Do we *have* to buy our parents gifts?

I don't think a physical gift is a requirement but a sincere thank you is. What about a nice letter and something that won't cost much, like a home-cooked meal on you or something?

I hear ya. I think we are doing more expensive gifts for ours but we have it in the budget and both parents helped out a TON for this wedding. Covering almost all of the wedding so to speak.

So we budgeted it in. Personal prefrence wise, i would go ahead and write the letters and then see if you can get a nice bottle of wine or something small for them?

We also cut alot out to get the gifts as well

It would be nice to do something. You certainly don't need to spend $800. I'm not sure why you think you need to spend $100 per person. We took our parents out to dinner a few nights before the wedding as their gift. They loved it.

I bought embroidered handkerchiefs for my parents and a thank you piece of art for his parents on etsy. Total was $100 for all 4 parents.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/76816509/mother-of-the-bride-embroidered-wedding?ref=shop_home_feat_2

https://www.etsy.com/listing/160675777/wedding-gift-for-parents-from-bride-and?ref=shop_home_active_23

@Sarah I think if we took all 8 out to a nice dinner it would cost even more than $800…including their meals and booze. Yikes.

You definitely don't need to spend $800 .... you can do something small and spend no more than $200.

There is no need to spend $800. You can get a nice frame and only spend $100 for all of them and put a wedding picture in it with a heartfelt message.

We are only giving my parents (still married, and paying for half the wedding) and his mother (remarried and paying for the rehearsal dinner) presents.

They're giving you a wedding and you don't want to give them a gift to thank them? Write them a heartfelt letter each, frame a great wedding photo, and be very thankful that they helped.

sheesh.

If your parents are forking out any money for the wedding, you should at least buy them something. $100 per parent is not necessary. I'm sure they'd rather get something (even for $15) than nothing. Go to Ross or another store to find something each person would like - no need to buy the exact same thing for everyone. But if they are helping to pay for the wedding, I feel like it is necessary to save some of that to say thank you to them.

@Celia You always give great advice…but your rude response was not needed. Clearly I'm trying to think of a way to thank them without breaking the bank and I'm looking for ideas. They know how grateful we are…we have told them dozens of times, as well as let them invite literally all their friends (more of their friends are coming than ours) and make nearly all wedding decisions.

sheesh.

We paid for our party of 8 and the bill came to $260... apps, dinner and drinks.

I think even a "token" gift will show your appreciation. For my FIL (who officiated AND hosted the rehearsal lunch) we gave him the same gift we gave the groomsmen (and my MOH) which was a 4 in 1 tool (a handcranked flashlight/radio/siren/cell phone charger), he loved it and mentioned that it would have come in handy while he and his wife (DH's step mother) were on a cruise. For MIL, I paid for her to have her make up done (she wanted to get her make up done but didn't really have the money for it so we added it into the budget). For my mother, I paid for her hotel room the night of the wedding (at our venue) so she didn't have to drive home. We offered to pay for my father to rent his tux but he wanted to wear a suit he had so we sent him a nice thank you card and gave him a picture from the wedding. The gifts don't have to be extravagant, I think they would all appreciate anything that shows them you appreciate their contributions to the wedding.

I'm in the same boat- my parents are divorced, and remarried. We are paying for the wedding ourselves, my dad and his wife are giving us a nice monetary gift as a wedding present. We are probably going to have them over for dinner and drinks as a thank you. They really hate presents anyway.

I'm sorry if it felt rude to you; I didn't mean it to be that way, but yes, they need a thank you gift, a tangible one. If they're paying for the majority of it, 'letting them' invite guests and make decisions is sorta the price of admission. This is why many couples say no to the money; the wedding becomes the parents' wedding, not theirs.

It doesn't have to be a $100 gift to be meaningful. I got both of my parents "Mom" and "Dad" handkerchiefs and we gave MIL the photo album from our photographer's package, and FIL a framed photo of the three generations of Eaton men.

I think I had mentioned this to someone else with a similar question - could you have wedding albums created for them after the event? It gives you time to replenish the budget a bit after the wedding and also gives them an heirloom of your day.

We'll be framing their wedding photos to display at our wedding and gifting them the frame. We also gifted our father's each a suit. My parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and FH parents will not be contributing which is fine with us.

Both of our parents are also divorced, our Mom are getting miniture copies of our album (we worked out with our photographer to get those for free) My dad & FFIL are both getting prints of us with them. I will be writing a note to my mom & his mom I found a really sweet FMIL poem that I want to have framed for her & maybe put a picture of her & I in, we haven't had the best relationship & I figured it would be a really nice gesture.

I think its mostly about the thought you put into it, they dont have to be expensive gifts just something that shows how much you love them & are thankful for them & their help.

I thought you were going to say if they're not contributing financially... the fact they are, you 100% need to get them a gift. $100 per couple gift should be fine, doesn't have to be $100 each.... $400 total spent to thank people who spent much more than that to help isn't that crazy. I'd find another area to cut to ensure this isn't the spot you do it from.