitely a know your friends kinda thing. My FSIL's threw our couples shower and kept asking me questions on what I wanted for food, games, etc., I kept telling them to do whatever and I wasn't picky, but they got super aggravated with me not giving input or helping. So I finally gave in and threw some ideas out for them.

My friends have been awesome and really took the reins on the whole planning process. They have ran some ideas past me and asked for a guest list.

My MOH asked me for ideas and I gave her some suggestions. I think it's fine to offer suggestions when asked.

I also paid for the hotel room we stayed at. One of my BMs had an apartment in a suburb of the town we were in, but I had to wake up the next morning and fly home, and I knew I'd sleep better in a hotel than on a sofa. Plus, the hotel was downtown so we could walk to and from dinner/drinks without having to worry about designated driving. Since I was the one who wanted to turn down the free option, I thought I should be the one to foot the bill.

In our group, the bride doesn't plan per say, but all plans are ran by her and she can inform us if it's cool or not. I do not like surprises, so I won't plan it, but at least tell me what we'll be doing.