Drinks not included for rehearsal dinner?

That's a great idea to get a menu printed up just for your dinner, especially if you can work something out (2-3 options) with the restaurant ahead of time. If you're choosing among a few like chicken/fish/veg options it will be cheaper for the restaurant to buy those in bulk (depending on how big your party is). I dont know if that would work for you, but it's an idea.

Thanks for all the input. I am meeting with the restaurant this weekend. I am sure this is not the first time that they have dealt with something like this, so I will listen to their input. I did think about ordering maybe two growlers or so, and when they are gone... well then they are gone

I'm thinking back to all the RDs I've been to, and I don't think I've paid for drinks at any of them. Some have been less formal - cookouts, etc. But beer and wine were always covered.

I don't think it's the same as meeting up with a bunch of friends at a restaurant - it's a specific, hosted event. So the equivalent would be hosting a dinner party and expecting guests to pay you back for the wine.

I don't think you need to spell anything out beforehand. I like the other suggestions of putting what soft drinks are included on a menu. You can also have the bartender notify people upon ordering that it's a cash bar (if there will be a bar).

I printed up menus for each place setting that gave the meal choices and side dishes, and stated that unlimited coffee, tea and soft drinks were available.

Our server asked guests what they wanted to drink and said alcohol was available in the bar if they were interested. We had an open bar at our reception and I thought that was being generous enough. We had to cut costs/watch the budget in some way.

I've been to several RD's that dinner was covered and we paid for our own drinks. Usually we don't tell anyone anything is covered, then whoever paid the bill just let the server know ahead so she only passed out bills for beverages.

Also- I've never received an invite to RD. Usually I just talk to the person and they just tell me or text me or email me the info.

We went back and forth on this a lot. Finally we put $300 on a bar tab. When they was almost out, they came to see me and see if I wanted to cut it off or add another $100. We were close to done so I said to add another $100 and we were set. I was surprised how little it was actually.

I don't think we spent the full final $100, so about $350 for 25ish guests, full open bar seemed a decent deal to me and it made our guests happy.

If you can swing it, that would be one option (if you WANT to). You could also ask the servers to only offer a couple beers and a house red/white and no liquor, and pay the tab for that. It is a hosted event so drinks would be nice, but you could also just not do any alcohol at dinner, and if people want to hang at the bar afterward, they can run their own tabs.

I've never paid for drinks at an RD I attended either.

Alcohol has always been hosted at the RDs I've attended as well - although, if there wasn't alcohol, I wouldn't actually care as I don't drink that much (thus, I wouldn't buy any either). We had a late lunch for our rehearsal and we just did a consumption bar. We wanted everyone to get whatever they wanted, but we had many non-drinkers in the crowd as well, so an open bar didn't make sense.

Another option could be to just have a bottle of wine or two on the table rather than paying by the glass, if you choose to take on the expense at all.

I've never been to a RD where drinks weren't covered. I understand not wanting to run up a huge bill for your in-laws, but have you actually talked to them about what they are willing to spend? Our in-laws hosted our RD, so I was worried about the cost of the alcohol adding up. We had planned to ask the server to put the drinks on a separate bill, so we could pay for them ourselves, but Dan's parents were adamant about paying for everything, once Dan asked them about it. They were well aware of what they signed up for lol. Maybe just have FH talk to them about the costs, see what they are willing to spend? If there is any way for you and FH to pay for drinks, if his parents can't, I think that would be a nice gesture to your guests.