Do i have to invite my soon to be brother in laws girlfriend?

I’m normally a huge proponent of inviting all significant others no matter what but I don’t think I would invite someone who punched me in the face. I think being scared for your safety is one of the only exceptions.

View Quoted Comment She’s very young and just a lot of drama to begin with. What worries me the most is if I’m forced to invite her, we have an open bar..it’s not like she won’t find a way to drink, even if I tell the bartender not to serve her. I also see her drinking and acting like an idiot..that’s what I’m really afraid of.. not sure on how to really talk about it or bring up that she isn’t no longer invited.

You dont have to bring up that she isnt invited, just only put the brothers name on the invite. Also try to include that he only has one seat reserved for him. If he asks why shes not invited, I'm pretty sure a "she punched me in the face" is sufficient. Its definitely okay for you to not invite her.

I would still have her just to keep the peace but have FH talk to his brother and tell him if she starts any drama at the wedding he has to take her home right away no exceptions.

If you uninvite it's it makes you look like the bad guy even though she started the issues. If you put the responsibility on her and your FH brother the family will be on your side if she gets out of hand.

Also you said she's young is she old enough to drink? If not I would have FH threaten to have her arrested if she drinks at the wedding.

Um no. You shouldn’t invite someone to your wedding who has punched you in the face. His brother should be understanding and if he’s not he can get lost.

View Quoted Comment She is old enough to drink legally but knowing his brother he’ll be 3 sheets to the wind too so if anything happens it’ll quickly become out of control with the both of them drinking. It’s just something that’s happened in the past. She becomes really loud and obnoxious..this eventually leads to some emotional break down episode and then either she calms down or goes bizerk!

I would not invite her! She could ruin the whole day!

View Quoted Comment

Urg that's not good...

Do FH parents know about her past behavior?

I would speak to FMIL and FFIL and see what their advice with her is and if they are agreeable don't have her there and have FH tell his brother sorry but she punched my wife in the face so she can't come.

You don’t have to invite anyone who has abused you. Period. I am curious though why you think her apology was insincere.

No, someone that had behaved violently does not need to be invited. I would not bring up an invitation to her and if your brother in law mentions it I would speak to him with FH and let him know that because of her past actions you both feel strongly that she will not be include in the day.

I would ahgree about not inviting her. I surely wouldnt want someone there that punched me in the face. If you feel like you have to invite her maybe considering mentioning to her or the brother tht you are willimg to let her come if she doesnt drink because you dont want to deal with the drama or make your guests uncomfortable.

Do not invite her. When someone is assaultive, physically and verbally, to set her up with alcohol in a party is not just unnecessary, it is a real risk to others. What if she takes a swing at someone else, and they loose an eye, or stumble back and hit their head, seriously hurt? No one can tell you to invite her. Miss Manners would say, Don't. Imagine starting your marriage with 20-30% of your income for 10 years going for legal bills and paying damages, because someone gets hurt, and they say, your party, you bear half of responsibility, knowing she is assaultive when drinking, and inviting her to an event where other adults abandon drinks to dance and such. You have yourself to worry about. And your guests. And liability. I would not invite my dearest relatives under these circumstances. Brother has no right to insist anyone abusive to you come to your event. The fact he sees her still likely says, he does not see others are responsible for what they do drunk, and thinks no one is responsible for curbing their intake. Part of his drinking to excess. Don't let his dysfunctional relationship become yours. If his parents insist, say NO. Not under any circumstances.

I wouldnt, if FBIL questions it, explain you arent comfortable around her. Especially depending on your liquor arrangements

View Quoted Comment This excatly. I would have you FH talked with your FBIL about how her behavior is beyond inappropriate (and dangerous) and that because of that she will not be welcomed at the wedding.

I totally agree with Kelly. Normally I’d say absolutely you have to invite her even if they’d only been together a month. BUT I would not invite her in this situation. And who cares about drama or keeping the peace because technically inviting her is causing just as much risk for drama as is not inviting her. I would only invite the brother and if (when) you are confronted about it I’d just be very clear and straight forward (and as diplomatic as possible) in saying no she is absolutely not allowed at our wedding (and then definitely tell your wedding planner and site manager to make sure she doesn’t show up Hahahah).

Oh. Also, if you technically already invited her, I don’t see anything wrong with uninviting her. She’s dangerous and politeness and etiquette don’t really matter anymore.

I agree with previous posters as this being the exception to inviting significant others. I would not want anyone that has physically assaulted me at my wedding. Put only your brother’s name and we have reserved 1 seat in your honor on the invite. It also wouldn’t hurt to have security checking the guest list at the door

Sarah! Do not invite her! No way! She punched you? NO.

I would absolutely NOT invite her!

I agree with all PP's here. I would absolutely not invite her!