Divorced family

It sounds like you’re coming from a good place, but it’s really not up to you to have that conversation with them. It’s up to your fiancé. I am the one with the divorced parents and family chaos and would never ever expect (or want) for my husband to get involved in it. He’s there to support me in what I do in how I deal with my family. I’m sorry that the tension gives you anxiety but it is not your place to try and fix it.

I’m one who has divorced parents they hate eachother so I’m putting my dad step mom with my uncle grandma and my mom with my aunt and her side of the family

As a child of divorce and parents on not good terms (the last time they saw each other was my college graduation, the next time will be my wedding), here is what i always expect from my separate families and would suggest for your fiancé to mention to her family:

Remind the family that this day is about you and your fiancé getting married, not your mom and dad and whatever transpired between them in the past. While you don't expect everyone to be happy and love each other, you DO expect everyone to act like adults and be CORDIAL/POLITE. Ask that they don't make you feel bad for the past decisions of your parents and remember that this day is supposed to be a celebration of the life to come in the future.

Hope that helps

I'm the one with divorced parents and a mother from The Bad Place.

We solved this problem by making her so angry about the invitations, that she didn't come, and we have seen neither hide nor hair of her since 2 1/2 months before the wedding! SCORE. (To be specific, her name was not on the invites, which made her upset? When she hadn't paid for or planned the wedding? And then she threw a tantrum for the benefit of my cousins. They also did not come.)

...Ok, so if your FH isn't yet sold on the no-contact take, then ... this is his to handle, with you flanking.

In other words, he has to talk to BOTH sides of his family, and reiterate that everyone needs to be *polite*. For about 36 hours. And you need to be there with him, to back him up, defend him, or pull him out if need be.

But, seriously, if the relationships are so toxic - know that NOT inviting people is a wonderful option.

I’m the same way except I’m the one with the divorced parents.. we’re just going to have carefully chosen seating arrangements and I will have a little chat with my parents separately prior to let them know what to expect and what I expect from them in turn - basically they’re both important but please be polite for a day and I’m considering we can do separate photos for them but not sure yet. My mom is the drama starter but my dad is nice however he’ll be there with his new gf and two ex wives.. you can do your best and put a sibling, trusted family member or bridesmaid or groomsman in charge of keeping an eye on them in case they get a little wild.. good luck !

Hi! I just got engaged and am beginning the "Wedding Planning" journey and am face to face with my life long dilemma regarding my divorced parents. My mom and dad divorced many years ago, 25 years ago or so. And had a horrible traumatic divorce that continued to cause drama my entire adult life. My mom remarried and my step-dad HATES my biological dad. They have always been enemies basically. My mom hasn't been in the presence of or even spoken to my dad in decades. This wedding might be the first and only ever time they are all in the same space and it's overpowering my ability to imagine the day as a happy peaceful day. All I can think about is what big of a deal it would be to have them all be in the same room for the first time in my entire life, and how emotional it will be for my mom to see him again after ALL of these years. And one of my biggest questions of all, is who walks me down the aisle?! I can't have just one of my dads do it, my biological dad is my real dad obviously, but my step-dad very much raised me. Both would be crushed to have the other one be chosen to give me away, and the idea of having them both do so, one on each arm, sounds HORRIBLY uncomfortable for everyone.

I truly don't know how to handle this. I know I want a wedding, and I want everyone to be able to celebrate and focus on the true meaning of the day in a genuine way, not "pretend" to be okay and happy even though in their heads they are all stressed and uncomfortable. I'm stumped as to how to go about this.