Difficult Wedding Party

I would let it be for now. Your wedding is still a bit away, and she has plenty of time to get a bridesmaid dress. Since they don't need to wear the same the dress, does the exact dress need your approval? I would tell her to find a dress in that color she can afford and maybe check in in a few months.

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They don't need to be the same dress, but I want them to be purchased from the same store so they are the exact same color. I also want them to be long and the same fabric. I am not sure if she will really have the money in a few months because she is going back to school in January. She announced this after I already asked her to be in the wedding. She has turned in her 2 week notice at work already because she doesn't want to go to school and work. She indicated that she wants to be able to focus solely on school. She is still living at home so she doesn't have a lot of expenses. She also got a scholarship for school so she doesn't really have a ton of school expenses. She had told me she wanted to buy a dress prior to starting classes because she didn't want to worry about looking for a dress while in school. Now, it is suddenly a problem.

Azazie only takes about 4 weeks to come in so I wouldn’t stress too much right now.

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Azazie has been eliminated as an option due to my other two bridesmaids refusing to purchase a dress online.

View Quoted Comment Well, if she can't get a dress, then she can be a guest.

View Quoted Comment That would honestly break my heart, but I am afraid that might be the only option. I know David's Bridal often has sales and things like that so I'm hoping she can find something that works within her budget even though she has no clue what she can actually afford.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, I can imagine that would be upsetting. However, as an adult, she needs to figure out how to budget things in general and then see if being in a bridal party fits within that budget. Being a bridesmaid is expensive. Where I'm from, the bridal party usually splits the cost of the shower and bachelorette, along with buying the dress and shoes and usually getting professional hair and makeup. So that amount spent can add up fast, which is something your friend needs to consider as she's going through this transition from working to full-time school.

View Quoted Comment I just wish she had been honest with me from the beginning. She said she was thinking about going back to school before I even asked her. I was in her wedding and spent a bunch of money as a bridesmaid. They ended up divorcing not even a year later.

Does she not have a credit card she could use to pay for the dress? or maybe someone could put up the money for her and she pays them back? i feel like there are a few options for her. and the wedding is a bit a way even if she saves $10 a week that will help! if you want them to order from Azazie then thats it. don't let them run all over you. you are being very nice letting them choose on their own. most people don't. if she doesn't look or order the dress then she won't be in the wedding.

Stick with Azazie and pay for the samples yourself if possible. They aren't expensive and they were a great way for my bridesmaids to try it on. We are doing Azazie (wedding is Aug 2020) and 1 has purchased, 1 hasn't even looked, and the other 3 are taking their time. You still have awhile before the wedding. I would just tell them firmly what you've chosen (honestly Azazie is likely cheaper than David's) and tell them to order by ___ date. Let them sort it out themselves after they have the info.

I agree with Catherine. If you want them to order dresses from Azazie that is where they should be ordering from. Plus they are much more reasonably priced compared to David's Bridal.

The samples to try on at home for Azazie are really inexpensive--agreed with PPs that, if you can afford it, you should just pay for the try-on dresses and make sure that the dress(es) you send is within everyone's budget.

Additionally, being in a wedding is expensive. Not everyone realizes that up front. People can agree to be in a wedding and then later realize that their budget doesn't allow them much wiggle room for these extra things. Maybe you, as the bride, realized it--but that's not always the case. I'd cut your friend some slack here. Also, please don't have anyone use credit to pay for anything they need for your wedding. No one should go into an ounce of debt (or have to incrementally save up money for your wedding on a paper-thin budget of their own already, especially those paying for school) for your big day.

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I don't know if she has a credit or not. I am also not sure if anyone would be willing to pay the money up front for her to get the dress. Once she has a dress, I am concerned that she will say she can't afford to have it altered. I am looking at dresses from David's that are petal pink, long and chiffon. They have dresses ranging from $19.99 to $169.00. There are 44 options so I would think that she could pick one from them.

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Part of the problem is that I don't know what her budget is. I picked 10 dresses in varying price ranges, but she will not tell me a definite budget. The two other bridesmaids aren't being very reasonable when it comes to ordering online which is why I eliminated it as an option. David's Bridal has 44 dresses in the color, length and fabric I want ranging in prices from $19.99 to $169.00. She should know how much these things cost because she got married last year.

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My bridesmaids are being unreasonable. Based on what I read you can only order 3 samples at a time. They aren't the same size so it isn't like they could both try on all three dresses. Also, they like completely different styles so I would probably have to order all ten dresses in different sizes which would end up being a lot of money.

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I was thinking Azazie because they have a lot more options, but since I changed colors and I am allowing them to pick the style maybe we will be more successful at finding dresses than before.

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Yeah that is difficult.. i love davids bridal just for the fact they have SO many options along with a great price range.

have you thought about if she can't afford the dress? the possibility of "relieving" her of her duties? maybe replacing her? its a tough subject and definitely something you don't want to think about but she has to know you can't afford to dress her and pay for your wedding. She shouldn't have agreed when you asked her if she couldn't afford it and everything that goes along with it

View Quoted Comment I would hate not having her in my wedding. I had picked her over my brother's wife who I was maid of honor for. We had wanted to keep sides equal so I could potentially have my brother's wife in my wedding. She is super laid back so she wouldn't feel like a second choice, but I know a lot of people are against replacing bridesmaids.

I went to David's Bridal and picked a color. I told all my BM's that they needed to buy a long Biscotti dress in the mesh fabric and I wanted them to all have a different dress. Other then that, they can choose what they want. There are over 50 different options so I'm sure they can find SOMETHING. My ladies are all in a group message so they would go try on, choose, and send a photo to the group so everyone knew that dress was no longer an option. The ladies at DB also told me there is a pretty big sale that happens twice a year. Based on research I think it'll happen in February.

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No i totally understand. i'm sorry you are in the predicament. i hope that she is able to make it all work out and be there for you on your big day!