Dream wedding not possible so why bother

Ignoring everyone else, sit down with your FH and try and find things you both agree on for the vision of the wedding

if this is truly the guy for you and everyone else is just causing problems then consider a destination wedding with very few guests

Ditto to the advice above. Sit down with your FH and figure out what the two of you want. I would start with the budget first. The budget will dictate what you can and can't do. I'm having a masquerade ball too. It won't be in a castle though. If you need help with the planning let me know.

Try to focus on the MARRIAGE more than the wedding!! You're marrying the love of your life... the big party is just icing on the cake. Try to come to a middle ground and hopefully what you get is still your dream come true!!

My husband's first wedding was in a castle in Germany. They got divorced 5 years later.

A super elaborate wedding does not always equal a good marriage - especially since it's causing so much drama.

"paperwork has be fike cuz fiancee Jewish like I don't wanna do anything anymore. "

i'm sorry...what??

I agree with everyone but this was very hard to understand

Um what haha

I smell bullshit.

I smell bullshit.

Please don't hate me - I'm not trying to be the grammar police (even though I am an English teacher). But I do agree - the lack of punctuation, subject/verb agreement, and proofreading did make it difficult to understand.

Sorry about the poor typing but its very difficult to type especially proper English on mobile device especially since freezes ALOT in middle of typing.

What I meant by paperwork must be filled out is we are marrying at a church and because of the different faiths we are required by Catholic church to file for what I believe they call disponsation.

I agree the marriage is more important and have come to realize that in my frustrations of not going to be able do alot I wanted. Thats why I rather give FH control over wedding because I rather not fight over it because the marriage is more important. He decided he wanted choose the bridesmaid dresses and favors! I feel like my dress,our catering hall and the church is only things I have been allowed to be involved in. Im over wedding planning and want my life back.

Most hurtful part is not having my father dance with me just because he's shy.

Awww to you. Genuinely feel sad about your frustration. I too have had early disappointment in the planning process. This morning my FH says to me that he didn't realize wedding rings were that important after the $$$ he spent on my engagement ring. I was like "Huh??" Hasn't he ever heard of the ring and vow exchange?? I seriously had to question him if I was marrying the right guy here ... its little things like that he is clueless about that crushes my dreams of the wedding day. I hope it all works out for you. I have started to have lower expectations about the day and picking my battles on the dreams I will be giving up. DO take control of the situation, it sounds like you have had your visions and dreams of this day so don't do anything you will regret just because other people are trying to control your happiness and your once in a lifetime day.

If I was in your position, I would plan a small ceremony/reception, no wedding party, have a KICK ASS dress (think Belle in the gold dress, but white), not give a damn about colors, and see if your dad will dance in front of a small crowd. If not, maybe arrange a private dance (like at the time after the ceremony, when most people take pics. You could literally play a song from your phone....if that's what it takes to dance with your dad ).

That is a genuine "awww I feel bad that you are so frustrated and HUGS to you. For whatever reason it didn't go through ... ?? DO take control. It sounds like you have had some visions and dreams of what your day would be like so don't let anyone take that away from you (of course your FH can contribute ideas). I sympathize with your frustration on different levels. During this early planning phase I have already come to the realization that many of my dreams will be crushed. This morning my FH was giving me a ride to work and we were discussing wedding bands/rings and he said to me: "what do you mean, are they necessary?" And "I didn't think that you (meaning me) would need a wedding band where I spent so much on your engagement ring" I was very disappointed that I had to remind him of the wedding vows and the exchange of rings during a wedding ceremony. I seriously asked him if I was marrying the right person right then and there after this revelation ... disappointing. I further asked myself is this a glimpse of what the rest of the wedding planning is going to be like? I think we do have to take control and enlighten people at times. Some people just don't get it.

North Pole? Well, it is Friday...

I would love to downgrade and understand I need to and Im ok with not having my dream castle but some things like dad not dancing or feeling like my opinions don't count I'm not.My FH told me he refuses wear his wedding band because he works in rough area even though its cheap and of course Im not fan of that. I suggested a small wedding with friend marrying us or city hall and then small intimate meal and my MIL &FH freaked out so I'm not allowed to. So I have to spend $,time & energy for wedding of almost none of my dreams and I am the bad guy. I just don't care anymore. Its bothered me all week.

You're right. Why bother? You should probably just elope since you are already looking at it with that attitude, though I'm not sure if Santa is ordained or not. Maybe your FH can tattoo a wedding band on his finger since he doesn't want to actually wear anything.

I think you can have parts of what you want, with realistic expectations that maybe you can't get a castle or your dad will not do a dance. Stop talking about the wedding with anyone but your fiance. Make a list of priorities and a budget. Come up with options for decor and show them to FH, since it's his wedding too. Once you have a gameplan, then you may consider bringing others into it.

It is most important to be a united front with your fiance. That means that you need to ask hom what he wants.

Also, don't get too upaet about the ring thing. My FIL doesn't like rings and rarely wears it but it doesn't make him less married or less devoted.