Difficult situation with a guest

Yikes that is a tough one. Unless there's pretty blatant behavior (threats, violence, racism/discrimination), I think the general rule applies - you can't really invite 1/2 of a couple to a wedding. You can invite them both and hope she doesn't come....you can invite them both and give a heads up to anyone that will be seated at the table with them....you can invite them both and just keep your interaction (as a couple) to a minimum with them (as a couple). It sounds like the vast majority of the interaction that day would be between you (the groom) and the cousin (the groomsman) anyway. I doubt your future wife will have much interaction with the rude girlfriend anyway, but if she chooses not to invite the rude girlfriend, it could (easily) be interpreted as a slight against your whole side of the family that she's marrying into - I'm sure she doesn't want that. I see her point that she shouldn't have to pay/host anyone that she straight-up dislikes, but I think this is one of those instances where she asks her bridesmaids "can you please make sure I have some hot tea or a glass of wine in my hand if/when I'm forced to interact with the rude girlfriend?"

I agree with others that since it doesn't seem as though this girlfriend did anything exceptionally wrong, she should still be invited. You only mention their first meeting, but have they had other altercations after meeting once? I don't feel like "I think she's rude" is a valid enough reason to not invite the significant other of one of the groomsmen.

I mean, no one in my family likes my aunt's new husband because he's rude, but I can't only invite my aunt and not him. Sometimes with family stuff you just have to deal with people you don't 100% get along with, granted, as long as it's nothing serious.

I guess it depends on what exactly made her feel uncomfortable. If it wasn't serious then I think both should be invited. Sometimes first impressions aren't everything either, Elizabeth could've been really nervous the first time and came across as a certain way. My best friend and I actually hated each other the first time we met and now we've been friends for 10+ years. Even if that doesn't happen though, it's not fair to NOT invite this person simply because she came across as rude.

Couples need to be invited as a package deal, unless one of them has done something really terrible.

I guess I would really need to know what Elizabeth did/said to qualify her as "rude." Couples are a social unit and you generally cannot invite one without the other. As a previous poster said, you really aren't going to have lots of 1:1 time with guests and Jane probably won't even notice that she's there.

If Jane felt this way, she needed to mention it long before now. You have already asked David to be a groomsman, There's a good chance that if you don't invite Elizabeth, he will bow out in support of her (and rightfully so). Jane is asking you to risk your friendship with David. Unless Elizabeth did something that is blatantly unforgivable, then she needs to be invited. Just being "rude" isn't good enough. Jane doesn't need to talk to her, she just needs to be supportive of your relationship with your cousin.

Am I the only one who thinks this relationship could be salvaged before the wedding? If all four of you could sit down and Jane could express to Elizabeth how their encounter made her feel, Elizabeth could explain her side. There's a possibility that Elizabeth never meant to come off the way Jane interpreted and maybe Elizabeth could just apologize and everyone can go about their merry way. If meeting up doesn't go this smoothly, then it could be a conversation with David about how hurt he would be Elizabeth wasn't invited - especially if he is there to witness the conversation. He may not be offended at all and maybe see it as an opportunity to avoid drama. If everyone can come together and be adults about the whole thing, I don't see why it couldn't be resolved before the wedding.

I agree with everyone else, that more information is probably needed, someone just being "rude" doesn't really constitute breaking up a couple on the invite list.

FH has a friend who's engaged to a girl I knew in High School, we've had our issues, don't really get along, have had verbal spats as she's said nasty things about my best friend (who is one of my bridesmaids) all around she's just not a great person but we're inviting her as her fiancee is a groomsmen.

FH has a cousin who's also engaged, but her fiancee will not be invited to the wedding, he has cause numerous issues in the past, makes me wildly uncomfortable, and we know some pretty horrific details of their relationship which leads us to A) not support their relationship and B) not feel comfortable with him being at the wedding. FH's cousin is aware (tho we have to have another conversation about it cause I doubt she thinks I'm gonna hold my word on this) that her fiancee is not invited, they broke up about 2 years ago, and when she was thinking about getting back together with him I told her she had to be comfortable with dating someone who would not be invited to our wedding (her favorite cousin), our house, or any family get togethers we would host and if she was OK with that than she was making her bed she'd have to lay in.