Planning a shower and etiquette

Is there a nice brunch restaurant where you can reserve a room or a patio? Or an event room at a hotel.

I just had my bridal shower today. I have heard of bridesmaids chipping in for the shower and some of my bridesmaids actually did help - $60 from 4 of them. My shower had about 25 people and my MOH spent a lot of her own money fkr the decorations, and my mom also paid $250 for the room where we had it. $100 doesnt sound terrible honestly, especially if it helps pay for wherever youre having the shower in addition to food and decor and what not. If somebody doesnt have that money perhaps they can help contribute what they can and offer to help set up and clean up the shower and maybe with other little shower related things. That is a great gesture and can help just as much as cash!

As for suggestions for where, we had mine at a hotel in one of their conference rooms. It can be a cheaper way to host and accomodate a larger guest count without having to pay a decent price per person. Think of smaller hotels though, not something that has actual rooms for weddings and what not (we did Country Inn and Suites for reference, so something perhaps like that?). My FH mom is throwing one for me closer to the wedding for his family since most live out of state, and is doing it at Uncle Julios. So you can always look into restaurants, i would just try to keep in mind that they may offer a package of some sort for hosting there which can get pricey depending on how you might want it. Restaurants in general are a great option, but you can also look into bars too, and maybe even a country club, just keep in mind the price. Look also to see if you have any local places that specialize in “party spaces” like Mixin Mingle or something along those lines (just the space and tables provided, thats it usually but it could be the way to go). Best of luck!

In my opinion $100 a person is a lot to ask for. I would price out different options and present them to her. Also as a bridesmaid I have pitched in to help pay for the bridal shower. Just remember if your going to ask the bridesmaids for help that you ask what they are comfortable or can contribute because not everyone has the same budget.

If you don’t have a venue how do you know how much to ask each person for?

If you’re planning it you have to pay for it. By all means you can ask the other girls or whomever but not all of them may be able to drop however much money. Ask what their budget is and if they’re comfortable ask them to pitch in what they’re comfortable with after you book everything and have a total count.

I suggest local restaurants with a private room. Honestly if you can only afford a community center (restaurants can be expensive!!) or someone’s house then do it, it’s not for her to say. She should be grateful you’re throwing her shower

Are you saying they’re asking you to pay $100 per guest? Or asking for the MOH and bridesmaids to chip in $100 each?

I dont know many details of my shower (it’s today) but I know my MOH found multiple options and priced it with my girls and they all chipped in. It’s 4 of them all together. I wouldn’t want them to spend too much on my shower. I think it’s fair and great they all decided to help but there’d be a limit. Like $50 and you’re responsible for food, $50 and you’re responsible for decor..that way they know what their money is going towards

That sounds excessive.

I'm not sure if you are saying the hosts are paying $100 total or $100/guest (so $4,000 total). The former doesn't sound like a lot, depending how many hosts there are. I just hosted a baby shower and spent about $1k for 45 people. It was nothing fancy, but still very cute and fun.

No one should be requesting a gift, but I for sure think if you attend a shower and don't give a gift that might look bad. I always give a gift even if I'm hosting the shower. Usually a bigger gift if I'm hosting because it's usually someone I'm closer to.

Who is demanding $100? If you're hosting, you decide where it is and how much it costs. How would your sister know how much it'll cost if you don't have a venue yet?

I've found Italian restaurants to be the most affordable budget-wise for a lunch meal. Breakfast/brunch can be affordable too, but a lot of the nice restaurants (aka not a diner) charge a decent premium.

I would still give a gift even if I was hosting the shower (probably a nicer gift than if I was just attending), but I certainly would not expect to be told to give a gift.

$100 per person? For 40 people? That does sound like a lot! That's $4,000 (which is what I'm paying my caterer for 110 people). There is less expensive options out there for sure!

I'm paying $110/person...for my actual wedding, $100/person for a shower does seem excessive. My shower is going to be on Cinco de Mayo so I told my mom and MOH that I genuinely wanted Chipotle catering lol.

I have no idea what my bridesmaids are paying per person--I assume you mean per bridesmaid, because otherwise, you're talking actual wedding pricing. If I were asked to shell out $100 and there wasn't even a venue yet, I'd honestly be side-eyeing.

All I know is that one of the bridesmaids is hosting at her house, and she also let slip the general theme. I'm so surprised and thankful that the girls are taking this upon themselves that I'd honestly NEVER think to impose my own stylistic guidelines. They know me well enough. It would be nice if your sister felt the same.... I always heard it was tacky for the bride to be involved in her own shower?

My MOH is hosting my bridal party and all my bridesmaids pitched in 250 to pay for the party. We are having a weekend in New Orleans. I dont think its excessive.

I paid like $165 as a bridesmaid for the rental of the restaurant room we had my friend's bridal shower at which was basically the food/drink for the amount of people there. Personally I bought a cheap gift then since I was hosting. I was so mad about it at the time cuz I had just gotten out of college and didn't have a good job and she has 2 older sisters and a mom I thought could've paid for it. I didn't plan anything else though as far as games and decor the sisters and MOH did that. I don't think $100 is that bad now when push comes to shove but when I say I got a cheap gift then I mean $20-30 I spent since I forked over almost $200.

My other friend, her MIL planned it all, in which we didn't have to spend anything on for decor or food for the backyard party. We were able to split a nice high ticket item on her registry. You could use a fire hall or a park would be really great and cheap. I wouldn't see having to spend $100 each then unless you're splitting the whole cost of food drink, games, decor among everyone n the bridal party and the moms or family aren't paying for most of it.

$100 is ALOT. I would have to politely decline to come. $50-$60 is a good amount.