Does the moh plan the bridal shower alone?

Whoever is hosting the shower should be the one to plan it. You can’t accept someone’s offer to throw a party for you then dictate how they do it.

The host of the shower can take your preferences into consideration if she wants but I’ve never participated in hosting a shower where the bride helped as much as you’re suggesting you want to. The most the brides have been involved in is guest list and food preference (brunch or lunch, maybe restaurant selection if she wanted). You’ve told her what you want and now I think you should let it go.

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I agree with this. I think the only exception to this is when the things planned would cause you serious physical, mental, or emotional distress..... as in to the point of having to be heavily medicated in the case of a true, diagnosed panic disorder.

I didn't have anything to do with my shower. No one asked my opinion on what I would like served, decorations or games to be played. I just showed up. If anyone had asked, I would have said to leave me out of it. Look at it as one thing you don't have to worry about planning! You're the guest of honor at this event not the host.

I had nothing to do with any aspects of both of our couples showers besides telling my food preference.

The only things I’ve been asked were who I wanted to invite and a few things I like to eat. Other than that, they ran the date past me and I have no idea what else will happen!

My sister and sister in law are planning one for me, I didn't initially want one. I said we could just have a nice lunch somewhere but my sister in law insisted we have it at her house, which is large and beautiful. My FH told me to just relax and enjoy it, they're paying for everything and it's one less thing I have to worry about planning.

I'm type A but flexible too. I let my bridesmaids plan it but I 100% said what I'd prefer and they generally went with it but they definitely added their own flavor and it came out nicely
I honestly helped set up the shower too and provided some things but it was moreso because I just wanted to be helpful.
I'm sure whatever happens it'll end up nice and you'll enjoy it

Whoever is hosting the shower plans it. They’re hosting and paying. You’re literally just supposed to show up. You shouldn’t be helping plan at all unless you are hosting it for yourself and footing your own bill.

My fsil's and fmil are planning a bridal shower for me. Only part I had was giving some dates of availability and guest information. Tge rest is up to them. You aren't supposed to be planning it.

In general the bride gives ideas but you can't force it. You can either not have a shower or have your sister plan it.

Typically all shower decisions are made by the person hosting the shower, unless they ask for outside help.

A shower can be planned and paid for by any one person or any group who volunteer, whether in the bridal party, it a close friend who is not. Or any close female relative. Or any of the women in groom's family may host one to welcome the bride to their family. . . . If more than one hostess is involved, no single person ( like a MOH) can just make all decisions, then expect anyone else to share the cost. If she is making all decisions without consulting any other hostesses, then she does all the work, and pays. Which is fine, lots of individuals throw showers. If she is doing all planning and expects others to pay, she needs to think again . . . . However, once someone volunteers to throw a shower, one person or a group, the bride may accept the offer or decline. But not make any decisions about the party that is in her honor. It is not her party to plan, at all,. No rough draft, no suggestions that were not asked for by planning people. So fully expect that having listened to your suggestions, the hostess or hostesses will now do exactly as they or she want. That is good manners. Bad manners is any bride ( or birthday person, graduate, any person getting a party thrown by others, ) trying to get her way about details. So decline the shower entirely. Or accept the gift as it is, a shower planned as the hostess wants it. Put your energy into planning your wedding, where you and your FI are hosts. It would be rude for anyone to push their plans on you for your wedding. It would be rude of you to plan a wedding your MOH it others plan for you. No dictating what gifts you are getting from others is standard etiquette, and that is what a party not given by you, but hosted by someone else in your honor, is: their gift. They choose every detail. You say nothing, and make an effort to stop controlling others, which you point out is a character flaw of yours. Yes, MOH can and should do it her way, not yours.