Drama Creator...

I don't understand how this person was ever a friend to begin with, and not only that but a bridesmaid? I would never have a "friend" who spoke to me that way. What are you torn about exactly? I get that sometimes you don't want to "end a friendship" but obviously this person isn't behaving like a friend at all. And doesn't seem like she ever has (based on what you said about her kicking you out)

View Quoted Comment I agree, I wouldn’t have made her a bridesmaid in the first place with the way she acted with you being a bridesmaid.
I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that. But I think if you kick her out of the bridal party completely then I feel like the friendship will end as well.

Wow... that is a lot to deal with. I think it was very nice of you to let her know that she could step down if it was too much stress, showing that you care about your friend and her well being. But honestly all that extra stuff and name calling if that is not the type of friendship yall have i would just let her know... I don't know where we go with this friendship from here, but i know that i don't need any extra stress leading up to my wedding. So i think that it would be best if i just take you out the wedding party. I hope you understand and maybe when you are ready we can actually TALK about what happened and see how to mend this friendship. Planning a wedding is stressful, you don't have time for temper tatrums and friends that are suppose to be encouraging you through this to be acting crazy. Hope this helps

Sorry you are going through this. As many have stated on these forums, asking someone to step down from your bridal party often ends the friendship. If you are ok with that, then ask her to step down.

However, if you want to remain friends with this woman, I would keep things as they are. It's never fun dealing with drama, but some people just can't live without it. They are who they are, and are not likely to change.

If you decide to keep her in the bridal party, I would just ignore this behavior. She's basically throwing a tantrum, like a little kid, and you should not give it any energy. The more you do, the worse it will get. If she doesn't want to discuss the party with anyone, or attend, that's her problem. It sounds like the rest of your bridal party has the planning under control, and they don't need an immature young woman messing it up. So, ignore her behavior, and don't share any more wedding planning details with her. If she wants to grow up and be part of the group in planning, she'll do it on her own. You shouldn't have to be chasing after her, convincing her to come around to the others' way of thinking.

You have more important things to worry about than her drama. Good luck!

Serious question: Does your friend have any type of chemical imbalance or condition like bipolar? That, in my opinion, would be the only way to explain some of her behavior. Regardless, it sounds like she isn't respecting boundaries. Based on what you've said, I would most certainly reiterate the boundaries and let her know (via text if that's what it takes) that these are the boundaries and if you can't respect them, then she will be removed from the wedding party. I'm not sure what makes grown folks act like they have no sense if they don't have a medical condition. I'm so sorry that you are going through this but everyone is not cut out to be part of your wedding party. I think everyone would agree with that. *peace and blessings*

Thank you all for the advice thus far!

Because we had made up in the past, I tried to give her another chance to be a part of something big in my life. I love our friendship when things are going well, but any time there is a conflict or discussion, she doesn't handle it well. I think this is just another flaw in her way of communication.

My hope is that she will actually communicate with me verbally/face to face about all this and we can try to get past it. But, if she is going to continue to only communicate with me through texts, I just can't do that.

As far as if she is bipolar or has a chemical imbalance, I am not sure. I have wondered this in the past because this is her way of going about any sort of bump in the road.

I have considered just ignoring the petty/childish behavior and letting her stay in the bridal party, but what kind of enjoyment is that really? For myself or her..

I would ignore her behavior and just let her stay in the bridal party. If you ask her to step down, you are basically ending the friendship. If you leave her in, and she voluntarily steps down (due to stress/awkwardness) then that isn't on you. I would try to be the bigger person here.

She sounds like the typical "all about me" type of girl. She is neglecting the fact this she is in YOUR wedding. I would suggest asking her to not be a part of it if she is already causing drama and sour feelings. You want your day to be memorable for all the right reasons

Wow sounds like she just likes drama. I would think carefully before asking her to step down. But if it's going to take away from you and FH on your day then definitely ask her to step down.

I know you mentioned about hoping one day she'll communicate with you better, but honestly she hasn't in the past and the way she is now, she doesn't see an issue so she won't change. You need those who are going to support you, especially on your big day, she seems like an attention seeking person who will put themselves first before anyone else gets a chance. If she really cared about your wedding, she would have sucked it up and worked with your family instead of stressing you out. Truth be told I'm not a huge fan of my friend's wedding party (only one I know, she's my other friend as well) most of them are aggressive and heavy drinkers. But I learned to endure it because it's for my friend and it's not a me situation.

I agree with everyone. Booting her from the wedding party will make her even more angry and end your friendship, but she seems like she's burdening you more than she is helping. If she acts like this now, imagine her as you get closer to the wedding and on that day!

In a nutshell: she let you know she was stressed and anxious re the party planning, you rightly suggested she step back from the planning so she wouldn't have the stress and anxiety. She proceeded to throw a monster of a tantrum and ultimately decided to do exactly what you suggested. You then reached out several times and ways to try to resolve things and she's refused all of your attempts. At this point officially ending the friendship might cause even more drama and stress for you. I'd stop all attempts at contact. The ball's in her court and it's up to her to reach out. If she shows up to the wedding, great; if not, that's great, too. I had a friend like this, too. For a very long time I kept making excuses for her, attempting to appease her, etc., for literally years. When I finally decided to just stop, I had such a sense of relief I was astounded. I hadn't been cognizant of the negative impact she had on me for most of my life to that point.

Sending my wishes for a beautiful wedding your way!

You guys helped me after reading this based on my current situation. Seriously everyone here should be therapist :-). How do you suggest handling a crazy FMIL?? Read my recent post.

Big ego, no manners. Her behavior is completely unacceptable under any circumstances. Write her a letter, or write her a text, since she is refusing other communications. Say quite clearly, that she has been acting more like a tantrumming child than a mature adult. And there is no place in your life, much less in your wedding party, for someone with her bad behavior. Then say, I now longer want you to be any part of my wedding.

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Thankfully this is no longer a problem! It was a bit of a blow up but the stress is finally gone. I'm 2 days away and couldn't be more excited!