Dilemma -legal ceremony without parents

If I got invited to a destination wedding then found the couple had been married for a while and it was just a celebration of marriage, I’d be pissed off. Either tell people so they know, or do the paperwork when you get home.

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This. 100%.

Don't start your marriage off by misleading everyone in your life.

Be transparent. Communicate with your dad and give him an understanding. I wouldn’t do anything sneaky or behind his back.

I think if you are adult enough to get married, then you should be adult enough to handle this situation honestly, and not sneak around like a bunch of teenagers. If you are dead set on not allowing your parents to witness the signing of your marriage license, then you need to be honest with them (and your guests) about it.

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I agree with this 100%.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Everyone has to make the best decisions for themselves so if not including the parents is the right move for you and your FS that's fine. Don't lie about it though.

If you're just signing the license like its NBD, then whats the problem with letting your dad tag along to watch? You need 2 witnesses anyway so use him as one.

Tell your dad to get over it. I'm being 100% serious. Your marriage is about you and your fiance, your dad has nothing to do with the paper signing anyway. My husband and I got married last November and didn't tell my parents until a week later and his a few months later. We told our bridal party back in March and haven't told anyone else unnecessary. Not hiding it, just not putting it out there really. I didn't want the paper signing to be the focus, I want our wedding to be.

Our wedding is March 2023. Everyone we've ended up telling or who has found out literally could not care less. There will be some people who find out the day of, and I expect zero negative reactions. If someone were to think poorly of the decision I ultimately don't want them there anyway. This was the best choice for my husband and I and it's no one's business but ours.

This tends to be an exceptionally hot topic on these forums and my opinion is generally in the minority lol. So take that as you will that your family and guests may not have the laid back attitude that mine do and you'll have to reconcile your own feelings with that.

Thank you so so much ladies for being my sounding board!! You all were very helpful beyond my imagination. I talked to my dad and he came around - we will be signing papers this friday and celebrating with everyone next summer like we originally planned. Lesson learned is parents do want the best for us and understand the choices we make. As long as there s communication, there is always a way to find the best solution. Woohoo!!

View Quoted Comment Minority wins! Thank you for chiming in!

View Quoted Comment In my state they dont even require witness so it ll be me and my boo! Thank you so much, Carissa, for helping me!

View Quoted Comment You are so right Sarah! Lying is not the answer. We are making it work! Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Congratulations!!! Good parents always come around. Sometimes the initial idea is just a bit of a shock if it's what they werent imagining for you.

View Quoted Comment Honesty is truly key! Thank you for helping me out!

View Quoted Comment You said it Cece “communicate” and that s what i did! Thank you for your help!

View Quoted Comment You re so right Jacks! Thank you so much for your help!!

View Quoted Comment You are right on point and i wouldnt want to hurt my people over such a happy occasion. Thank you for your help!!