I kinda just want to vent and maybe get some advice.
My FH proposed to me in 2021. Ever since then it seems his family, especially my sister in law, do not want to see us getting married. First with the engagement, his side of the family ruined our engagement DAY by picking a fight with us even before I knew I was getting engaged that day. (They ALL KNEW he would be proposing that day and still decided to pick a fight)
I now have a horrible memory of my engagement day, every-time someone asks me how he proposed that is the first thing that pops in my mind. (I moved on and let it go, it was very hard for me to do so, since I always dreamed of getting engaged and dreamed of having a beautiful memory of it)
In 2022 we announced to his family that we wanted to set a date and we were planning on getting married at the end of 2023 however, his family seems to get upset whenever we bring up getting married. When we announced our date his family had no reaction, they just stayed quiet and moved on to another conversation. We later found out that day that they were upset as they were not the first ones to “find out” we were setting a date. (To me this sounded like such an excuse to ruin our day). After this sour moment we dropped any talk of getting married.
Now in 2023 we have finally set a date for our wedding and reserved a venue! We are so excited. Due to past bad experiences with his family we have kept wedding planning to ourselves as much as we can. However, as soon as his sister found out about us setting a date and reserving a venue she says she wants to get married next month! (She has been engaged for 4 years) when she found out which venue i picked she said “that is the one I wanted!” She says she wants to have a small wedding next month and have the big wedding next year before mine. Even my FH parents have questioned her about wanting to get married next month as she had not mentioned any wedding talk in years!! The small amount of times I have mentioned any wedding planning she immediately turns the conversation to make it about her and how she is so stressed to find a wedding dress in less than a month and plan her wedding in such a short amount of time! I find it really hypocritical that she is able to announce to people about getting married however, she became really upset when she wasn’t the first one to find out we were getting married as she stated to us “ we should have known first before other people”.
My FH, myself, and as well as my side of the family, are worried that they, especially her, will try to find a way to ruin our wedding day due to all past bad experiences ( there are many more that I did not include).
Has anyone have any similar experiences with difficult in laws and how did you handle the situation?
