Dress Drama Part 2

Why are you so opposed to her not wearing a dress? She clearly does not feel comfortable wearing one. Hayley Paige, among other designers, make beautiful wedding jumpsuits for bridesmaids in many color options. If you want your sister as a BM, she deserves to feel comfortable in what she is wearing.

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I'm definitely not opposed to her not wearing a dress! Its more of the concept that she is making the wardrobe decisions for my other bridesmaids who want to wear dresses. I'm not going to force my bridesmaids to wear rompers if they don't want to same as I won't force her to wear a dress.

So I wrote a whole spiel about how you should just remove her. BUT I would like to know more about her side of the story first (sorry it’s my personality lol)


What is her reason for not wanting to wear a dress? Is this her lifestyle/sexuality? Or is she just a tomboy? Or does she just not like dresses?
Because I feel like dresses are just as feminine as rompers. No? They don’t provide any more coverage, they’re literally just a dress with a split lol

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She simply does not like dresses. Never been given a reason by her as to why. Honestly I was thinking the same thing about rompers. In doing some research, there honestly is no difference from what I could see and there definitely are some beautiful rompers that are potential options. I don't want to ask her to step down, but I have a feeling if I personally pick out a romper that matches the color of the dresses, she isn't going to like it either.

I made myself very unhappy during the planning process trying to please everyone, and at the end of the day, you can't please them all. This is your day, what you say goes. In my opinion, your sister seems a little immature to be a part of the bridal party. Bridesmaids are supposed to help you during the process, not make it more difficult. Could she possibly compromise and wear the dress for the ceremony and change for the reception? Other than that, if I were you, I'd kick her out. She can wear her romper and watch from the crowd (win win). In reference to your mom, sometimes you have to respectfully put your foot down. Or atleast explain your side of things.

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I agree with you. At the end of the day, I am going to have to draw the line and did have that idea in mind where she can wear the dress for ceremony/pictures then change after dinner. A friend of mine did that for her wedding!

View Quoted Comment Okay then here is my original spiel: Kick her out. Sounds harsh but if her AND your mother can’t just let you have ONE THING, they don’t need to be apart of this journey. I searched your page for the first post and it looks like she’s been a sourpuss from the get go. It’s not that your sister needs to “compromise” she needs to shut up and look the way you tell her to look because it’s your day and honestly she only needs to be in the dress for the photos, ceremony and speeches. For the dancing she could change and no one would notice.

Your mental health is more important. Idk if she’s helping you plan anything or contributing in any way but it definitely sounds like she’s helping to stress you out.

But since you don’t want to kick her out and you don’t think she’ll like what you pick, Maybe have a conversation with her and tell her how’s shes been making you feel but you would like for her to feel confortable. Tell her you have been problematic, rude and not supportive since the beginning. But I want you to feel supported (which is how you should be making me feel) so go ahead and pick five romper options in this specific color, send them over to me and I will take them into consideration. I have other things to worry about and your outfits are not at the top of my list at the moment but when the time comes I will look at your options and make a decision.

View Quoted Comment I think people should look at the bigger picture of the wedding, especially in the times that we're living in. It's not about the dress or this or that, it's about two people coming together as one with Christ. There's no need to start drama. Planning a wedding is already stressful enough. Have a conversation with her and see if she can meet you in the middle. You shouldn't have to change your wedding plans to accommodate one person. And please don't feel bad about it! You are not in the wrong at all.

I agree she should wear whatever she is comfortable in, and it sounds like you also believe this, but she doesn't get to dictate what the other BMs wear. If she is the only one who wants to wear a suit or romper, then as long as the color scheme matches, go for it! But the other girls will wear dresses if they want. This is like girls picking different styles of the same color dress - it matches, but everyone gets to be comfortable. So no, she doesn't get to pick what everyone else in the party wears until it is her wedding.

Yea she absolutely doesn’t just dictate what the others wear. They can still wear dresses and she can be in her romper

I think the easiest solution would be to pick out the color you want your bridesmaids to wear, and then let each of them pick their own attire.

You should kick her out of the party or just let her do what she wants. She’s not going to change and won’t see that this is YOUR day, not hers.


Your older sister sounds like my youngest sister. We got into a fight yesterday cause I’m still trying to get a refund on the flights I paid for her to come to my wedding- she didn’t bother to show up after I paid for her flights and hotel room to come. She literally wrote back that she only said yes cause she was tired of me asking if she was going to come. I complained to my mom and she wrote that everyone should respect each other’s careers cause we think our own is better....?!?!?!?? THATS NOT THE POINT MOM.

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It sounds like all of this about about WAY more than just a dress/not a dress. Look, she's your sister and you and she likely have a long and complicated relationship. You know her, she knows you. Neither of you is going to change. So either you allow her the leeway to choose something she's going to be comfortable in or you choose this hill to die on and risk damaging your relationship forever. Only you can decide.

As far as you thinking she's trying to force you to make choices about what the other bridesmaids wear, I'm not sure how she could actually force you to do that. So I would just disregard her suggestions like you would any other unwanted opinions. Next time she sends a text you don't like at a time you feel is inappropriate, just don't respond.

Have you looked at any lines like Jasmine, who have some in pants, and although they make each gown in limited 10-30 colors, have a custom program to choose an outfit and make it in a material to match your other gowns. I knew people who did. And with a bride who wanted me, a slender but full busted woman, plus nursing 4 month old twins, to match 3 slim to overweight but all AA or A cup women, completely unstructured tops, I chose a MOB dress very similar, and they cut it of material to match. Since you personally don't care, you may choose from ones with this possibility. You control what style or structure, and she and all the others, must choose one of your sets.






https://www.jasminebridal.com/service.asp about 3 places on their website they mention that they will custom cut fabric.


As to mom. ask her to stay out of dresses other than hers. Tell her making one daughter very unhappy, to please the others, is not a nice mom move. And to realize you are the bride, and the choice is yours.If you want pants cuts, similar to particular dresses, post a few and people will likely help you out, so you come up with workable solutions, not your sis.

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Thank you everyone for your suggestions, I really appreciate it. I'll definitely be looking into different options for dress alternatives and checking out the links you sent. It's a high priority for me to find a good middle ground if possible between me and my sister because as I definitely want her to be there for my wedding.

There are a lot more jumper and pantsuit options that blend right in with dresses that could work, just have her match the color and material to the bridesmaid dresses. Everyone's body, expression and comfort level is different so should be accommodated easily and graciously.