I was legally married in a minimony last month. I had always wanted a big wedding and my family really wanted me to have a big event, so I started planning a big event again. But it is just making me so unhappy.
I was planning to have the party this year so that it isn't too far from our marriage date, maybe for Fall when the pandemic is a bit better, but every venue is booked. I had booked my dream venue for our original date last year, but it isn't available this year or even for most of next year. I was so set on that venue that now I don't know what I want. I have tried to find some available venues like it, but every time I show my family, they say the venues look cheap and that I'm better off getting married in a tented venue outside on the water (which I have never wanted, I believe it can be very beautiful but it just isn't me). I feel like I can't find a venue that is nice enough and that won't draw criticism/contempt from my family.
When I told my dad this, he suggested I get married in a destination wedding like my cousin did so that I can find a nicer venue that people will want to go to. I have two other family weddings this fall, and both will be at the most expensive venues in their respective towns. My parents feel a lot of pressure to host the same type of event (in my family/culture, they are hosting the wedding, not me, and it wouldn't be appropriate for me to take over hosting it). So I'm stuck planning this wedding that seems impossible to plan, that I'm not excited about, and that I feel will just be mocked by the family members who do attend as not being nice enough.
I always wanted to have a big party to celebrate with people, but after the pandemic and everything that has happened, I just don't want it anymore. It feels anti-climactic because I'm already married, and the family pressure is making me not want to celebrate with my family at all.
Sorry for the long post. I think I could just use some insight or support because I'm so down about this and feel trapped by expectations for this event.
