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Just Said Yes August 2018

Do you/should you sit with parents at your wedding?

Brooke, on June 20, 2018 at 10:41 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 12
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This is my first post here, really keen to get some insights! I’m having a 60 person outdoor wedding on the beach under a tent - no bridal parties, I have a sister and my fiancé has a brother so they’re sort of faux MOH and best man. I’m trying to figure out seating, we’re likely doing two long tables with a shorter table connecting them at the end to make it a u shape. I’m currently on bad terms with my sister and my mother due to some bad decisions made recently, and my fiance’s parents are divorced with new partners (one married, the other with a brand new girlfriend) and while they get along we can’t seat them together. Is it bad if I put the families with their guests at the ends of the two long tables and sit instead with my friends? I know the answer is probably yes but the alternative will mean a tense and awkward dinner which isn’t fun at all.

thank you!!

12 Comments

Latest activity by Shaye523, on June 20, 2018 at 3:20 PM
  • Heather
    Expert September 2018
    Heather ·
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    I was thinking of siting us with our friends...
    The bridal party is going to sit with ppl they know not a head table and i dont want a sweetheart table
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  • P
    Expert June 2018
    Pina ·
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    Sit with who you want to. It’s your wedding!
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  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
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    Do you have to do the U shaped tables? I think it might be easier if you do rounds for the guests and perhaps a sweetheart table for you and your FS. You can then seat your families with their respective guests and enjoy a quiet moment alone just the two of you. I don't think there is anything wrong with your setup but, parents might be upset about getting pushed to the end of the line and may cause trouble/complain.

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  • B
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Brooke ·
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    We have to unfortunately - because of the tent and what the venue provides, it’s two long tables and one shorter one so the only other alternative is having the shorter one separated creating a head table which I’m trying to avoid. It’s such a small wedding that even if they’re at the end, they’re really only like 10 seats away.
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  • B
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Brooke ·
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    I’m in the same boat - don’t want a sweetheart table since I’d like to socialize, but the head table can get so political! I considered no assigned seating but worried it’d alienate those who don’t know many people.
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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    Seat people by whatever will make them and you the most comfortable.

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  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    We had no desire to sit with our parents. You don't have to endure a tense dinner for no reason. I almost never say it's your wedding, because usually the speaker is trying to excuse some kind of etiquette violation but there is none here.

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  • augbride
    Super August 2018
    augbride ·
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    I am sitting with my family (parents and sibling) at a head table because me and FH are both close with our families and we wanted the bridal party to be able to sit with the significant others. However, you certainly shouldn't sit with your family if you don't want to!! I can't imagine sitting with people I didn't want to at my own wedding. I understand you want to socialize, but you will be socializing all night so it might be a nice chance for you and FH to enjoy some time. Also, during dinner you could do table visits so you still get to socialize after you eat!

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  • PBiazinha
    VIP May 2018
    PBiazinha ·
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    We had 31 adults including us, we did not sit with our parents/siblings, we decided it would be easier to have a sweetheart table and parents/siblings would seat with their own families. worked out very well for us.

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  • Maren
    Champion October 2021
    Maren ·
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    Hi Brooke! Congrats on your engagement and welcome to WeddingWire! Smiley heart

    I agree with the others: do what will be the most comfortable for you and your FS & don't overthink it. It's your wedding day, after all.

    Hope this helps! If you have any other questions throughout your wedding planning process, please don't hesitate to connect or post another discussion! We are always happy to help!

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  • B
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Brooke ·
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    Thank you all! I think I just needed to hear from people who have gone through this experience!
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  • Shaye523
    Devoted August 2018
    Shaye523 ·
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    Do what works for you. Our parents are sitting with us at the head table because FH doesn't like to have a lot of focus on him. We will have the bridal party (4), my parents, and his mother at the table. I'm totally okay with it because I want him to feel comfortable and I am all about family.
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