Does anyone else have a useless fiance?

Mine wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted to show up and pay that's it. So, I got myself organized and I appreciate that he's not involved. This man wanted our 1st dance to be your the best from karate kid.

I downloaded an app called LadyMary. It's been a great checklist for me.

My fiancé has always been involved since we got engaged. It's not just my day but his so I always want his input and hear what he wants

My FH really only cares about food, music, and booze. other than that, he just wants me to tell him what to wear and where to be when. He has been pretty willing to help with concrete tasks (addressing save the dates, choosing the menu) but he could care less about colors and day-of timelines. I would suggest starting by asking him what he does care about for the wedding and go from there. you might be surprised.

My husband was involved in the planning. We had very similar pictures of whatever wanted our wedding day to be. He picked out the venue with me then he made a spreadsheet that included everything we needed to do and another with all of the budget and expenses then another one with guest list, addresses, checkboxes for rsvp. (Spreadsheets are his thing) In the task list we had who was going to do each task and he did all the ones that were his to do and helped me with some of the others too. In the end I think our wedding was a perfect mix of who we are together and everything got done.

Maybe try doing a list and give him some tasks to do to get him somewhat involved. Be sure to have a due date for each thing but otherwise let him do his things.

I feel you girl, FH was off yesterday and I worked 12 hours, I found a venue he planned to go tour it while I'm on FaceTime so I can see it, guess what he woke up went to fix his car and came back at 11:30am when I ask him what time he's leaving he said he need the day to relax. I'm pissed off

...useless? Most men don't dream about their wedding the way that most women do. Stop haranguing him. If you're calling him useless on a forum to a bunch of strangers, I feel sad for how you must make him feel in your private lives.

I would say if you need help ask him for it. But for help not for opinions. Say I need you to XYZ today. I have all the supplies here could you please do that for me. He may not be interested in making decisions or opinions on things but I am sure he would help if you need it. Good luck

I wouldn't say my fh is useless but he is far from being into planning the wedding. He'll go with me to look at place and give me his opinion on it, or he'll go to meet with different vendors but other than that he's told me "tell me what we need to wear, where to be and what time." He hasn't dreamt of this fairy tale wedding since he was little. I wanted him more involved but he's not much of a party planner so I shouldn't expect him to get all into wedding planning.

FH cares about things like food, cake and good music to awkwardly dance to. He also was very involved in helping me decide on an officiant. Otherwise, as far as colors, decorations, attire for the bridal party, etc. he doesn't care too much but I run everything by him to make sure he doesn't hate it.

It was important to me that FH have input into our wedding. It usually takes asking him several times before something gets done, but it does. And there are a few things I refuse to do for him.

I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with OP's FH mot wanting to help plan. I DO have an issue with him "making fun" of her planning. That would have been stopped the first time it happened.

@kimi I'm sure it wasn't him being mean about him making fun of her but I know some guys, especially my FH that don't understand all the goes into planning, especially when they are not super involved and can make fun of the stupid things we start to obsess over. Like fonts, flowers, and all the weird little details that no one but us will ever notice.

My FH is useful in all those unimportant areas like unconditional love, support, encouragement, netflix binging, etc... but otherwise totally useless. Sorry, that word just really hits a nerve for me. FH is useful in countless other areas of my life, and just because he isn't as concerned about linen colors as I am doesn't make him useless. I know it was just a word to describe him but...something to think about.

Realistically, FH wants it to be exactly how I've dreamed of it. He puts in opinions when I ask him (ex: he chose 1 of our 2 cake flavors, opinions on menu, etc) but he's mostly letting me plan what I want. FH does make jokes to me about planning sometime, but I wouldn't call it making fun. If you feel like FH is crossing the line making fun of you, tell him how you feel. But don't have expectations that he will care as much for the details as you do! If you're really overwhelmed, give him 1 or 2 tasks he can realistically do (such as gather addresses for his side of the family, etc).

I think useless is a little harsh. Anyway, my FH is involved is whatever he wants to be. He had some strong opinions on certain things and I gave those to him and he goes to whatever appointment I make but if he really doesn't want to go, I don't make him.

It's been a lot of work putting this all together but I think it's worth it in the end.

Good luck planning!

"Whatever makes you happy" is his favorite phrase. Embrace it.

All my FH is adamant on is the shape of the cake. It needs to be square. Not circle, not rectangle.. perfectly square. Other than that, asking for opinions is like pulling teeth

My FH doesn't want to help with much at all either. I usually present him with options, pick this or that and he responds well to that. He's had one job so far: to get the stamps for the STDs. They were addressed and ready to go out 2 months ago (although I'm not going to send them yet, too early). He just got the stamps Wednesday. Also, when we first started planning he REFUSED to talk about anything. So I said, pick a day and time where we can talk. He did, and I made an agenda with everything we needed to go over. Meeting over in 15 minutes, and afterwards he said, that was it? That was easy! We should do that more often haha. I think his hesitancy was in that he thought it was going to be this big huge thing, when really it was pretty simple decisions

My FH isn't into all the planning and stuff for the wedding. I told him since he like music that he could do the songlist for the DJ. Since we are using his car for the wedding, he is in charge of decorations for it. He has attended all of our meetings with the planner/vendors with me. Not much on input but he did pick out the colors for the guys bouts. Don't expect more from him then that. I have known a few brides that were tell me when and where to be and they had beautiful weddings. Have a good idea of what you want and ask your BP for help if need be.

My husband didn't help at all with the planning!!!! It was nice at the beginning but like you said, it got overwhelming and not fun. I told him I needed his help and he just said my ideas were better. It was tough but I had to let it go, I know he didn't really want a wedding (we wanted to elope) so I didn't expect him to all of a sudden want to be involved with it. I warned him the whole wedding would be pink and he said if that's what I wanted. So we had a very pink, amazing wedding. He did thank me after and tell me how amazing everything turned out and how my hard work paid off. It meant a lot that he at least acknowledged it!

So does him contributing monetarily make him "useless?"

FH is totally not into planning. I have found it is helpful to narrow the options for something down on my own, then give him a small selection of 3 or so to choose from. Otherwise, he just gets overwhelmed and shuts down.

The only part of it that pisses me off is his refusal to have any input on the ceremony. I feel like out of all of this, he should had least have SOME opinion on what is said there.