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Expert August 2021

Do you really need a rehearsal dinner?

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Katie, on June 11, 2021 at 7:58 AM

Do you really need a rehearsal dinner?

I have previously talked about how my Mol told us we couldn't have the wedding in their backyard 2 months before wedding because of how my mom planned my bridal shower. And how my mom is now upset because my fiance has forgiven his parents and I have moved passed it after his parents apologized and even found us a new location and have since been trying to make it up to us.
I'm just so over everyone else egos and drama. And it seems like my fiance and I are the only ones who suffer. And it has nothing to do with us. We have put our foot down with our parents. I don't even have a good relationship anymore with my mom because of putting her in her place. We have set boundaries with all of them. But I'm still just so done. What is supposed to be the happiest time in our lives has turned into a nightmare. I just want to have my wedding but I don't really want to plan anymore stuff for the wedding. Im overwhelmed and mentally drained. I don't want to deal with any more bs between families.
Between the people standing up in the wedding. My dad, The flower girl, flower guys and officiant. And the fact that we would need his parents there with us because they are members of the club. We have about 20 people who would be at the rehearsal dinner. Which I honestly don't think the club would even allow on a Friday night. They have strict rules. And they would really only be open Friday for members. So with all that I was thinking of just skipping the rehearsal dinner all together.

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24 Comments

Dedicated October 2021
Tammy · on June 11, 2021 at 1:39 PM
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Yes exactly, you are all adults or atleast your all supposed to be, seems she is the only one who didn't get the memo. Once again I'm so sorry it's really the last thing you should be dealing with. Will keep sending positive thoughts your way. Is there anyone who she is close to that hasn't drank her crazy juice that you could ask to gently be the voice of reason to your mom? Sometimes it takes someone else saying the exact same thing before it penetrates...
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Expert August 2021
Katie · on June 11, 2021 at 3:15 PM
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Thank you so much. I don't think there's anyone who is reasonable who can talk to her that she would actually listen to. But I will definitely have to see.
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Savvy July 2021
Sara · on July 8, 2021 at 9:11 AM
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I'm sorry. I know how it feels between the egos, drama and enforcing boundaries. Weddings really bring out people's true colors. Sometimes we're revealed with something ugly while others are our shining beacon of hope with seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I've learned to stop people pleasing no matter who it is. If you've been planning and planning, keep doing it your way. Take advice with a grain of salt and do what you want.

We're still having a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner all at our venue. I've asked everyone to RSVP via a mailed invite and also on our group message. If someone doesn't reply to it, they don't get to join us for dinner. If they don't show up for the actual rehearsal, then I guess they're going to look awfully awkward with not knowing what to do 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm not bending over backwards anymore for anyone and I'm keeping everything simple.
I know that may sound harsh, but when I was trying to be nice and not micromanage and providing lots of options, they must've thought the word welcome was all over my face. That's where I got my get with it or get lost/I'm chilling now/keeping it simple attitude came from.
It may help to see a counselor, it did for me. Don't let any stigma stop you from considering it. Hang in there and remember the big picture is the life you'll be building with your partner. This wedding is thankfully only one day and it's almost over 🙌 😅
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Expert August 2021
Katie · on July 8, 2021 at 9:54 AM
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Thank you 😊 you're right I'm so thankful it is one day. My fiance and I are just so sick of everyone and their egos. My fiance wanted to just elope because he just had enough of everyone but it's like I told him, it's our dream to have this wedding not theirs so why should we have to pay the price of having to elope because people can't control their egos. We are thinking of doing the rehearsal and telling everyone that if they can't be coregal to one another they don't need to be at the rehearsal or the wedding.
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