Discouraged about friends...

YES! You are not alone, and I feel very similar. Hopefully they will come through when the actual weekend gets here. Maybe you can have a talk with your FH about how you're feeling and let him know that you will need him to give you attention even though he is excited to see his friends since you aren't able to get any elsewhere.

I definitely can relate to you. I only have one close girl friend from college and she isn't great about staying in touch. On the other hand, FH has friends from 20 yrs ago that are still close. It kind of stinks to not have friends, but honestly, I'm too busy to keep up a lot of relationships anyway. Since FH and I are long distance right now and I work on my business after work, that pretty much leaves no time for friends. I'm hoping once we move in together and get settled, I'll be able to make some new friends.

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I'm sure they will come through this weekend, and I do expect that I'll have a great time with them once they're here, it's just mostly upsetting because I'm sick of having to sit here and watch his friends go above and beyond for him, when none of mine seem to be here for me. That sounds bad, and selfish, I know... and like I said, I am genuinely glad he has such great friends, it's just really hurtful to constantly have my face rubbed in the fact that I don't.

FH actually suggested just getting dinner with our families on Friday night instead and then meeting up with his friends later, so that way it wouldn't be the ENTIRE evening of me basically tagging along with his friends. I feel bad because he shouldn't get to spend less time with his friends because mine aren't there! But he's saying that he'd like to spend more time with his grandparents (who are also travelling from across the country) anyway, so maybe we'll just do that.

Though regardless of what ends up happening with dinner, I just hate that this is even an issue and that I have to feel like this

I'm glad I'm not alone in this feeling, but I am sorry that you can relate! It really sucks. I hope yours come through for you during your weekend too. At least we have WW friends to get excited with us! Lol.

I feel you girl!! I just keep reminding myself how much drama there would be if i was still in contact with my high school friends! would it be nice to have more support, sure, but at the same time that would mean more opinions in the mix of things and ain't nobody need that when their planning a wedding

I can somewhat relate. One of my lifelong bestfriends went to the same college as me so I am still friends with her, but we didn't meet in college. We have gone to school together since we were kids. I met another one of my bestfriends and bridesmaids in college but she is really the only friend from college I still talk to. I had another really good friend from college but we have drifted apart since graduating. My bridesmaids are literally my only friends coming to the wedding. I don't really have any other friends besides the four of them. Personally, I am fine with this as I was always someone who tended to have just a few really close friends instead of a huge group of friends so this doesn't bother me. I really value my friendship with each of them and consider them lifelong friends. I really care about having meaningful, deep friendships and I think you can only have that with a few people personally. However, my FH has a ton of friends coming to the wedding so I can definitely relate there. A huge chunk of our guestlist are his friends meanwhile I literally have none besides my girls in the wedding lol

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It's honestly so difficult to make friends once you're out of school, I have no idea how people do it? And I keep trying so hard not to be upset and angry that I wasted my college years on people who ended up being terrible, but it is really frustrating. I keep telling myself that I'm too busy anyway and it's fine, but I still always feel a pang of bitterness honestly every time that he is invited to something with his friends (which happens CONSTANTLY) and I feel so guilty for feeling that bitterness, but I do :/ and with the wedding being this weekend, it's just especially amplified right now.

I hope you are able to make some more once you guys move in!

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You're right! Yet somehow in my situation, there has still been drama? I made a post about this a few months ago too but one of my bridesmaids who has basically been MIA this whole process (rarely even answers my texts) reached out to all the other bridesmaids in a group chat (that I was NOT part of) and started coordinating our "morning-of schedule" -.-

Soooo... even MORE frustrating, because they're uninvolved, yet then suddenly step in and make it all about them...

I can relate to this too. I had what I thought was a really great group of friends in high school, but we all kind of scattered after graduation. Then for college, I made a few new friends, but not really deep friendships, at least not with women. That's been a struggle my whole life, being friends with women. There's always so much drama, competition, back biting, etc. I've always found it easier to be friends with men. So, now, here I am, 51 years old, getting married for the first time, with almost no women in my life. I'm lucky I have some close family members. If it weren't for my daughter, my sister and my cousin, I wouldn't have any females in my life! I am grateful to have those three, but I do understand what you are feeling. FH has a ton of friends, all the way back to high school. They still keep in touch regularly, they get together whenever schedules allow. I'm kind of jealous of that, even though I'm happy that he has that.

But the lack of friends has come back on me during this wedding planning. Nobody to share ideas with, research and plan with. Nobody who is as excited as me!

I know this is a hard thing but from everything you've said, your FH is a keeper!! Sounds like a really great guy!! Try to focus on family for now, and the friend stuff will come in a few days. I'm so excited for you Gen!!!! You're almost there! Congratulations!!

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You have a really great attitude, I admire that! I also have always been the type to have a few close friends rather than a big group of friends. I feel like if my bridesmaids were more involved (or even semi-involved lol) I probably wouldn't feel like this. I basically have one friend who has been reaching out to me this week to see how I'm doing (she isn't a bridesmaid actually because we only got close within the past 6 months or so). I'm really happy to have her at least, and I wish I could replace MIA bridesmaid with her without being a b***h but I know that isn't possible

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Thank you for the kind words, this really made me feel a lot better! I've kind of felt like I was missing out on a lot of the wedding planning experience because my friends are so uninvolved :/ but knowing that you and other brides also feel like this has made me feel a little less alone in that. You are so right that it's important to be grateful for what we do have. On the flip side I suppose, my family is MUCH more involved than FH's is (both in wedding planning, and in our lives), and he probably wishes he had a more involved family. And a lot of people who have plenty of friends probably wish they had a great future spouse so... I guess no one can have the best of everything!

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Yes, that is tough. I think, unfortunately, weddings can change friendships. As much as people don't want to admit it, I think it brings out a lot of jealousy and insecurity in people, especially girls, a lot of the time. I had another really close friend from college who I was planning on having in the wedding when I first got engaged. She got extremely jealous and it completely destroyed the friendship. We don't even talk anymore.

Yes! I completely agree, I have a few close friends. My MOH was my roommate and best friend in college; my other BM is my cousin who I have always been close to and my other BM is a friend from college, but we don't always see eye to eye on things; at one point we didn't talk for almost a year. I have never had a big group of friends, I have always had just a few close friends and that is it. I also agree I have no idea how people make friends after college. My FH is similar to me and doesn't have a large group of friends, but he still has more than I do. The friends in my wedding party are really my only friends invited to the wedding. I wouldn't let this get you down though, it's just the way things happen. Remember this is your day!

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, especially so close to your wedding day! You're not alone though, and you're not in the wrong at all. I don't have many close friends period, so when FH decided he wanted 6 of his closest friends standing by his side, I struggled at first and even debated having a smaller bridal party. It all ended up working out, but my entire bridal party is very spread out, and I really only keep in touch with 2/6 regularly (daily/weekly). Hang in there though! At the end of the day, all that matters is that you're going to be marrying your best friend this weekend

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See? There you go. Nobody has a perfect life. We all have things we wish were different, or people we wish we could change, etc. That's why it's so important to be grateful for what you have, or what is good in life, and makes you happy.

You pointed out that it's lucky we have WW too! We've both discovered an excitement here that we're hard pressed to find in the outside world! I'm so happy to have found this site, and these forums. It makes such a difference to be able to come here and vent if I need it, get support when I need it, and just laugh at all the silliness and drama that comes with planning a wedding. I never expected this. Now I think of you all as my "wedding friends." Now let's get out of our funk and have some fun!!

I know how you feel! I was looking over our guest list yesterday and realized I’m literally only inviting two girlfriends of mine that aren’t already bridesmaids, or aren’t the girlfriends of my fiancé’s friends. FH is the guy who LOVED high school and is still best friends with everyone, meanwhile, I never had a big group of friends since all mine were spread out, and we’ve since grown apart over the years. Anyway, it bummed me out a little to see but we have to remember everyone who is invited are people we love and who love us back. Plus, you and your new husband will be too busy having fun to notice the different friend discrepancy!

I'm sorry you feel that way. Is there anyone you can talk to or do final planning stuff with? Maybe a mom or sister? I'm sure the bridesmaids are excited even if they haven't reached out, they may think you are busy with wedding stuff too. Do any of his groomsmen have girlfriends or wives? You won't be 6th wheeling if they are coming!

View Quoted Comment Only 1 of them has a girlfriend and she lives out of town and isn’t coming in for the wedding, so basically no lol. I do talk to my mom about a lot, and FH too. And I do have some friends to talk to, it’s just not nearly at the same level as FH’s friends and I know it’s not productive to compare, but it just makes me sad :/

View Quoted Comment I’m so sorry that happened! I don’t think my situation was like that, because this friend is usually terrible at communication but it’s gotten even worse over the past year. When we first got engaged she was going on and on about how much she wanted to help and even giving me ideas for what “we” were going to do, and then since that conversation she basically just vanished and that was almost a year ago lol. I’ve talked to her maybe half a dozen times when she told me she got her dress, when she’d be coming in for the weekend, I wished her a happy birthday (she didn’t wish me one on mine), etc. just disappointing :/

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I'm so sorry! I'm sure as the day gets closer you'll feel more celebrated & when guests start arriving!

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I'm sorry you feel like that too! I hope once we get to this weekend I'll be feeling better about it.