Discouraged by fiancé’s attitude towards planning

Don't plan anything else until he shares input. If he wants to get married he needs to contribute. Ask him to pick something he's interested in to research: food/drink, music, etc.

It takes two to get married, so it takes two to plan.

This is what I told DH, and every time he freaked out about not knowing what to do, I reminded him that there was a planning book AT HIS FEET. (Ok, once or twice I dropped it ON HIM.)

If your FH doesn't want anything to do with planning, tell him to pick a day he's free and make an appointment at the courthouse, because that's what he's going to get. Chances are, there will suddenly be something he really wants in a wedding day. If there's NOT, then the two of you need to sit down and figure out what you are both comfortable with.

Think about it this way - this is the first HUGE thing you two are working on together. If his response is to push all the work onto you, what will that mean if you buy a home? Have kids? Get a pet? Travel a lot? Move cross-country? Someone gets sick?

Tell him to pick the parts he cares about, and those are his responsibility. Either he deals with those things, or they don't happen. (And yes, that means his attire, too.)

My hubby also initially said “it’s the bride’s day” but after I explained to him I was lonely planning “my” wedding and that a wedding is “our” celebration and story, he understood. So, with a bottle of wine we brainstormed ideas and from there he was 💯 committed and excited. But then both of us wanted to be boss. 😆 So we decided if we disagreed, I had final say on our destination wedding and he had final say on our local reception. 😂


Some guys might only want a say in the venue, food, music. But it’s not fair for him to get mad or annoyed at you mentioning the wedding. He does need to be in it with you, even if you need to alter the budget so it makes both of you happy. ♥️ ♥️