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Allie
Beginner September 2018

diy Catering

Allie, on December 18, 2017 at 11:52 AM

Posted in Do It Yourself 175

FH and I are thinking about DIY catering if we find a venue that allows it. We do have a lot of guests but it would be a lot cheaper if we did it ourselves. We were thinking something simple like Spaghetti and Alfredo with salad and garlic bread. I have been to a wedding reception where they did...

FH and I are thinking about DIY catering if we find a venue that allows it. We do have a lot of guests but it would be a lot cheaper if we did it ourselves. We were thinking something simple like Spaghetti and Alfredo with salad and garlic bread. I have been to a wedding reception where they did this, so I know its not impossible. I also know that it takes a lot of time and coordinating, plus people who are willing to help to make this work successfully. I just know it would save a lot of money for us (which would be great because we have a smaller budget). What are your thoughts? Are any of you doing this or have experience with this?

175 Comments

  • Melissa
    Expert June 2018
    Melissa ·
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    I did this at my first wedding because I didn't know better and no one had the guts to correct me. We did spaghetti, rolls, and Caesar salad. I didn't see 3 very important guests the whole time because they were too busy working to keep food out and warm. It was terrible hosting that thankful I now know better. I'm an amazing cook but preparing for that number of people made for a mediocre meal. But I guess I was lucky that none of my guests got sick.
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  • Amanduh
    Devoted January 2019
    Amanduh ·
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    If you can pull it off this sounds like a great idea. I've been to so many wedding where the spread was subpar italian from a caterer, so good homemade food sounds AWESOME.

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  • Heather
    Expert September 2018
    Heather ·
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    This is what I'm doing and it's what my sister did at her wedding.
    At my sister's wedding everyone brought food.
    Then at mine my mom and my guy's parents are cooking the food.
    It' saving money
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  • T
    Just Said Yes July 2018
    Tasheka ·
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    Very judgmental on your part. I get what you want to give your guest but there isn't a right or wrong way to have a wedding

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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated April 2018
    Elizabeth ·
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    I am so sorry that people are still being so rude in the comments. I had actually left wedding wire for several months due to these kinds of comments. When I logged back in to check a vendor's reviews, I saw that the forums had new community guidelines and everything I'd seen so far was much more kind and respectful... until this thread.

    You see all the people that are saying things like "I'm not sure this is the best idea because..." or "I would reconsider this." THAT'S how you express your opinion respectfully! All this sarcasm and saltiness in UNCALLED FOR. Period. You don't treat complete strangers with that kind of tone and attitude. You just don't.


    OP, I am so sorry that this website's ugliness came back out on your thread. I really am. In actual answer to your post...

    I feel your dilemma. Luckily my FH does not also have a ginormous family, but after putting ALL mutual friends on "his" side, I still more than DOUBLED his number of invites. And I barely invited any friends of my own (I don't even HAVE many friends of my own to invite, most of them are mutuals) and only a small handful of family friends.

    Pushing your wedding date back may help you have more venue options. I booked my venue over a year in advance... and someone else was already booked for the day after me. We ended up finding a BEAUTIFUL venue that we both ADORE and that is extremely well-priced. Total venue and rental costs are going to be under $2,500. Their rental package is only $450 and includes ALL linens, chairs, centerpiece items, two DOCs, etc. We looked at LOT of places and couldn't find anything in budget before a coworker asked if I'd looked at this place.

    As for food, that was even harder. I had damn near completely given up on catering. I was almost in tears. Everyone wanted ridiculous amounts of money for threadbare brunch menus. I decided to search one more time before I started actually crying. I found this place on wedding wire that I'd probably skipped over 3-4 times in my searching because it just sounded so WEIRD- a "5 star" restaurant INSIDE a still-working gas station?? I clicked on it cuz I needed the laugh, tbh. Looking further into it, it had been featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Drives. FH got curious since he likes the show and we decided to go eat there. Turns out the food is AMAZING. It really is 5 star level food, at 3 star prices, inside a working gas station! The chef then went out of his way to modify a recipe for me (gluten free eater), and what they quoted me for 100 people was 3k less than what everyone else was quoting me and twice as much food as what everyone else was offering.

    What I'm trying to say is that trying to find affordable but still really great venues and catering can take more time and searching than just planning a "regular" wedding for "normal" family sizes. You should be able to celebrate your big day with everyone you love. You shouldn't have to invite ONLY family just to be able to afford it. Nor should you have to cut some family in order to make room for some friends. BUT finding those options are harder. Perhaps giving yourself some more time would help you be able to find an option that will allow you to afford hosting everyone you want to invite.

    Another thing you might consider is asking for some family to go in together to pay for the catering as their gift to you. I've heard about a lot of families offering to pay for various parts of the wedding as a gift. Maybe your mom or someone could "suggest" it to the rest of the family like, "Hey, I've noticed that Ally is really stressing about catering costs. Maybe everyone could pitch in for that as our family's wedding gift?" (That way YOU'RE not the one asking since that could be considered tacky.)

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  • B
    Savvy May 2018
    Bri ·
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    First of all, some people are stuck up and RUDE. Second, if you know how to cook properly and keep food warm/cold properly then nobody will get sick. That's ridiculous and basic knowledge.

    ANYWAY...

    I say if you are confident in your cooking skills, your venue allows it and you have the necessary help then do it. I AM and think it's a splendid idea.

    Good luck!

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  • Kim
    Dedicated June 2018
    Kim ·
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    As many pp have said, some of the responses are so not nice. My FH is a chef. All of his GM are chefs. FH has been in at least 3 of the GM weddings where he cooked. So for our wedding, the GM are all cooking. Granted, they are all professional chefs and do mass amounts of food prep/serving every day. I've had 1 person out of everyone I've told say "Eh, is that really a good idea?" Yes, for us, it is. It's what they all do for each other, part of showing their love.

    I say go for it! If we lived by each other, I'd come help you out (and have the FH come too Smiley smile ).

    Smiley heart

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  • M
    Savvy October 2018
    Mindy ·
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    We are also self catering. I am sure you know or can learn about the safe zones of food temperatures. Keep the hot hot and the cold cold. Make things that can be prepared ahead and stored easily and safely and you'll be fine. No alcohol at our reception either. I'm looking forward to sharing this wonderful day with friends and family and creating fond memories. Alcohol is fine but it can also cause problems for some. We would rather everyone have fun and remain sober than worry for thier safety as they drive to their home or hotel after. The way we look at it if someone is upset about the home cooked meal or the lack of alcohol then maybe they weren't people we should have invited.
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  • Sally
    Expert June 2018
    Sally ·
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    My fiance set the budget of 5,000 for our venue/food/alcohol and our guest list is 155. We ended up finding a county run golf course that would accommodate the number of guests invited for 2000 and allowed us to do outside catering. We chose BBQ because it's a summer wedding and there were a number of places around us that would only charge 12-14 per person. We had originally talked about doing most of the food ourselves but I think it would make the wedding too stressful and I could just see myself working myself into a tizzy trying to get everything ready. The only thing I'm making is a 9 inch stacked cake for me and him to cut and everyone elses cake is going to be a sheet cake that will get cut in the kitchen. For alcohol we have to buy the beer through the golf course (which is like 200 a keg) and then we're just going to have a big bucket of ice or something with champagne and everyone can serve themselves most likely. We do have some concerns on certain attendees having free run of alcohol but we'll see.

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  • MrsBanks
    Expert April 2018
    MrsBanks ·
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    Sooooo many people are going to tell you not to do this, so im not going to bother reading the comments in the thread. What I will say is, if this is going to help your budgget, GO FOR IT. I know its frowned upon, and there can be health concerns and etc. but almost every wedding ive been to, was self catered. and the food was great. the few weddings ive been to that had it catered, the food sucked.

    If you can do it the right way, i say definately do it. wear gloves when preparing food, make sure its stored properly at the right temperature. get some warmers so the food doesnt get cold during the reception, and be as sanitary as possible. on the day i would assign jobs to someone you trust, and have them be in charge of food. that way you and FH dont have to worry about it on your big day.

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  • Private Users Shy
    Dedicated August 2018
    Private Users Shy ·
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    You might want to push the date back or invited less ppl.
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  • H
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Hannah ·
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    Definitely don't listen to those that are saying don't do it. that type of catering clearly didn't/ wouldn't work for them. this is your wedding. first and foremost it is your wedding. this should be a one time thing. so do what works for you and wont break the bank. i personally am going to DIY cater. idc if i have to cook myself. I'm going to do foods like rigatoni that can be put in a crock pot on heat. so they would just need checked on and stirred occasionally. no one has to cook the day of. so no one will be missing anything.

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  • Ms. Queenie
    Savvy March 2019
    Ms. Queenie ·
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    I know this is off topic, but at this point you are probably getting sick of notifications on this thread that you posted over 100 comments ago, lol. As a busy bride, I get it...just know that there is ALWAYS the option to turn overused threads off somewhere in your notifications...and to keep people's rude and stuck up comments from blowing up your inbox. Smiley smile I've seen several brides on here do it and I've done too from time to time as a way of telling them all to shove it. Smiley winking


    Screw the haters!!!

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  • FutureMrsR-M
    Expert August 2020
    FutureMrsR-M ·
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    Probably the biggest concern is, can you and the people planning on helping you, physically cook food for and serve all your guests in a timely manner? If no, scrap the idea. Secondly and maybe even more important than my first point, do you want you, your spouse, your parents and your in-laws to be spending your wedding day cooking and serving food? Catering is a very time intensive activity, but if cooking for and serving your guests is important to you, go for it. You should also consider that you have to eat at some point too. The more people you have, the more complicated this gets. I’ve been to a couple weddings that had almost a potluck style dinner where lots of family members contributed to food (very close knit and very poor families), but it was never the bride and groom serving.

    If you are really serious about this, you should have a meeting with one or more caterers to ask how they do wedding catering. That will give you the best insight as to whether it’s feasible. Good luck!
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  • L
    Just Said Yes July 2019
    Lexiana ·
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    I do not think it is poor hosting at all. I would like to do the same thing, and just because someone thinks it may be poor hosting does not mean their opinion is true! It is your wedding-- you gotta do it how YOU want it. Smiley smile

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  • L
    Just Said Yes July 2019
    Lexiana ·
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    That is extremely judgmental. There is no reason to be so unkind.

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  • C
    Dedicated July 2019
    Cierra ·
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    My FH and I are actually caterers and considered catering our big day but decided against it just because of the hassle and stress it would be. I do not think it is poor hosting at all. Your wedding guests are coming to your wedding hopefully because they love and care about you , so I don't think anyone would turn their nose up at the fact that you made the food lol If they do care then they aren't good people. I think it is hilarious that people would consider that poor hosting. I guess everyone has different "goals" for the wedding, maybe those people are more focused on impressing their guests then they are celebrating their love.

    WORK YOUR BUDGET!!!

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    Why did anyone bring this zombie thread back??
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  • Bridget
    VIP August 2019
    Bridget ·
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    I would double check if this is even an option. Many places you need a licensed caterer due to the health risks that come with not heating/ cooling food properly. Personally I wouldn't want to deal with all that commotion among trying to enjoy myself. I say keep searching i'm sure the perfect venue Is out there for you!

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  • Bridget
    VIP August 2019
    Bridget ·
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    OMG another one from December! LOL how are all of these old threads getting reserected?!

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