Dress Shopping Etiquette

Following. I got a gift card for $100 if I go to a certain bridal shop and get the consultants signature. Just to show up, but I'm thinking they will be out of my price range.

A clerk in the store will be taking care of you in the hopes of earning a commission, but she won't. In the meantime, she will not be able to take care of a legitimate customer who will earn her a commission. Also, you'd be putting unnecessary wear and tear on the gowns (even if they are only samples). Personally, I would not do it -- maybe because my husband has a retail business.

I did. How are you supposed to know what you want before you even have an idea of what works? Don't write something off but I see no problem with doing a preliminary run. Just a quick edit. I was very forthcoming with my consultant when I showed up. I think being dishonest is wrong. I would be uncomfortable lying about that.

Absolutely not - many brides shop around for different reasons.

Full disclosure: I'm going dress-shopping in a Big Expensive City next month because it's the only weekend I can do it with my mom and sister. But even if we find The Dress, I'll be ordering it from a salon in Small Cheaper Hometown because: taxes, prices, etc. And I want to buy from the salon I'll be going back to for alterations, steaming etc.

Pretty rude, especially if you no intention of buying a dress. I would go to David's Bridal or someplace like that where you can more easily browse the selection without a consultant. Otherwise like Nancy said, the person helping you is most likely on commission and won't be getting one for sure if she helps you, vs spending her time with someone that might or will buy a dress there.

ETA: I made an appointment at a salon before I had my appointment at the salon where I actually bought the dress. My problem with what you are doing is that you said you won't be buying a dress there. Bar none, not gonna happen. People who work on commission typically make a smaller hourly rate and depend on their commission.

You should call and see if the salon in question pays their consultants commission. I went and tried on dresses where they do not get commission, I did not buy my dress from there as that day I called another salon and found it for $400 less.

There are plenty of people that shop around for a dress at different stores, there is no shame in that.

I think I would tell the bridal salon the truth. So far I have found that the consultants want for you to find the right dress. There is always the chance that a bride won't buy from them but they still take care of their customer. Maybe you won't get as much time to try dresses, but i don't see it being a problem. To simplify that appointment take pictures or style numbers of dresses you like.

Good luck.

With my first dressing shopping experience I went to a boutique that specialized in HP dresses. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to buy the one I wanted but I just wanted to make sure. The consultant tried to push me into buying the dress which is one of the reasons I walked away empty handed. I'm just saying you may buy a dress there, you might not, you never know.

I think as long as you're honest with the consultant it's ok. Not everyone finds their wedding dress the first time they go shopping so you aren't expected to make a purchase just because you're trying then on. But I agree with everyone else about asking if they work on commission when you call to make the appointment. And if you're concerned ask for a shorter appointment since you aren't planning on buying.

I may be in the minority but I'm surprised at these answers! I went to my first bridal appointment less than a month after I got engaged with no expectations, just to look and see what styles looked good on me. I ended up trying on a dress that eventually became the dress, but because it was so early I wasn't going to buy it right there on the spot. I ended up going to the designers showroom and buying the dress there, but I went into my first appointment pretty sure I wouldn't be buying anything and I didn't feel it was rude. Again, it looks like I'm in the minority here so it may just be me in this case but I didn't think it was rude, I thought of it as doing my research about what dresses look best on me.

I think you should just be honest with the salon - tell them that you're with your MOH, and this is a special trip because it's your only opportunity to shop together. I called local shops trying to find specific dresses I had seen on-line, so I ended up going to quite a few shops before I finally found my dress. I think a good shop will be courteous, and helpful, because even if you don't make a purchase, you may have the opportunity to recommend them to someone else. If you have a good experience, you will give a good review; if you have a poor experience, you might discourage people from shopping there.

I'm actually really surprised at all these answers too. I think if you tell the consultant that you're here with your MOH and you're trying to get an idea of the style you like, that's okay. Everybody has to start somewhere. If you drag it out and act like you're about to purchase and then don't, then yea that's kind of a dick move.

@MissEtoMrsB I live and am getting married in VA but have every intention of purchasing a dress in MA with my mother and MOHs.

If any store asks me to leave because I "might be playing dress up", they will lose my business and my recommendation to others.

OP- There is nothing wrong with shopping around and trying dresses on. You never know, maybe you will find The One and can order it later! Plenty of people do this and I dont find it rude; just be up front with the consultant about your intentions

While I think Nancy T has good points, I think it is also part of the business that some people will come in and not not buy-- either cause they don't see something they like or cause they never intended to. You can always write them a good review on Yelp (if they're nice)-- that'd be worth more, in a lot of ways, than a sale.

Don't worry about it at all. This is a very normal thing to do, and a good salon won't treat you any differently. Just tell the consultant that you're kicking off your dress shopping and would like to get a sense of what looks good on you. Sample dresses are meant to be tried on, it's not your job to worry about that.

On a personal note, I did the exact same thing at Kleinfelds in NY when my friend (the bride) traveled to the East Coast from California for work. The consultant even took photos for us to send to the bride's mom and was so sweet and non-pushy the whole time. I went back to buy my own dress there a year later and they were just as nice -- though definitely a bit more attentive since it was clear I was there to buy

Thanks! I'm definitely going to look for a shop where they don't work on commission. Also I have no intention of lying about what I am doing. I'll be there on weekdays so maybe I can get a mid workday appointment when it wouldn't be busy anyway.

I guess I could actually buy a dress in Vegas and just fly back when it comes in. Flights are never very expensive

I went to a bridal shop on a Wednesday afternoon. They were empty. I had the whole place to myself. No intention of buying but I got to try on and didn't feel bad taking time away from potential customers.

I have worked at 2 bridal salons. I had some commission the other nothing. We still sold the same. Tell them up front that you want to look with your moh and get ideas. Also make sure it's not a busy time for them. Most consultants love dress up. Another tip make sure the dresses you try on are in your price range even to get ideas. I thought I was just trying on. Found the dress but way out of my budget and I have been kicking myself since.

My first couple appointments at various stores I knew I was just looking. And I had a similar situation to yours when one of my BMs who lives 12 hours away was in town for just a couple days. When I went shopping with her and the first few times I went, I told the consultant up from "I'm not planning on purchasing today but I'm looking to get a good idea of what styles/shapes I want"

That way they aren't expecting you to buy, and hopefully won't try to pressure you into buying.

I say go and have the experience with your friend but be honest and courteous to your consult.

As long as you are honest about your intentions when you make the appointment and when you arrive, I don't see a problem with it. Have fun!