Do or Ditch: Prenups

We aren't signing one. I asked my fiance if he wanted to (especially since his salary is substantially more than mine), but he didn't want to.

We won’t sign one

I can understand that there are some circumstances where it makes sense, ie a family business, children from a previous marriage or relationship, or an inheritance or very significant pre-marital assets, though these are usually protected anyway unless commingled. But in general, I see marriage as a what's mine is yours proposition. If someone had ever asked me to sign just because our incomes were currently uneven or if the terms included what was accumulated after marriage, then I would have to think seriously about moving forward.

We're going to sign one. I don't think we'd need one, especially because if we were to divorce I think it would be amicable. Not that I expect us to divorce, but I want us to be prepared and to protect ourselves. Money can make people hostile.

We did not. If one of us had significant assets prior to getting married or significant personal debts, then maybe. But neither of us owned a business or property or anything, so it wouldn’t even make sense for us. However, I can see why certain couples may want to, even as simple a reason as not wanting your partner responsible for your student loan debt or something.

Fun note, prenups don't actually hold much power in some states. Some friends of ours got married before us and wanted a prenup, but after learning it really doesn't do anything in this state, they skipped it. So we never discussed it since it wasn't really an option.

I see nothing wrong with sorting and defining your assets before you're legally attached. Both parties are protecting themselves. Financial transparency is an ongoing process, and sometimes you need advisers to help you know your financial worth.

I requested a prenup because it seemed to me like the thing to do as a longtime working woman. My husband agreed, but then we got distracted with other more timely issues. Now that we are married, I'd consider a postnup incl estate planning. No two people will always match in terms of building wealth and money goals.

I’m a lawyer, so I think prenups are incredibly important. The fact of the matter is that everyone technically has one; it’s just do you want it to be on your own terms or under the state’s terms? My fiancé and I were planning to do one even though we have nothing complicated and thought it made sense to work through this stuff now while we love each other rather than when we’re in a divorcing state of mind. However, in my state it’s required that each party is represented by a lawyer, so when we started looking into it, it’s a very time-consuming and expensive process. Even if you write your own and just have both lawyers review it, it’s still ridiculously expensive. So even though I know better, we probably won’t be getting one.

View Quoted Comment I have a student loan. It means that once we get married my partner will be responsible for that?

View Quoted Comment No. Any debt that you incurred before the marriage remains yours.

View Quoted Comment Oh ok thanks

View Quoted Comment I think it can be a tricky conversation for many couples to discuss, regardless of whether they decide to sign one or not. Awesome that you and your fiance talked and came to a decision together!

View Quoted Comment That seems to be a fairly popular choice!

View Quoted Comment Yes it is


My partner is much richer than me and he wants this

View Quoted Comment I totally agree that there are situations where signing a prenup would be very beneficial, especially if children are involved. I see both sides of it otherwise - obviously no one goes into a marriage anticipating a divorce, though having a predetermined agreement on what the couple would do with any assets acquired during the marriage (house, shared bank accounts, etc) might save some time and arguments in court if a divorce were to happen. However, I also do see how a prenup might make people feel upset, especially if the prenup favors one spouse, or it may make people feel like their spouse isn't as confident in the marriage.

View Quoted Comment My husband and I had this same thought. It's not a very exciting topic to discuss with someone you're about to marry, but better to have the agreement and not need it, rather than need it and not have it. My husband and I didn't do an official/legal prenup, though we discussed what would be the most fair to both of us in a hypothetical divorce situation, and wrote it down. I don't intend to see that piece of paper ever again, but if we were to end up divorcing (I don't expect that to happen), we'd have that agreement to guide us through it.

View Quoted Comment I can certainly see both sides - it makes sense that couples would sign a prenup if there were children involved or any assets (regardless of how significant) they wanted to keep separate, and I also see why couples may choose to not sign a prenup.

View Quoted Comment Interesting!! I did not know this. Can I ask which state you're in that doesn't give much power to an existing prenup?

View Quoted Comment Virginia. Although our current governor is questionable, our state is generally pretty good. But prenups don't do much. Also, you can only marry a couple as an officiant if you are literally a pastor, priest, or equivalent. We aren't religious and wanted our friends to marry us but that is not an option here. A ton of people get married at the courthouse before their main wedding just because you can't legally have the wedding you want. Isn't that nuts?!

A prenup is not a bad idea . Plus it's a good discussion to have to discover each other's perspective on money and assets. They say that money is one of the main reasons people get divorced. Why not start dealing with the issue before entering the marriage.

My 2 cents.