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Michelle
Rockstar December 2022

Do you love or hate dress codes?

Michelle, on September 25, 2022 at 3:28 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
As a guest, do you prefer the couple telling you what to wear or do you feel that is overstepping? As a hostess, do you have a preference of what vibe you want or do you trust adult guests to dress appropriately?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Connie, on October 7, 2022 at 9:46 PM
  • Celina
    Beginner October 2022
    Celina ·
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    I have been with my fiancé for 5 years and we have been to 16 weddings together; I prefer a dress code. I wouldn't want to show up somewhere under or over dressed.
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  • Ashley
    Dedicated January 2023
    Ashley ·
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    As a guest, I like a general dress code statement - casual, semi-formal, or formal, just for reference. Detailed dress codes like women should only wear purple or green, and men only in red jackets and blue ties, would be a little extreme and tedious 😄


    As a hostess and soon to be bride, I actually wish I could be a little more specific but I know it’s silly to do that. However I often see people pushing the limits of dress codes both at work and at events where they are, frankly, underdressed and look like they really gave no effort and show no respect to the event. So, to try to counteract that I would like to state a few things like “no jeans” and whatnot … but I will hesitantly trust that people can understand semi formal already implies no jeans.
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  • Jasmine S.
    VIP May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
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    I don't mind as long as it's a standard dress code (semi-formal, formal, black tie). Not something "creative" that that would leave me scratching my head.
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  • Erin
    Super May 2022
    Erin ·
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    As a guest I haven’t cared too much if an invitation doesn’t have a dress code. I’ve been able figure out what to wear appropriately. If it is on the invitation, I’m grateful for the guidance and use it.


    As a host, we decided not to put anything about dress code on our invitations, thinking people would be fine. It was a 3 PM ceremony at a church with a 5-10 PM reception at a venue that was formerly a restaurant long ago. I was really surprised to find that about 3 or 4 households contacted me asking for a dress code (mostly younger people my age), and then an older woman guest wore something that I thought was a little too formal for my wedding (it was a floor length gown more appropriate for a black tie wedding). If I could do it over again, I would go back and put “Sunday Best attire” on our invitations to give people guidance.
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  • Janet
    Expert October 2018
    Janet ·
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    I don’t mind the standard dress codes stated. All the cutesy made up ones that I have never heard of in my life are just work because chances are you can’t just google them.


    It’s also a pet peeve of mine when couples request guests dress to the 9s and it’s not that kind of experience. Formal or black tie optional for an outdoor daytime back yard wedding with bbq. There’s nothing wrong with this type of wedding, but dress codes need to fit the event
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  • Pat
    Rockstar May 2023
    Pat ·
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    YES!!! THIS!!! It happened to us (as guests) back in May. "Dress to impress. Sparkles, formal wear and your best party wear" ...... and only about 4 couples complied for the outdoor picnic grove barbeque reception. UGH.

    Even though our wedding is on the beach with the reception on the (covered) patio deck, I did put "smart casual" on our invite. Our website got more specific with " What the heck is "smart casual"? Guys, don't pack a suit jacket or tie! The wedding party isn't even wearing tuxes. That being said, nice dress pants and a collared shirt are perfect. Please, absolutely no jeans, cutoffs or shorts. Gals, put those formal and evening gowns away, this is FLORIDA!! Dress pants and a nice top, or a nice "Sunday best" dress is perfect. Out of respect for the bride, please don't wear white."

    Hopefully this will clear up any confusion some may have.

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    I love a dress code! I hate guessing how to dress and where I come from, dress codes are very much the norm so I would be rather clueless as to how to dress for a wedding without one.

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  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    It depends. I definitely need a "formal" or "beach casual" to make sure I show up appropriately, but I once had a cousin whose invite told us we were to wear the colors displayed on her invite + in a semi formal fashion.

    It was navy with pink flowers on it, so I'm guessing that's what she wanted [spoiler, I didn't go]. She got married in a field at her aunts house that had no alcohol and was "BYOC"...bring your own chair. it came off very bad IMO Smiley xd

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  • Orianna
    Devoted December 2022
    Orianna ·
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    I personally love a dress code, because I'm always the one who is anxious that I'll either be over dressed or under dressed. So having some sort of guidance is super helpful for me and my planning.

    We did the dress code thing on ours. We're having a black-tie optional wedding and that's stated on our details card - with more info on our website letting people know what black-tie optional means.

    I have always dreamed of a very formal wedding - my dream venue (which sadly is not currently up and running and therefore is not the venue we are using) has a 1920s vibes and had we been able to get married there - it would have been a white tie and tails wedding. Cause I'm crazy. And love a theme.

    I got talked out of the fully black tie wedding - but I think dress codes are helpful. Also I don't want anyone showing up to my wedding in jeans.

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  • Laura
    Dedicated September 2022
    Laura ·
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    I say let them know what you would like them to wear. That's a question I got a lot from guests so I added it into the wedding website information. I was a no t-shirt, sneakers or jeans type gal. Because you know there will be people showing up with no clue of how to dress, make it simple and stress free for them by letting them know what your preference is, but know not everybody will follow it.
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  • Paige
    VIP October 2022
    Paige ·
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    I think a general dress code (casual, formal, black-tie, etc.) is both a smart move and a polite thing to do. Back when most weddings were the same as the next, a dress code may not have been needed, but nowadays there's a ton of variation from venue to venue, and even two events at the same venue can be done differently. Plus a lot of guests may not have ever been to your venue so there wouldn't be a lot of experience to draw from. You wouldn't want to wear a formal gown to a wedding where the groom is in jeans, but you also wouldn't want to show up to a black tie event in a casual sundress and flip-flops. Giving guests a heads up of the formality ensures nobody feels out of place due to being over/ under dressed.

    Dress codes are only really a problem when they're too specific (ex. everyone must wear Pantone color X with no variation in shade), get too cutesy (ex. fairy princess under the sea casual), or the hosts want a certain standard of dress without giving consideration to venue, time of day, etc.

    Our wedding is just shy of checking all the boxes for a black-tie event, so we went with black-tie optional. We probably also would have went with that if the event met every criterion for black-tie, though, so guests wouldn't have to purchase/ rent a gown or tux if they didn't have one and/ or it wasn't in their budget. I listed that on our website along with a general idea of what we meant by "black-tie optional," a note about how the wedding would be in the fall and in a church so a jacket or wrap may be a good idea, and a request not to wear white.

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  • C
    Savvy September 2023
    Connie ·
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    As others have said, a general dress code is fine (black tie, casual, etc). But requiring specific colors, etc, is, in my opinion, not ok.
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