Do Bridesmaids ‘have’ to attend Bridal Shower....

Just say you can't make it because you have to work. If she doesn't understand then she has a a problem.

Just tell you her you cant go to the shower. That's easy. The rest of it...sounds like they dodnt gwt the paperwork sorted for st regis ro ge the actually ceremony.

Just tell her you're sorry but you can't get out of work. Anyone who can't understand that isn't a good friend

Say you’re sorry but because of work commitments you can’t make it. Also I have heard of people legalising their DW marriage locally if laws in the country they are having it in are difficult to work with.

It's not typical for the bride to throw her own shower so if she did that then she shouldn't be surprised if u can't attend. In regards to the wedding, many times the marriage done in another country isn't recognized in the US and must be done civally here as well.

Attending pre-wedding events isn't a requirement. She can feel however she wants to feel about you not attending the shower, but you were given short notice and that's just the way the cookie crumbles. She'll be okay.

Ok well wish me luck! I don’t want to upset her. I do know she made changes for the bridal shower a few days after finding out her MOH was planning one for her at MOH home. She wasn’t happy about this location. Made changes immediately so everyone could dress up in color cordnation for photos with a beautiful background. This is another reason I feel bad because I know she wants the photos for memories, but I guess she will have plenty from the wedding! Thank you so much for your opinion.

There is no need for a bridesmaid to attend any or all prewedding events. It is poor social manners for a bride to make demands on other people, their time and money. She is not a queen and you her subjects. You are friends. It is also quite rude for a bride to throw a party whose point is to get presents for her self, or to stick her nose in to plans a shower hostess has made, and rearrange them to suit herself. I feel sorry for the MOH, and the rest of you. There must be something nice about this person, at other times, or you would not all have agreed to be in the wedding party. But her bossing you and MOH is unacceptable behavior. And her expecting you all to assemble to be props for her pictures is awful. She is behaving very badly, and someone needs to let her know she is clearly wrong, so she does not alienate more people before her wedding day. I was once in a wedding party where 5 of 5 attendants quit because of bride's behavior, her sense of being able to require anyone to do anything she wanted , to make her vision come true. No one saw it coming. But she lost 5 friendships, and because her sister and 1st and only cousin refused to fill in after we all quit, she banned them from coming to her wedding. The fact that she has spent money on your dresses, hair, etc. does not buy you. She wanted the stuff, and chose it. You cannot be bought that way, you are not objects, you are people, and she needs a reality adjustment

If you work and can't make it, I don't think that's a crazy reason to miss it. If it were me, I'd still send a gift or offer to contribute to hosting it somehow (food, decor, etc.)