Does anyone else's FI have problems with the bride getting the attention?

Nope FH could care less he knows it's about us and not just me, he also is aware that most of the time all eyes are on the bride and it's nothing personal.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things.. .but he sounds a little bit like a child. Did you ask him what exactly it is he's expecting?

it's a social construct that is geared to "bride is everything" - and MOST men don't care and or don't want the attention- but he's gotten the things he wants- it just sounds like his ego isn't being pet the way he wants.

Just ask him- and then keep doing what you're doing.

I always corrected people when they said it's my day and said it's "our" day. There isn't much you can do about "fixing" other people.

It's aisle, not isle unless you are on a body of land in an ocean/sea. Is he always this way when he's not the center of attention - wedding or not? Just keep stressing to him that itis a day for both of you to enjoy and when the day rolls around, he'll get plenty of attention. Not that I agree, but it seems the bride always gets the bulk of the attention leading up to the wedding.

No FH knows that all that comes from outdated traditions. We're paying for our own wedding and planning it together.

My friends ex husband had that issue before they got married. He was jealous she got a bridal shower and then complained he didnt know what was going on with the wedding, even though she tried to include him every step of the way. He never grew up and that's why they're divorced.

He sounds pretty insecure, is he always this way? Have you asked him what exactly he wants?

FH gets a little salty when we go to bridal shows. To to be fair they totally ignore him. Other than that he doesn't throw fits cause no one is giving him the same amount of attention. As long as I acknowledge its our day he doesn't care what others say. I don't know what else you can do to calm his tits over the situation other than totally stepping back and letting him have the glory he thinks he needs

The only time FH had an issue like this is when we met with vendors. He would get frustrated if a vendor only spoke to me or acted like my opinion was the only one that mattered. We don't usually book those vendors - we try to find someone who we think is excited to work with us as a couple and get both our opinions. .

You sound like you're trying hard - but honestly he needs to let it roll of his back a little bit too. Maybe just try to redirect those conversations by saying stuff like "oh yes WE were excited to pick flowers" or "oh yes for OUR day - we decided we wanted" You can't control what other people say - but you both can control how you respond. I think so long as you're including him in all decisions he needs to let it go.

Munchkin -that's fucking hysterical considering if we walk into a hardware store- or a mechanic shop- about 95% of the time they ignore the women and speak only to the men.

HA- sucks to be invisible doesn't it asshole.

#pettybetty

Is he going to be this way if you have kids/get pregnant and get upset if people comment on "your pregnancy"?

@Jo - omg I never thought of it that way. You're 100% right though. I love walking into hardware stores by myself. the employees are always so surpised when I know 100% what I need and wanted and don't need their help. It's great to shock them

He's acting very childish... the whole engagemnt ring comment was over the top. Just try to include him more in the planning and ask his opinions and what he thinks, my DH didn't care about much during the planning except for the food and cake tasting hahah.

Munchkin- the male ego... so very delicate- it's one of the most delicate things on our planet.

So fragile - if you break it- the whole planet will tip off it's axis and will go spinning into the galaxy and we will all die.

Fragile it is. Protect it we must.

FH could care less he just wants to be married. It sounds like you need to have a talk with him because you are doing your best to include him.

Nope, FH does not care. Sometimes he will say it to me that it is my day but I tell him really it is about us! It is our day!

My FH hates how vendors tend to talk towards me and not us. We had one venue coordinator outright ignore him. She said something along the lines of "don't worry about this stuff, you just show up". But overall he doesn't care terribly much. We are far out though

Nah, @ Jo Rocka, not #pettybetty at all. I had the exact same thought when I read the OP.

OP, I'd be telling my FH to nut up and stop pissing and moaning...but something tells me that wouldn't go over well in your situation. But I would never have to deal with this from my FH - he's secure enough in his manhood that when we went and bought our truck last year and the guy at the dealership kept directing all the questions at him, he looked at him point blank and said "I think you need to be asking my fiancée, she's the one who will be towing with it and she knows the specs she wants".

My FH isn't bothered by it, but we haven't experienced much of that "It's your day" stuff yet. However, when we met with venue vendors, they usually sat next to me and talked MOSTLY to me (they didn't ignore him by any means), but I was sure to turn towards him for his input when asked questions. Like when the vendor would say something like "What are you thinking you'd like for the dinner options?", I would turn and look at him and let him answer or at least nod and agree with what I was saying. It's possible that little things like that could make your FH feel more included, but it sounds like you may already be doing that. I would suggest sitting down and talking honestly with him about it so you can understand exactly why he's feeling that way. It's true that societal norms have made it all about "The bride!", but many couples are getting away from that now because no, it's about the couple and the marriage.

My FH doesn't care, when we go to a bridal show and they ask me a question I make sure to turn to him and ask what he thinks to make sure he feels included. Why is your FH upset that he can't walk down the aisle, (who says her can't) I never heard of a man being upset about that.

Nope. He didnt care at all.

Nope, my FH is not this way. Sometimes he does say that the day is for me, but I say it's about us. I make sure he is included in conversations if we are meeting with vendors or anything too, but he has never been jealous/insecure that I got an engagement ring or that most of the wedding day is usually about the bride.

Is you FH insecure about other things besides the wedding? Just hoping this doesn't become an issue later in life like a PP said if you two choose to have kids and he gets insecure about people talking about your pregnancy...