Does This Sound Like a Wedding You Would Enjoy?

Not sure that I, personally, would enjoy a puzzle to figure out where to sit but it sounds like you know your crowd. The blow up axe throwing sounds like a blast LOL and karaoke is always fun. As for food - sorry, I have to agree with others that the deli meats/cheee just isn't filling enough. So .... I did a bit of research. We have Publix here, and they have deli platters that are amazing. For roughly $425 you can get .... 2 sub trays (that will serve 50 people total) 2 wrap trays (50 people total) 2 "pizza roll-up" trays (50 people) and 2 croissant trays with deli salads (tuna, etc) also serving 50 people. Get a silly jar and toss dollar bills, extra change, etc into it, and in 4 years? you'll definitely have that $400 and maybe even more!! Publix also does hot foods, and catering, so I would certainly check out your local supermarket to see what they might offer and then budget accordingly.

I think you'll need to make it clear that you're not serving dinner if you start at 7 pm. Even 7:30 might be confusing for guests. I personally would push everything to 8 pm, and invite people for 8 pm.

Do you have equipment to keep cold items cold (like the meat and cheese) and hot ones hot, like chafing dishes? Food safety is important, and as this is self-catered will be something to focus on.

Is there any way to invite less people and cover more food/maybe wine + beer for guests?

The best way to save money is to invite less people.

Definitely make sure that you advise people you are not serving dinner. That is really going to make it a tight turnaround for people who get off work, go home and change, head to the venue, and if they find out they aren't being served a meal, you may have some hangry people on your hands. Nix the cash bar-it isn't polite. Guests should never have to open their wallets at an event that is supposed to be hosted.

if you are going to self-cater, you will also need insurance for the event.

Now, I am going to be the devil's advocate here, OP- I understand that you want to have a party to celebrate, however, if you are that financially strapped, a party should not be at the top of your priority list. With 4 kids, do you have an adequate emergency fund set up to sustain your expenses for 6 months? A trip to the courthouse will be more fiscally responsible.

All of this!

I agree with this. I'm big on hosting etiquette, and providing an appropriate meal for your guests is more important than any activities or decor. I don't think that pushing the start time back a half hour will negate the need for a full meal. That's likely not what you want to hear, however it's the right way to treat your guests.

I would also see if you can arrange to store the food properly in the venue's kitchen until it's time for dinner to be served instead of leaving everything out on the tables ahead of time. Things may happen on the day of that will push back the timeline of everything and the food may not be at the proper temperature the whole time.

With four children, and your self described financial situation as "poor" I would prioritize the divorce and a marriage now that can provide you and your children with advantages and protections that work both ways over a party in four years.

On top of being able to afford it, and by that I mean a lot more than just being able to pay for it, I would not be planning anything this far in advance. Tastes and preferences change, venues can go out of business or change management, and with a growing family you may find yourself with other, more important demands on your budget.

If you were to go ahead as outlined, though, there are things I'd find problematic as a guest. To me an evening affair implies a dinner. I've been to plenty of weddings where the main meal was served well after 8 though there was usually also a cocktail hour spread to tide people over so no one went hungry. Regardless, if you want to serve deli meat and cheese, IMO a luncheon is much more appropriate.

I'm not sure who is being asked to give up the meal at the reception for a photoshoot but that's not very considerate, even to your own children.

In my experience people just want to find their seats and their tables, not solve riddles. I'd skip that idea. Themes are not necessary, and TBH the only theme I truly appreciate and enjoy as a guest is "marriage" but if you are set on one it shouldn't involve something that guests must solve or do.

Your witnesses should not be asked or expected to set up or clean up at your wedding. That's your job or the job of someone you hire.

A cash bar is inappropriate regardless of your guest's feelings of entitlement to whatever drink they want. A wedding is a private function, not their local bar or restaurant. Limit what you offer and host what you can afford, even if you are pressured otherwise. Being a host means guests do not pay.

If the room is too large you may not get the party vibe you want. You need a room that is the right size for the number of people, otherwise you'll be floating in space. Likewise, all the games and activities are unnecessary. If people are leaving the main area to participate the room may look even emptier. Adults can be presumed capable of socializing for a few hours without all that.

Better yet, skip the party, save it for your children and your own future, and host an anniversary party one day if and when you are in better financial shape.

All of this. 100%. A party really needs to be the furthest thing from her plans.