Does anyone else have a useless fiance?

All mine wanted was an X on the floor where he should stand. Nothing else mattered to him. He said as long as he got to marry me that was all he cared about.

He didn't care about cupcakes or songs or tablecloths so I just didn't tell him. I had some awesome friends who helped me out and once I let it go and didn't bug him about every detail things were soooo much better

Then in the last month he did become involved and started asking questions.

Just remember most men didn't dream about their wedding day

He told me whatever I wanted. It's easier than having a fiancé that has really bad ideas that he's totally set on.

Yeah, my FH is just ad useless. He is always saying if that's what you want. I feel just like you though! I am gonna have a major panic attack with these details and plans, especially since its all on me. He just wants yo be married already. I'm sure things will turn out just fine. We've gotta learn to woosah lol.

Oh honey, my fiancé is super involved ... To the point where it's "his wedding" and "he's only going to get married once". Which is great, until I'm trying to convince him that 10 am is wayy too early and yes, I am going to spend more than $200 on a dress ... While plastic tablecloths would be a lot cheaper, I'd like something fancier ... And my favorite, that the reception will be longer than 2 hours and there's a good chance he won't be served his food at 5 o'clock on the dot. I don't want to be a Debby Downer, but the grass isn't greener on this side!

Eta: I don't want to sound ungrateful, FH has had some great ideas and it's adorable that he cares ... But for somethings its been a struggle to compromise

If my FH didn't pull his weight we wouldn't be having a traditional wedding. I have no problem eloping.

'Useless fiancé?" Wow. What a nice way to think of your FH, lol.

My fiance is very involved. At first, I was happy he cared. Now, I'm hoping he loses interest...soon. He is slowing down any progress with his unrealistic expectations.

I'm with Carrie!

My fiance is very involved. He even attends the expos with me. He will probably vome around towards the end.

My fiancé answers questions I have and puts his input to things. Ex ( what do you think about these napkins, this color scheme, this idea etc) but that's as far as he goes until recently. Yesterday he said he wanted to do the painting for our DIY stuff and I had no problem having him take that task. Last week he wanted to sit down and go over a checklist for what we had to do before July and our appointments. So that is on our to do list for today.

My FH wasn't to involved at first either and keep saying "whatever you want." I sat him down and told him something along the lines of "I feel overwhelmed because I feel like I'm planning this wedding by myself and it's not fun anymore since I feel so overwhelmed. Since it's our day I think that your input is important" I know it sounds cheesy but when I do conflict resolution stuff with clients using "I statements" is the best suggestion because it's non aggressive and it's hard for someone to get made at you for feeling a certain way.

Hey date twin. It sounds like we are marrying the same guy. He wanted a date and time to show up and I even had to pick out him and his groomsmens attire. We are getting towards the end so I'm not sure what else you have to do but my suggestion would be not to overwhelm him with all of the options. Give him 2-3 options. And ask him to pick one. See if he can come up with a few songs he likes. Not all at once but if he hears something on her radio he wants played or likes tell him to just put it in his phone. FH really enjoyed our tasting. I pretty much had our menu done but at the tasting he loved the scallop hors d'oeuvres. So I made sure to include them for him. He actually didn't want to come to the cake tasting, whatever not his thing and I know this. But he had mentioned when I had him look at the options, for 2 whole minutes, 6 months ago, that he loved confetti cake. Not very "wedding-ish" but I made sure to include it. Just listen to the little things, even if it's just a quick sentence about something he likes- wedding related or not. Try to include it if you can. I was super overwhelmed in the beginning but I got organized. It can get overwhelming and annoying at times but at the same time I can't wait to see his face when he walks in and is like "wow!" You can always come here to vent about issues or ask opinions! You will survive!

Count your blessings. Once I got my FH to open up, he said he wanted to have a bachelor party to go hunting to provide all the meat for dinner. My country man really had some far out ideas once I started bugging him. Sometimes it's just best to ask for the OK on things and take what you want while you can.

My fiance says he just wants to show up as well and leave all the planning to me.

My FH is very opinionated lol. And we have complete opposite ideas on what we actually want for the wedding.

FH doesn't plan on his own, but he'll do what I tell him to do.

Or pick up slack around the house with things because I am so busy.

Was he into planning parties and events before? If not, I'm not sure why you would expect him to be into it now. I planned our wedding by myself - no family in town either. My husband doesn't care about hosting parties, so he had very few opinions on our wedding. He came with me to cake tasting and the DJ meeting but that was almost it. The key is that he recognized there was work involved - so for example, if I was going to spend an evening addressing invitations, he would make dinner. But it wouldn't have been fair to him if I tried to force him to be interested in something he wasn't.

My fiancé is really involved in the "fun stuff" and then he leaves the worst stuff for me. Like the draft guest list. And all the research. He only looks at things once I've narrowed it down. Is there anything you can ask FH to do that he might be especially interested in?

When I met my FH he had a wedding playlist on his computer LOL. Right then and then I'd knew he'd be very involved.

But when it came time, I won't say he was useless, but he wasn't taking enough information, writing things down etc. After the second venue visit, I took him aside and told him I needed him to be more involved. Bring a pen and paper. Take photos as well because maybe I might miss something that you were able to see. Especially since he's the one that wanted the big wedding and I didn't. He's very involved now.

I usually come up with the ideas and ask for his input.

But then I make him call any vendors I find. I HATE calling people. (To the point that if an unknown number calls me I will stare at my phone until the call has ended and hope that if it was important they leave a message).

Luckily he is very willing to make these calls (after I repeat my list of questions a million times), and he's good about giving me his opinion on things. He also knows I'm a huge spreadsheet user (I have about ten different excel documents that I use for various things), and budgeter, so he lets me plan and budget things and then he will sit with me about once a week or so to go over it all so I can make sure he's comfortable with every decision.

If your FH isn't involved at all and you really want his advice on things, could you maybe see if he would be willing to set aside an hour or two a week to go over things with you? That time would be all wedding talk, but then as soon as it's over then you move onto something else.

I've found that it helps to keep him involved if we plan a set time to talk about it.