Do we invite people to our wedding that did not attend engagement party.

The wedding is the priority. So just because someone was invited and didn't come to the engagement party doesn't mean they won't come to the wedding. Guests lists of bride showers are subsets of the wedding guest list (so someone who's not invited to the wedding shouldn't be invited to the bridal shower). How that helps!

The only etiquette rule is that anyone *invited* to the engagement party (or any pre-wedding party) must also be invited to the wedding. So, yes, you must invite them to your wedding.

Merely sending an invitation doesn't require someone to attend an event and you shouldn't penalize someone for not attending an optional event.

Just because someone didn't come to a pre wedding event doesn't mean they won't come to the wedding. A wedding is typically made way more of a priority than and engagement party or bridal shower. I had several people miss my shower but come to the wedding.

Wedding is the priority, not the engagement party or any other pre wedding events. I would never not invite someone to my wedding just because they didn't attend my engagement party.

Thank you! If they do not RSVP do I still count them as if attending. In the past guests did not RSVP but they attended my friend's wedding.

Um, yes. Just cause someone can't make a completely optional party doesn't mean they wouldn't make time to attend the wedding. Plus anyone who is invited to the engagement party, whether they attend or not, should be invited to the wedding.

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If people don't RSVP by the RSVP date, you reach out to them and get their RSVP.

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You're probably going to need a final head count for the wedding, for at least your caterer, if not other vendors. So people not RSVP-ing is not ok. You can't just wonder if they will come. You'll have to do what many others have done here--track them down.

Typically, you will have a date by which you want your guests to RSVP by, and it's usually on the RSVP card or invitation somewhere: "Please RSVP by May 14, 2019" (for a June 15 wedding). Once your RSVP date passes, figure out how many have not responded, and start tracking them down to see if they are going to make it. It's not a fun job, but necessary.

Yes, engagement parties are not a big deal. It would be really rude to invite someone to your engagement party (whether they attended or not) and then not invite them to the wedding.

I think most people see an engagement party as a nice thing to attend if they can but not as big a priority as the wedding, therefor I would still invite them. I would not assume that just because they didn't attend the engagement party that they aren't interested in coming to the wedding.

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Talk to your family about this one. Sometimes in Hispanic culture wedding invite lists are more fluid than traditional wedding etiquette, so see what is common in your family's culture.

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Thank you.

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Thank you! My parents say so many people crashed their wedding that they ran out of food!!! lol at least the dance floor was packed.

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Thank you. I think I can ask a wedding coordinator to help. I worry about the flaky people that I know and hurting their feelings but I guess I gotta toughen up lol

View Quoted Comment My dad says he thinks his generation and my generation don't do this anymore, and we only have one person coming on my side from the generation before, so it will be pretty simple for us to track.


lthough I have friends who invited 150 people to their wedding, had 50 RSVPs, and then 300 guests. If you don't want that but think it might happen you could discreetly have someone spread the word.

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Thank you! Wow! 50- 300 is a big difference. lol The more the merrier but I worry about enough food & space on the dance floor. I guess I will push for those RSVPs.