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Just Said Yes September 2022

Disagreeing on a guest

Shannon, on April 18, 2022 at 9:04 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10
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Hi everyone! I have been having a really tough week. My fiancé and I got into an argument over something small that had just blown up so much bigger. He started bringing up ther things that we have already discussed and one of the main things is he wants to invite a friend who just got out of prison after serving 3 years. I understand everyone has a past so I don’t mean to sound judgemental. I told my fiancé I was uncomfortable with it because I’ve never met this friend and the only think I know about him is he went to prison. They didn’t keep in touch while he was locked up and I told my fiancé I would be open to it if I met him. The thing for me is he asked what I thought and I tried to share my honest feelings about it. I just want to know I’m not a total bridezilla and it’s reasonable to feel uneasy.
Also, I know it’s just one guest. If I had known being honest about it would turn into such a big ordeal, maybe I would have handled it differently. Anyone else had a similar experience?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on April 20, 2022 at 2:15 PM
  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Hello Shannon I understand what you are saying because if they havent kept in contact but also the friend probably had no way of reach out him. But the wedding is not the place to try and to catch they can do that at another time. I'm also going thru it he calls me and say that he need some invitations to hand them out I'm like what???excuse me. Like this is not a club flyer to get in I need to know who?? these ppl are that you are inviting. See my FH talks like a girl and just in inviting ppl. I have a system and we need to write there names add them to the count but little do he know I will veto them out oooo sweet jesus.
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2022
    Taylor ·
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    I guess it depends. As long as he isn’t dangerous then I wouldn’t have a problem. There’s plenty of things people go to prison for and as long as it didn’t have to do with physically harming someone or damaging a place of business then I probably wouldn’t care. But I don’t think I would see a reason to feel uneasy unless I thought he would hurt me or another guest or cause a problem and I should trust my fiancé wouldn’t want to invite him if he thought that was the case. I think just saying no because they went to prison if it wasn’t dangerous is being judgemental. Do you know what he went for
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  • L
    Devoted April 2023
    Lucy ·
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    I'm not sure why he wants to invite him so badly. I mean: They didn't keep in touch while he served his term but your fiancé could have reached him out had he wanted to, so why didn't he visit him/send letters if this friend wad that important to him?

    "I was uncomfortable with it because I’ve never met this friend [...] I would be open to it if I met him.": Don't feel bad because of this. We are only inviting people who met the 2 of us (or will) before our RSVP due date: extended family, friends, parents/family friends and their spouses, boy(girl)friends, no exceptions allowed . Only inviting people the 2 of you know, so no one will be introduced to you or your husband on the day of, is totally acceptable in my book and it's more common than people think.

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  • E
    Devoted August 2022
    Emily ·
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    Your feelings are valid and I totally am on your side. If your fiancé doesn't meet up with him before your wedding, how good of a friend is he with this man?

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  • N
    Savvy November 2022
    Nay ·
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    Have him come over before the wedding and invite him. Im sorry, i think its silly to argue over one guest. Sounds like you are only uncomfortable because you know he was in jail, which isn't right. I could understand if it was a terrible charge, like murder, though. But for only 3 years, it probably wasnt that bad. Anyways. He did his time, dont be one of the people always throwing it in his face.
    I will say, i may biased though lol. In my case, my FH is not really involved with planning. He is giving me free reign, but has asked for maybe 3 things, so i make it priority to make sure he gets those things because its his day too. Im applying that logic here
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  • Brittany
    Devoted October 2022
    Brittany ·
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    Agree that meeting him before the wedding and seeing how things so is a great idea. I wouldn't want the first time I see a friend after 3 years to be at their wedding anyway, lol. I'd want to catch up first!

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I would not be comfortable with the criminal past, but I could look past it depending. But if they can’t keep in touch more often then they aren’t that close.
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    I think it's totally reasonable to want to meet the guy first. I'd be hesitant to invite someone if the only things I knew about them were that they went to jail and haven't spoken to my fiancé in over 3 years, and it sounds like you'd be open to inviting him if you got to know him better. Ideally, he's learned from what he did, and I'm sure it would be a lot easier to confirm that after a dinner or something.

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  • E
    Dedicated February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    Regardless of his prison stay, if my husband wanted to invite a "friend" he hadnt spoken to in 3 years and I had never met that would be a no anyway.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Exactly this. Why is it that your FI feels strongly about having this particular guest?

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