Donate to honeymoon instead of registry?

We are using honeyfund

You're not going to get much support on here about using a honeymoon fund.

We’re thinking the same thing. We’ve put so much thought into our wedding that we kind of put the honeymoon to the side. I like the idea of our guests having a choice. So far, the donations thing has worked, but that was for close friends and immediate family. I’m not sure how to put in on a wedding shower invitation. If anyone has any ideas, I’m all ears...

View Quoted Comment Yeah, that's kinda what gets me too. It's still kinda a new thing. I don't really know how to put that on an invite. Maybe make it into a list of registries and treat the honeymoon fund as a registry? But that might be confusing also...

My experience is most people will bring a card with their "gift" (most often cash or a check, in the card) to the wedding or possibly send it in the mail before or after the ceremony. As the frequent posts about the pros & cons of "honeyfund" type registries often point out, many find "honeyfund" vendors, who take a cut of the intended gift, to be a less desirable way to give a gift than just writing a check. When I write a check I know you'll receive 100% of what I wanted to give you.

Whether people will tell the B&G directly or not, many find honeyfund-type registries less desirable and/or rude. (I'm not saying you're rude; I'm just pointing out that it may not be an appealing choice for your guests. Those with more "conventional" views on etiquette may be inclined to think it's rude because it is "asking for money," which, traditionally, has been viewed as inappropriate.)

Another reason, as a guest, I would not give a gift through a honeyfund site (or really any online vendor I don't feel super confident about) is because of concerns I have about identity theft. How do I know the vendor won't steal or sell my credit card information? For the same reason, I never give online to GoFundMe or other crowd funding sites. If I want to give a gift or make a donation, I always write a check directly to the person rather than give my credit card info to a website I don't really know anything about. Just another reason to consider not doing a "honeyfund."

If you don't register for gifts, or have a small registry, most guests will likely give you cash which you can then use for anything, including a honeymoon.

View Quoted Comment

You really can't ask for cash at a wedding shower. Showers are all about physical gifts.

To the OP-A simple search of old threads will get you all the information you need.

What about, instead of having a honeymoon donation for the shower, having a decorated box at the check in table at the ceremony for the honeymoon fund? Lots of people bring 2 gifts: one for the shower and one for the wedding itself.

Maybe make a goodie bag with thank you cards inside to hand out at the wedding shower that politely mentions the honeymoon donations drop box at the ceremony’s check in table.

Anyone think this will work?

There’s no polite way to ask for money. Honeyfunds will take a cut, so I personally don’t and won’t use them - I’d prefer to give you cash. Just have a very small registry and people will get the message.

However, you can’t do this if you’re planning on having a shower - at least a traditional shower, because that’s about boxed gifts. Personally I love the idea of a recipe shower where guests write out their favourite recipe on a card so you can put them all together in a binder and have a stack of tried and tested delicious recipes to try.

View Quoted Comment

It is not uncommon to have a "card" box at the wedding reception. People bring cards. Those cards often contain a check or cash.

But NO, you cannot hand out cards at a wedding shower, where you have just been showered with gifts, reminding guests that you would like more gifts and specifically, cash.

It may come as a surprise to you, but weddings are not considered a gift giving occasion, like a shower. Wedding gifts are purely optional. It is never polite to ASK for gifts of any sort, especially cash.

We are still in the process of wedding planning, but the big day is coming up, April 21!

We set up both a gift registry at Bed Bath & Beyond, as well as a Zola honeymoon fund.

I am nervous that no one will donate and we will be out of luck. But, because we only registered for one place, we put it right alongside the gift registry. This way our guests can decide what they want to do, and either way we get the things we need/want. On the wedding website under "Registry" it has a drop down menu that lists "BB&B" and "Honeymoon donations" so that it is obvious as for the card in the invitation we just said; "They are registered at BB&B and have set up a honeymoon fund on Zola."

On our wedding website, I added a blurb about how because we already live together (we own a home together), we don't have too many needs, but have a few "updating wants". But in addition to those wants, and since my fiance works a very demanding job we'd like to have some time alone out of our daily routine and would like to enjoy his time off and that we could use their help to do that.

We have a friend and a family member who went the donation route, and it worked out really well for them, so we decided to give it a try.

View Quoted Comment That is a valid point. I like your idea of a “card” box at the reception. I think we’ll do something like that and just roll with it. Thank you for your help!

It is poor ettiquette to ask for money. Wedding gifts are actually not mandatory for guests to give. A lavish honeymoon isn't necessary for a happy, long marriage. Go on the honeymoon you can afford, not the crazy one the wedding world tells you you need.

Also, honeyfunds takes a portion of the money.

You are not a charity, monetary gifts are not donations.

View Quoted Comment All of this! Also I agree with PP who said to search old posts about this.

Don't ask for money....EW!! Pay for your own vacation/honeymoon and allow adults to decide what they will graciously give you as a wedding gift.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t have a $1700 dress or a $25k wedding. My ring didn’t cost $3k. I took a honeymoon I could afford. This was my 2nd wedding so I didn’t have a registry or a shower. We were grateful for the gifts (monetary and physical) given to us at our wedding, but I am not owed a vacation from my guests simply because I hosted them at a reception.

Let's all be nice & supportive ladies!
This is a big time in all of our lives. Obviously, not all of us have the same opinion.
As a couple we decided not to accept wedding gifts & give all money to a local charitie. It doesn't seem right to register for gifts when we have everything we need... each other! (We both have good paying jobs & don't wish for anything.) We are simply inviting gust to witness our love & comment to each other. Honestly, we'd perfer just the two of us in front of God. (My mom has threatened my life if we elope...lol)
BEST advice I've been given so far.....focus on the God part more than all of the glitter!
Best wishes to all!!

Girl, same! I'm still on the hunt for a best website to do this. Our idea is to do a small traditional registry of gifts and the rest being contributions for honeymoon/housebuying.

Good luck!

View Quoted Comment I thought about doing that. But me and my fiance already live together and have a toddler. We don't really need anything. A lot of these sites charge the guests for their donations, which I don't find right at all. My fiance suggested we do a GoFundMe account and do it that way, but I don't know about that either.
Good luck to you also!