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Just Said Yes November 2022

Don’t want to invite my friends boyfriend to the wedding

Katelyn, on August 19, 2021 at 6:39 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7
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Hi! I have a predicament. I don’t want to invite my friends boyfriend to my wedding. Both my fiancé and I can’t stand him, as he has always been rude to us. In the past, he attacked me on social media calling me names that i cannot even write on here, and telling me and my fiancé to burn in he*l (it took him a year to give me a half a*sed apology for this). He is rude to my friend when we are together, especially when he is drinking. She is one of my best friends and I want to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, but have a feeling she will turn it down if her boyfriend is not invited. He is supposedly proposing soon, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they were married before my wedding. My fiancé and I only want people at the wedding who love us and support our relationship, and we know he doesn’t and I fear that he will cause issues. How do I go about breaking this news to her?

7 Comments

Latest activity by Pirate & 60s Bride, on August 20, 2021 at 9:05 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Unless boyfriend is racist or abusive, you must invite couples who identify themselves as such together and it is not your place to judge the validity of it. . You can’t ask someone to celebrate your relationship while disrespecting theirs.


    Because he is disrespectful, I would not allow him to attend. Is your friend aware of his verbal abuse and hostility toward you?
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    It would be extremely disrespectful to expect her to come celebrate your relationship and disregard hers especially if they are engaged or married at the time of your wedding. So while he might not be your face person I would still invite him.
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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    If he's called you names and told your FH to burn in hell, that's abusive behavior.


    I'd first consider whether you're willing to have your friend not attend at all. If so, then talk to her about why you don't want him there. But be ready to have her not attend either.
    I question your friend's judgment as to why she would stay with someone like this, and she needs to know being tied to him will alienate others.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    You really can't avoid inviting him without losing the friendship. He sounds like a peach, but if he acts up at the wedding you can ask him to leave. If he's abusive to her, he may be trying to alienate her from her closest allies. Don't let that happen. She's probably going to need you.

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  • Emilia
    Super June 2019
    Emilia ·
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    Hi ! Does your friend know how he behaves...? And she says nothing about it...? You could maybe arrange things before your wedding, talk to your friend about your fears, maybe not about the non-invitation right away...

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    It sounds like he’s disruptive in public, no manners and verbally abusive to your friend, and I’d have no qualms about not inviting him.
    The deeper issue is - will she be able to come if he’s not invited? It is highly likely he is abusive to her. So, if she goes to your wedding without him, she may pay for it.

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    This is one case where I’d say SO is not invited. His unstable and toxic behavior is unacceptable. I’d have a conversation with your friend but I would rather not invite a friend who tolerates an SO who acts that way.
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