Does wedding planning make any one else stressed?

View Quoted Comment It might but that's okay lol. See if he will compromise recording it so others can watch live. I feel like if you're compromising having a small wedding, maybe he can compromise on that!

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May. My friend understood I just still feel bad not much I can do. She said she will watch the video and see pics but still I just feel bad. It is me.

View Quoted Comment Well if she understands that's perfect.

Girl, I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Tbh, the last few weeks before the wedding are the most chaotic emotionally and planning wise, especially given the current times. I still think you should sneak her into the restaurant area with some binoculars or something so she can watch, but I get being frustrated about the anxiety. At the very least you can show her the video. Trust me, the leaving people out is horrible. We got married with no one else there, then our minimony still didn't have his family and the livestream lady flaked on the youtube stream. Please don't feel guilty. You're doing the best you can with messy situations, and your day will be beautiful no matter how it shakes out.

Are you also planning a larger celebration later? Maybe he can see a therapist for his anxiety because if he wont even let his father be at his wedding that signals an issue. They also do have medications for things like this that are pretty effective

I’m sorry :/ I hope things get better!
But yeah, I know when I was planning, there were a lot of moments of headaches. But it really is all worth it in the end when you see the work you put into making that beautiful memory with your spouse

Is there anyway that you could practice before the wedding? Have your friend present and rehearse your ceremony so that FH feels comfortable with her in the room.

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I believe you so I figured I may be a ball of emotion ha ha ha. I asked her if she would like to come for the cake cutting but she said that is ok. I know she gets it but I still can't help but feel bad. Like you said I feel horrible leaving people out. I know I should not feel guilty you are right but I do feel like I need to make both parties happy. Thanks for the encouraging words.

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No bigger ceremony. I wish. I may try to do a small party for friends and if his family come down I would like to take them to dinner or do it at our house. I told him if his dad host Christmas this year we are going. He has pills and I am about to tell him to take extra for the day and suck it up lol.

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LOL funny you say headache because I have one right now ha ha. I know the day will be beautiful and honestly I am excited for it. I sometimes do wish we had more people to share with too. It is hard because of course I do not want him to feel anxious more than normal lol on the day but at the same time I want to say dude get over it which I know is selfish of me. I just feel bad because the only thing I can think to do is have her watch from a distance and then join us for the cocktail hour but I feel bad having her do that because I would not properly treat her as a guest you know?

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Nope. The venue isn't close and for a rehearsal would be more money for the venue and the officiant. Anytime I have wanted more people he just says what happened to it being about us two in a frustrated tone so I know even asking for her to be there would be awkward. Even if he knows the people he hates eyes on him. I think he would be okay with her coming for the cocktail hour but I know she wants to see the ceremony. I feel bad for that.

View Quoted Comment I meant more at home in private. Do your feelings count in your discussions? It's a 2 way street and by saying what he does in a frustrated tone completely belittles your own feelings. He doesn't have to agree with you, but he should at least acknowledge your feelings and how hard this is for you to not have the people closest to you there.

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No he does which is why we are having my friend and her hubby and big bro there. If he had his way he would have gone to the courthouse. He is ultimately doing a ceremony with me and getting dressed up. He is not a wedding person and he is not one to have attention on him at all. I think he feels he has considered my feelings and given me a ceremony with two photographers at a venue I love and me trying to add more people which ups his anxiety makes it worse. Honestly, I was fine until she asked and then I just felt bad.

I think being stressed and having breakdowns is inevitable, especially planning a wedding with COVID-19. I have been there. I've had days where I didn't want to think or talk about the wedding. I just wanted the day to come and be over with. So many people were thinking of themselves and not about us. You can't please them all, but you shouldn't feel bad about that either. Its life.


Is it possible that you guys have a video taken of the ceremony? Maybe even livestream it? Therefore, the people that want to watch can and your FH is at ease?

Yes, even reading stories on here makes my stress and anxiety level increase sometimes lol. I threw the towel in and gave up on pleasing othets and finding the perfect wedding gown.

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Yeah I guess it is. I know it is because I want to make everyone happy and of course I think as brides we tend to have high expectations of the day. I feel like that right now where I just want the day over. I have had moments of forget all this let's just file the marriage license no ceremony ha ha ha. I am trying to think of the cake we get so that keeps me going lol. I know the day will be great and I am excited but yeah the stressful, guilty moments make it hard. We will video the ceremony and he is okay with that so I will share the pics and videos with close friends and family.

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LOL I know. I told my MOH I am so lucky to have her. She is my best friend for a reason but she is logical and has calmed me when I have had breakdowns. She even suggested a spa massage and is coming with me to get my nails done which I appreciate her doing that. She is seriously God sent. I agree sometimes the stories stress me out too. I know you are right that I cannot please everyone. I wish I could have my friend there and she is understanding. I just feel bad because of the situation I could not have her even as a guest you know?

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Same here lol! But we decided on this wedding for a reason. We will not let any outsiders take that way from us.
I'm glad you found a solution! You're almost there! You can make it. Because of all the stress, my fiance and I made rules for the day of. They all include no negativity, looking at the positives, and enjoying the day. Maybe you guys can make some similar rules

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Those are the rules for the honeymoon...mostly his rule is no attitude from me if I get annoyed lol. I know the day will be great I think I am making myself overthink and anxious over little things. I doubt men get stressed by any of this ha ha. All he has to worry about is getting a nice suit but he waited late so that is on him lol.