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Just Said Yes December 2022

Do i also invite my biological father’s new step kids?

Donnareen, on June 7, 2021 at 11:38 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
Hello, I’m not really sure if I have to or should.


I am not close to my biological father, I haven’t seen him for over 10 years. He lives in California and I’m in NY. He remarried to his 3rd wife in 2018 or 2019, I’m not sure because I wasn’t invited or informed lol anyway, his 3rd wife has children of her own and around the same ages as my half siblings. My half siblings are from my biological father and stepmom (his 2nd marriage). I am actually pretty close to this stepmom and my half siblings. They are definitely getting invited to my wedding.
I have also decided to extend an invite to my biological father and give him a plus one to bring his new wife. I am not sure if I should also invite his new step kids? I don’t even know their names. But since they are children and teenagers and the same age as my half siblings I’m conflicted... would his new wife take offense if I don’t invite her kids whom I’ve never even met? Should I invite them and hope they don’t come? They would have to fly across the country so maybe that’s enough to dissuade them?
Note: his new wife has tried to reach out to me since they married. I didn’t reply to her because she sent me one of those “Send this to the next 10 people if you want good luck” chain letters and felt it was impersonal as a first message to receive from her.
I don’t know what other information I should include about the situation...

5 Comments

Latest activity by devotedlydavis, on June 8, 2021 at 6:09 AM
  • Courtney
    Expert September 2022
    Courtney ·
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    Simple answer. No.

    Don't feel obligated to invite him either, but if you do you need to invite the wife.

    You're under no requirement to invite his new step-kids even if they're young and Bio Dad and Wife are traveling from far away. They can leave them with family or chose not to come.

    If he gets upset that his ex-wife and other children are invited but his step-children aren't that's on him.

    Also, holy hell that's absolutely not an appropriate first message and says a lot about her as a person.

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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    I wouldn’t invite the kids. You have no relationship with them. She shouldn’t get offended if you don’t invite the kids, but hey people get offended at the smallest thing so who knows how she’ll react.
    Even if she gets offended though, I don’t think that should impact you since you don’t even have a relationship with her anyways.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    No I wouldn’t invite any of them. Are you only inviting your father because you feel obligated? If that is the case, and you aren’t close, then scratch him from your guest list. You should only invite those you can’t imagine the day without. Just sharing blood relations doesn’t entitle anyone to an invitation, especially if there is no emotional relationship.
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  • D
    Just Said Yes December 2022
    Donnareen ·
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    I know what you mean. And I have struggled with this decision. I have no hate for my biological father, at least not anymore. We are not close but that’s not to say we never will be. I am pretty open to anything. Years from now, I would still want him there. He’s not walking me down the aisle or anything, he’s just another guest. And thank you for your comment, I am definitely leading towards not inviting the step kids!!
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  • devotedlydavis
    Expert March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
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    I wouldn’t invite the kids. If you’ve never met them, I don’t think they would be expected to be invited.
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