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Amber Lynn
Devoted April 2010

Divorced Parents and Drama of walking down the aisle

Amber Lynn, on February 24, 2009 at 10:40 PM Posted in Planning 1 8

My parents are divorced and not on the best terms. I mentioned that my dad was going to walk me down the aisle and this threw my mom for a loop. Does anyone have a suggestion of how to smooth things over and maybe an ideal of different things to do.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Shari, on May 3, 2022 at 3:37 PM
  • lauralei39
    Dedicated August 2009
    lauralei39 ·
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    I would hope that your mom could get over her snit about your dad walking you down the aisle for your sake. She really should put her own feelings on the back burner so that your day is drama-free. If it's important to you to have your dad walk you down the aisle, this is what you should have happen. Maybe you can have your mom stand when the officiant says "Who gives this woman in marriage" and she AND your dad can say "We do" because no matter what has happened in the past, there is no disputing that they are still and always will be your parents. Would that help your mom feel included? Maybe you could stop by her on your way up the aisle and give her a rose, too. Then she is included in that part of the ceremony.

    Good luck, whatever you decide. Congratulations!

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  • Juliette Senior
    Juliette Senior ·
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    Congratulations on your engagement. Your parents have your best interest at heart. Though they are not on good terms they only want the best for you and nothing would make them happier than seeing you on your wedding day. I would suggest that your dad walk you down the aisle and your mother be seated before the wedding party processional. She can still play a major role by getting up and giving you a kiss when it is time to "Give You Away". If your mom is remarried you can even consider having her husband walk her down the aisle (if you guys get along). This may eliviate her concerns with your father walking you down the aisle. Another suggestion is to have both of your parents walk you down the aisle. Before you make a final decision I would sit with both of them (seperately Smiley smile) and remind them that this is your wedding day. You need both of their support. This is a memory that will last for a lifetime Express to them how important it is for both of them to be present.

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  • R
    Just Said Yes August 2009
    Rachael ·
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    I went to a wedding when i was younger where both the parents walked their daughter down the aisle ever since then i wanted it the same, maybe your mother would like that!

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  • BeckiO
    VIP June 2013
    BeckiO ·
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    I'm sorry you're going through this, but just remember you still have over a year to come up with a happy compromise. If your mom is that close to you, is it possible to have him walk you down half way by himself and both of them the other half? I've seen this done before. I know in Jewish Traditional Weddings, both parents walk the Bride down the isle. You should let her know it is a tradition you want to follow, dad walking his daughter down the isle and it's nothing against her, it's a Wedding Tradition you wish to follow.

    My parents have been divorced for a while, dad walked my sister down the isle. I'm doing things differently that when the "mothers" come down the isle, it's actually going to be dad and stepmom together, hubby's parents together, since mom will be a Maid of Honor and standing next to me, having twin nephews one on each side walk her down the isle, and hubby and I walk down together.

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  • monarchmom
    Expert September 2008
    monarchmom ·
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    First let me say I have an ex husband that I loathe & a 21 yr old daughter! I would NEVER tell my daughter what she is going to do at HER wedding! Second I think your Mom needs to get over herslf! She needs to remember this IS your father, SHE chose him you did not! OK so their marriage didn't work out, yes that's awful but the man is still your father for pete sakes! Do you really want a different option? If you do then have both walk you down (if she can even cope with that), or when the question is asked who gives this woman have her say her father & I do, or have a family unity ceremony & include her OR if YOU just want your Dad to walk you down & this is the picture you always had in your head then tell her to deal with it. I really feel for you & wonder why divorced parents feel the need to stress their children out. Best of luck you poor thing.

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  • Laura
    Master May 2009
    Laura ·
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    You serioulsy have every right to have your own father walk you down the aisle if that's what you want. She may have divorced him and he is not her husband anymore but he will always be your father. My FH's mom tries to give him the same guilt trip. Since he will have his father in the groom's suite with him she sees that as a direct betrayal of her. It has nothing to do with her! This is between your father and you. You could have a talk with her and explain that you don't want to hurt her feelings but this is what you want and he will always be your father.But really I think she totally needs to knock it off, stop being so immature and realize this has nothing to do with her. I feel for ya. You shouldn't be caught in the middle. Good Lcuk!

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  • BeckiO
    VIP June 2013
    BeckiO ·
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    I have to agree with everyone else's posts too, he is and always be your father. You have every right if you want him walking you down the isle. What father doesn't dream of when their Baby Girls get married to walk them down the isle? Your mom needs to get over it and accept that is what you want. I feel bad for all the brides who's fathers have passed away and would have loved for their fathers to walk them down the isle and can't. My aunt told me if that was one thing she could have done since she was the only daughter my grandpa had, she would have loved to have him walk her down the isle (and she's still unwed). I would have honestly cried at her wedding if he ever had the chance to do so seeing my grandpa walk her down the isle. That man was so special to me I would have even loved giving him the honor when my hubby and I got married almost 2 years ago (he passed away a month and a few days before we got married). I didn't even care that he had 7 Weddings in his life time(8 wives

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  • Shari
    Shari ·
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    What if that dad is a abusive parent. By law was convicted so does that change things?
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