Didn’t enjoy my wedding

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Thank you so much for the advice! I'm going to try really hard to relax before hand and not overthink every little detail especially the ones that don't really matter. (In the grand scheme of things) ... I can't wait to see your pictures after you get them back!

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That's rough for your grandma :/ Thankfully my entire family gets along. I definitely have good memories from my wedding, it was just the day of the wedding was super stressful and then when I was finally enjoying it it was gone in the blink of an eye. I'm excited to get the photos and videos back because I feel like I'll be able to enjoy the wedding vicariously through them

View Quoted Comment Aww same here!

View Quoted Comment Preach - I really loved attending weddings, and I'm hoping our own wedding experience is won't taint that.


It's okay to feel sad though, but glad you're starting to get excited!

Oh no. I'm very sorry to hear this.i agree with the previous poster. If everything happened in a blink then maybe you did have fun.

I can relate.

I'm so 100% happy I married my husband but the first words that come to mind when describing the day we got married are "stressful" and "disappointing."

Covid completely ruined our plans. I was so stressed leading up to the wedding and we had gone back and forth about whether or not to elope or postpone. My mom was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer 10 days before our original date, so we decided to go ahead with a mini-wedding despite the fact that our state was almost completely shut down and we had family in New Jersey and NYC which was the Covid epicenter at the time. We weren't sure how bad my mom's cancer was and were worried that postponing would mean she wouldn't be there at all. So instead of the 80 person celebration we planned, we ended up having just our parents and a few close friends in attendance and only did a first look, our vows, cake and champagne, and a first dance. Hotels were closed and restaurants were mostly still just doing curbside, so we had five people staying in our two bedroom, one bathroom house and had to cook meals for everyone for an entire weekend. I had to share my 90 square foot bathroom with three other women while getting ready for my own wedding and my husband and I had zero privacy on our wedding night. My best friend was originally going to drive my mom (who doesn't really travel at all), but my friend was very concerned about my mom's cancer diagnosis and Covid and didn't feel comfortable driving her, so my mom's friend (who wasn't on our 80 person guest list) ended up driving her and came to our wedding. It was so frustrating to have her take one of the few spots at our wedding when my husband's sister and two of his four groomsmen couldn't attend because of gathering size limits, but we felt like we had no other choice. My mom and her friend needed help with EVERYTHING all while I'm trying to get ready for my own wedding and it was so miserable - all the way up to my MOH (whose dress never came, btw) and I are leaving the house to go to my first look and they go "wait we aren't ready yet and need to follow you because we don't know how to get there" mind you the address is literally on a STD card on our fridge and my mom's friend has a GPS. At the wedding, my husband's parents wouldn't even hug us because they were so worried about Covid and every single time my mom hugged me she'd ask permission, which was just heartbreaking. The parts of the wedding I liked best were the parts that didn't involve other people (so our first dance, and couples photos with our photographer) because those didn't feel weird, whereas everything else was tainted by this socially distanced pandemic situation. We also decided to stop by a friends house after and have champagne with them outside on their porch all dressed up because it was too stressful to go back home right away, and both my hubby and I say that was one of our favorite parts.

Getting photos back from the wedding REALLY helped. Our photographer did a beautiful job, and she managed to capture the moments where we were just happy. She helped parts of our wedding feel like a real wedding despite everything, and she brought a professional, composed touch to an event and time that just felt like chaos. I know you were a bride that had planned a lot pre-Covid and I think it's totally normal to feel like your wedding day was shafted and to feel a little let down by all of the compromises you probably had to make and all of the added stress of a pandemic on top of what tends to be a crazy day anyway. For my husband and I, it wasn't the wedding we wanted at all, but I feel like there were some beautiful and sweet moments tucked in amongst the chaos and we just got handed a really horrible situation we had to deal with at the worst possible time. Being married to him doesn't feel any less special because the wedding wasn't everything we wanted it to be.

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Crossing my fingers for you.

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your evening. I remember being stressed up until the day of. I found that planning my wedding was not nearly as enjoyable as I thought it would be.
I think when you see your photos and video you'll remember how it was a great day.

I feel the exact same way! I did not enjoy my wedding reception. I enjoyed the ceremony. The wedding reception I was stressed the whole time. When I think back on my wedding I just think stress and regret all the stress and money spent.

I feel the same exact way. I got married in April of last year. Everything was barely shutting down and no one knew what was happening. The virus was just so new. I literally had no idea what was going to happen at all. The church was only allowing the parents and witnesses. No one else. We didn't even have rehearsal so that was another bad thing. I had no idea when to come inside the church. I was outside by myself waiting for someone to tell me to come in. No one did. I went in and my husband was looking away from me. Because he didn't know I was there or started walking down the aisle. I had to yell at him to turn around. I don't know I wanted to get his reaction when he saw me come into the church. I'm glad I'm married but I don't really see anything good about my wedding, just that I married my best friend. But believe me, you're not the only one who thinks that way. Many women do. All we can do is remember what the outcome is. We are married and happy. The wedding day is one day, but marriage is a lifetime.

I feel the exact same way now. I just got married two weeks ago but I felt the opposite of how a bride should feel on her wedding day. I was also super stressed with the preparations and I still wasn’t completely satisfied. I want more than anything for a do over.

View Quoted Comment I am honestly so thankful for everyone sharing this about their days. I felt the same way and am trying so hard to find the happy moments on our day. I was stressed the entire time up to and during the wedding. So many things went wrong and everything was brought to my attention the entire time to fix it but when I wanted to fix it I wasn’t allowed to or was told no. Pictures did not capture any of the few must haves that I desperately asked for … which makes it all worse. We didn’t do a first look because my husband didn’t want to but that left less time for him and I to be together and to enjoy time with family and friends on the day … Covid he is postpone a year we had to find a new venue. Some of my vendors did not work well together … it just makes me so sad. But maybe this is all
More common than we think?

View Quoted Comment I totally understand how you feel, I’ve always wanted to feel and look like a princess on my wedding day but I felt nowhere neat that, unfortunately. The pictures were unprofessional and therefore, a bit crappy and I had to edit them to be able to look at them. I spent a few nights after the wedding just balling my eyes out over it.

I 100% felt the same way and made a very similar post a while ago. You're not alone. I did feel a little better when we got our sneak peek of the pro photos, but the memories of that day are still "meh" for me. We had a lovely private civil ceremony about 2 months before and that's the day I like to remember, unfortunately not the big wedding I always dreamed of and that we spent so much money on. That whole day felt like that dream you have where you're back in school taking a test you didn't study for - it was honestly kind of awful for me (even though same as you, everyone else seemed to enjoy it).

I hope you find a way to make peace with it - I'm considering a more relaxed photo shoot with us in our wedding attire at some point down the road maybe, as some small part of my disappointment relates to how bad my hair turned out that day and not getting any indoor portraits. Not sure if something like that would be of any help to you, but might be good to "redo" what you can and work on letting the rest go as much as possible - I know it's hard.

Just had my wedding two days ago I felt the same way. Similar to the woman who mentioned her grandmother’s wedding… I had so much family drama and my overbearing sister stayed with us the entire week leading up. My other sister completely hijacked my playlist that I worked so hard on, and the music was the only thing I really cared about and she ruined it. People seemed to be leaving really early and we had to make the rounds and talk to people as quickly as we could, and we were still behind schedule. So it’s like I didn’t really get to have great conversations with people, and I also didn’t get to dance the night away, because I had to rush to talk to people and we were still behind schedule. My mom got so drunk that she left the venue and drove to our house and stayed the night there. And that caused a lot of drama with my parents the next morning. It’s just also disappointing. The pictures make me feel a little bit better but we both just feel blah about it. I’m curious if you feel different two years later?

I am about two months out from my wedding and just got my professional photos back. To be honest, the photos sort of help but not really--because I look nervous and tentative in so many of them mainly because I simply could not relax the entire day. Further, our photographer was in the ER on the day of our wedding so our replacement photographer was not as good and missed shots. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and because I never relaxed and remained in a chronic state of stress during the entire event, it was clear in my photos. Not to mention, I'm expecting a baby so no alcohol or anything I could take on the day off to calm me down. So while I married the love of my life and I'm so incredibly happy, it was like my body would not let me "be happy" on that day. I also cannot stop thinking about the mistakes that happened either. Maybe its because the expectation is to ONLY feel joy that when one feels other feelings like stress, disappointment, etc. that we are left with guilt and shame for feeling that way. I also think it's perfectly natural to be upset when things go wrong when you've spent months/years being the sole planner of a major life changing event. I'm working on giving myself (and others) grace but I would be lying if I said it was the "best day of my life." Marrying my husband is one of the best things in my life but the actual event was really stressful, emotional, and went so quickly. I hope all of you are feeling better now a few years later! I know time will make things better.

For me it was the opposite - I didn't stress all the way up to wedding, I didn't even stress during the ceremony in church (I guess that was my favourite part), but the moment we got to the manor where further celebration took place, and saw everyone line up and waiting / cheering for us, making us do tasks - that's where the stress kicked in. I had such anxiety, and when we sat down at the table in front of everyone - a mini panic attack even, as I had to go and cry in the restroom to my husband and ask "is this normal"?

Anyways, I felt that way whole evening until we got the chance to normally talk to our guests (afrer all activities and photosessions) and when the official part was over and we were able to dance and just have fun. When I received the photos, looking back, It makes me smile and I believe the day was beautiful, but I also think it's OK to feel overwhelmed for whatever reason. And in my case it wasnt even organising stress, it was some kind of social anxiety (I guess covid did its thing), which is surprising, taking into account that family and friends attend the event. At first, I thought there's something wrogn with me that I felt that way, and a big part is usually having these expectations and other experiences you see on the internet and movies, that the day "should be the best day of your life", and when something is not like that, you start to doubt yourself. My mom and some of my friends who are married assured me, that they also cried / felt anxious at some part of their wedding, it just means you're human. Did I enjoy the wedding at the time? No, I didn't even manage to eat or drink during my wedding, which sucked, but am I happy that I'm married? Yeah.

So don't worry.. What matters is that you're married and happy, and pictures can make it better! (unless you're not happy with your photographer)