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Beginner June 2024

Does anyone else’s fiancé have a completely opposing vision for the wedding?

Alig24, on April 8, 2023 at 7:46 PM Posted in Style and Décor 0 6

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I’m sure people wish they had this problem because it means their fiancé was involved in the planning process LOL But it’s driving me nuts trying to figure out how to decorate this wedding!

We picked a modern, chic venue and I’ve been showing him some of the stuff I like so I thought we were on the same page as far as vibes. I want something that feels luxe, chic, modern, etc. and I’ve been showing him pictures and we’ve been picking vendors that kind of match that vibe. We’re having a 2024 wedding so it was all pretty up in the air for a while, but we’re finally getting to that time where we want to nail down a vision.
Now tell me why this man says he wants to wear a brown tweed suit?? And that he doesn’t think he wants his groomsmen to wear suits at all. And he doesn’t want a live musician for the ceremony cause it’s “too fancy.” And he wants like thrift store decorations.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good vintage inspired, outdoorsy wedding. I’m not saying that a wedding can’t be beautiful with thrift store decorations (and after helping my FSIL with her wedding I know that stuff doesn’t come cheap lol). They’re fun and cool and gorgeous. But it’s not at all what I envisioned for my wedding day!!
Where do you even begin to make these two ideas work together?

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Latest activity by LM, on April 11, 2023 at 2:03 PM

Champion July 2019
Veronica · on April 8, 2023 at 7:59 PM
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It sounds like you two need to sit down and talk because what you are envisioning doesn't sound like the same thing he is envisioning. What exactly is he wanting the groomsmen to wear? Also, what do you mean by thrift store decorations? To me that sounds like maybe inexpensive, but maybe you mean something else.
It sounds like to me that now that the reality of booking a venue has sunk in that maybe he is afraid of the cost of this wedding therefore he is attempting to come up with cheaper options to cut back on your guys expenses. The only other thing I can think of is that he kind of just yes'd you along, but now is speaking up and saying what he really wants which is definitely an issue.
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Beginner June 2024
Alig24 · on April 8, 2023 at 8:59 PM
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Oddly enough, it’s not about money at all. He’s the one who wanted to have the big expensive wedding and doesn’t care how much it costs. Lol We’re renting all our decor so the cost is about the same regardless of the style we choose. It’s literally just about aesthetics.

Up til this point we’ve just been talking about bits and pieces like “oh this centerpiece is nice” and “these florals are gorgeous!” which is what made me think we had the same taste. We’ve picked all our vendors together, including the fancy venue (that he pushed for!!) and the fancy food. I think he just thought that I’d be into the idea of having everything else be casual/rustic?? Idk why but that’s why we’re trying to find a middle ground.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on April 8, 2023 at 9:14 PM
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Unfortunately I'm not really sure how you'd incorporate rustic and modern into one as they are completely different styles. If you have a very modern/elegant wedding it would seem very out of place to have rustic elements. I think of he wanted something more causal or rustic he should have spoken up sooner especially because depending on just how formal your venue is they might not allow or highly frown upon causal attire like jeans. That's I guess what I'm envisioning if your fiance doesn't want them in suits.
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CM · on April 9, 2023 at 8:31 AM
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I always feel that if someone has ideas that are on the non traditional side, then both of you have to agree. I think it’s wrong for him to be wanting to control so many aspects of the wedding in a way that does not match up to the kind of wedding you’re having or the venue.
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Just Said Yes May 2023
Juan · on April 11, 2023 at 1:57 PM
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Sounds like you two have different visions for your wedding. Good news, you have plenty of time to figure it out, so don't commit to everything. Maybe you or he will think different in a few months. My advice, don't be pressured by vendors to commit and leave a nearly deposit.

Maybe go to a wedding show together and be open to more options. It doesn't all have to be figured out a year in advance
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Super December 2022
LM · on April 11, 2023 at 2:03 PM
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How about "chic organic"? Minimalist, silver or bronze metals, black and white, single color or single-variation florals. But, even Lord Grantham on Downtn Abbey put away his British tweed for a dinner tuxedo. Your partner really should be working with you not battling the plan you both agreed upon earlier. But, this does happen with many grooms, though. Good luck.
Mid-century retro, not vintage

Classic and vintage-y lily of the valley
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Does anyone else’s fiancé have a completely opposing vision for the wedding?

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