Disappointed

I understand but it is not like she is just choosing not to come rather her husband bought her tickets to see her family so that kind of trumps the party. She will be there for the wedding yes? I think since she is friends with your husband she is not in the wrong to attend his party. I understand you're upset but honestly I would not harp on it too long rather still enjoy the bachelorette party.

I do not think you are wrong for being upset and not wanting her to go to the other party, BUT things do happen and your reaction is most likely normal. I planned an event at the same time I will be in Dubai. Even though we have these huge travel plans, somehow they slipped my mind. It happens. Unless you feel this was done maliciously, I'd take a breather and let it go.

I don't think you need to worry about this. She also has a life and gets to see her family, which is great! And then she's still going to be there at your wedding. I think it's fine!

I understand why your feeling the way you do but she has a legit reason and still wants to be included in the other events so personally I would let it go

I definitely understand that you're feeling disappointed, I felt the same way when one of my bridesmaids told me her dad had done something similar and surprised her and her brother with a ski trip that same weekend. I would go through your range of emotions, feel sad and upset, then move on from it. Otherwise you'll still be holding a grudge over this into the wedding itself and may permanently damage a good friendship, which I feel is not justified in this situation. I wouldn't say that she's choosing sides by going to your fiancé's party and not yours, that's just how the schedules happened to work out. Your fiancé or the bridesmaid shouldn't be penalized or feel guilty for this. Sorry girl!