Disappointment with Mom.

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Lol that is a crazy coincidence!

I know! October seems to be so far away but it will be here before we know it!

I am sorry she is being this way. I have a mom like that, Negative Nancy is her appropriate nickname.

I have learned to lower my expectations. Her and I are very different people. I can only handle her and her negative comments in small doses. I learned to just limit what I tell her. It's almost like you have to mourn the mom you thought you should have, instead of what you ended up with, you know? Mine is not a terrible person. There are people who have horrible, abusive mothers, that would look at me and think I am crazy for talking this way. Her negative attitude and the way that she can cut me down in an instant is just more than I care to tolerate. I've done it my whole life and I am done now.

I would schedule my appointment and if she showed up, fine. If not, no big deal either. Surround yourselves with those who love and support you. That is all you can do.

Hang in there!

Oh no, that is indeed disappointing. Set up your appointment and go without her if she doesn’t want to come.

If it makes you feel any better, my mother made me cry on the way to the bridal salon! Lol. Thank goodness my sister and matron of honor was there. She's taken on the roll of fielding things between my mother and I. My mother and I do have a good relationship and she is excited for my wedding. Our problem is more of a communications issue than anything else. It's always been that way.

I'm sorry that your mom isn't behaving as excited for you as she was with your half-sister. Have you tried to have a conversation with her about it?

View Quoted Comment Thats the route im going and it's made everything so much easier! As disappointing as it is we deserve to be happy and surrounded by love when prepping for one of the most important days of our lives

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You definitely have my sympathy! It sounds like your mother is being hurtful in a whole lot of ways, not just the wedding.

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Thank you so much! She's being super negative but I'm going to take your advice to try to not include her unless she expresses that she wants to be included!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much. It's actually very comforting to see I'm not alone in this type of situation. I completely agree, it's hard knowing that there are people out there who have horrible abusive mothers. I always think that I'm being insensitive when I talk about the issues with my mom. However, the feelings are still very valid. Just because she isn't as bad as others, it still hurts, you know? I'm on the same page. My mom is not at all a terrible person, but her negative attitude really effects me. Thank you so much for your advice, it truly means a lot!

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Thanks Tara, it is disappointing . I think i'll definitely do that! I'm thinking of inviting her + my MOH. If my mom doesn't show up, I have my MOH there to support me, if she wants to come.

View Quoted Comment Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that she made you cry on the way to the bridal salon! But, I'm glad that your sister and MOH were there to help. Maybe that's the answer to my solution...have those there to balance out my mom's negativity lol. My mom is someone that you just can't have a normal conversation with if it's anything confrontational. I just had a conversation with my Dad about how i've been feeling and apparently he tried to talk about it with my mom (I don't live with them). She instantly denied everything and got mad at him (not sure why...). She's really just a piece of work. lol

I am so sorry that you’re going through this: looking for a dress is a very special time for a bride .and remember this is your day and you have to be excited and happy 😆 and if your mom can’t come or gives you another excuse just go on without her. take the people you said you were going to take the people that care about your wedding and want to be involved in the wedding ,just stay positive maybe she’ll come around. Good luck

View Quoted Comment My sister is my matron of honor. As a person with Asperger's Syndrome, communication can be difficult and my mother's criticism is no exception. My sister is a speech pathologist, but she can deal with my mother when I'm unable to.

I think that you should bring your mom and bring someone who can deal with her if necessary, like your dad. The dress is really a mother-daughter moment, so don't invite you FMIL over your own mom. I had my mom, aunt, cousin, sister, SIL and FMIL all I'm attendance that day. My mom would have been hurt if I hadn't invited her. My FMIL has only sons, so I extended her an invitation. When my mom asked me why I invited my FMIL, that was the reason I gave her.

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Thank you Gloria. I agree, I should concentrate on people who are excited!

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Thank you Lily! I loved hearing that you invited your FMIL. That was very sweet of you. I think I'll definitely still invite my mom, and it will be up to her to decide if she wants to come or not. I will probably extend that invite to FMIL and others or possibly invite them to my alterations appt in the future.

Definitely .best wishes,just continue with you’re planning . And congratulations 🎉🍾🎊 on your wedding.

View Quoted Comment Brittany, I meant so say that I am the one with Asperger's, not my Mom. Lol.

I think that your mom should be invited to all of your dress appointments. Just bring someone else along who can act as a buffer between the two of you if necessary. You can invite your FMIL, but since you do have a relationship with your mother, she should be your first guest. She may end up enjoying the experience with you and it may open up her excitement.