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Christine
Savvy October 2019

Does registry have to be for wedding?

Christine, on June 27, 2019 at 2:05 PM Posted in Registry 0 12

Do I have to offer a registry for my wedding or can I just have the information available to the people who are invited to the bridal shower? I don't want to sound greedy, but I'm trying to encourage cash rather than a lot of actual gifts for my wedding, my FH and I are really trying to save for a house and rather than things to go into said house, we'd prefer cash to help our fund grow. Also, with a lot of out of town guests, I don't want them thinking they have to lug a bunch of gifts with them to the wedding. I have a wedding website and don't have the registry visible to guests right now, but have included the information on my bridal shower invitations. Thanks for any input!

12 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Juliana, on June 27, 2019 at 10:22 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    You could just encourage the cash registry you have or can set up for the shower.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    The same registry is typically used for the shower and the wedding. I've never actually been to a wedding where guests brought physical gifts. It's typical for people to just bring cards with cash or check gifts inside. There are some people who prefer to gift off of the registry, but those are typically sent to the couple before the wedding. If you don't want to use the registry for your wedding, just don't put it on your wedding website and only include it in the bridal shower invites. That doesn't necessarily mean that guests who are invited to the shower won't use it for wedding gifts or that any other guest can't just Google "bride's name wedding registry" and easily find it.

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  • Christy
    Dedicated September 2019
    Christy ·
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    Why don't you set up a Honeyfund and primarily add house donations to that. If you don't tell people what you DO want (money toward a house in this case) they will either assume you don't want gifts OR will find something to buy you that you absolutely do not want or need.

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  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·
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    What we did was only register for the amount of gifts that equaled the amount of people coming to the shower. After the shower was over, everything on it was purchased so we closed it. If anyone asked if we had a registry for the wedding we said we didn't. We got all cash as wedding gifts.

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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    What Caytlyn said. It may be regional, but where I'm at (NJ/NY metro area), you typically give a physical gift for the shower and bring a check/cash in a card for thr wedding. That's why I personally don't like/see the point of cash registries. These companies get a percentage of the money when most of the contributors would just give you a check and cut out the middle man anyway. You could also try to have your immediate family spread through word of mouth that you guys are trying to save for a house. We are in a similar position, and would definitely appreciate the cash more. However, I figure, if people get us physical gifts, we will need to fill that house with stuff anyway. That and we have an apartment now, so I mostly only registered for stuff we need/could use now.
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  • Christine
    Savvy October 2019
    Christine ·
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    @Hannah, I live on Long Island, so it's the same here with gifts at a shower and cash at a wedding. I didn't want to sign up for an online fund for that very reason, I'd rather get all of the gift than a percentage. I have registered for things we need now as we also share an apartment, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing something that was weird by not having my registry visible for the wedding guests.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    That's perfectly fine--even traditional. Before wedding websites, registry information was provided only a) in shower invitations, and b) to people who actually asked for it.

    And not having a registry available to wedding guests is a lot better than having a honeymoon fund. The rule is that a registry is only to allow those guests who want to give you a gift to know what you'd like, not to solicit gifts. Since your guests already know you'd like cash (everyone does), you don't need a registry to tell them you want cash, so the only function of a cash registry would be to solicit gifts. And a honeymoon fund is the equivalent of cash--you don't actually get specific things, they just send you the cash. Plus, if your guests give you cash, you get all of it; if they contribute to a honeymoon fund, the fund will take part of the money.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    We have an Amazon registry. Right before the shower (maybe 1 month), I added a lot of lower priced gifts under $40. They were almost all purchased for the shower. After the shower, I deleted the ones we didn't want or could buy ourselves. So we have a registry but it's smaller than our guest list for sure. Amazon also lets you add gift cards!

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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    I didn’t remove my registry from existence after the shower, but, I only made a small registry. We made sure there was plenty for all the shower invitees to choose from, but beyond that we didn’t add tons of extra stuff. A large percentage was bought for our shower, and we didn’t add anything more to it, but there were still odds and ends available. I would think it would be odd to take it down entirely before the wedding, but I don’t think you need to keep it large to accommodate every guest.

    I was glad for those odds and ends, by the way. While we preferred (and received) mostly cash, a few people took advantage of the registry — all of which were particular circumstances: a few of the gifts we received were smaller items, and I suspect these people preferred to give a physical gift as they didn’t have very much to give, so gifting something they knew we wanted felt more substantial than the same value in a small check (I know this was how I operated when attending weddings in my [broke] early 20s); we also had a few people who didn’t know us particularly well, and they all opted for physical gifts, guess they just didn’t feel comfortable with a check given our relationship. So, it’s nice to have *something* available. I check back before the wedding and made sure I had about 5 “just in case”
    options available... but I certainly was no where near a “gift for every guest!” On the registry
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    One registry for everything, it's okay to ask for cash imo
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  • Vanessa
    Expert September 2019
    Vanessa ·
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    Typically, registries are for bridal/wedding showers only. People give money for the wedding day.
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  • Mrs. Juliana
    Dedicated August 2019
    Mrs. Juliana ·
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    This is what we are doing. My bridal shower is Sunday and I plan on deleting the registry after that.
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