Drunk groom = bad start to marriage

Wow im sorry to hear that yall day was ruin. I get it he was excited and wanted to have a good time. He forgot to share that moment and have fun with you. Im sure this is not how he intended the night to end. You calling him out on his short coming could have helped contributed to his behavior further. You should know your mate and even if he said the vows back to you it should have been ok. After all you supposed to love him for him. Most men dont like writing vows. However this does not forgive his behavior cause it got out of hand. Just want you to see there is two parts. He likes to party and you dont seem to party like he do. That can be a issue cause you will continue to look at him like the bad guy. There has to be compromise. If you both can be yourself then marriage may not be the answer. Hope this help and good luck.

Going to golf/happy hour once a week wouldn't bother me at all. That is pretty normal behavior. Even partying once or twice per month seems normal enough to me actually. (I couldn't tolerate it, but I'm not a drinker. I have many friends who party every week with their spouses and are happy.)

Ruining your wedding night? NOT normal behavior.

Maybe you should wait to send that in? I know i would be furious if that happened to me

Hon, forget couple counseling. You have a baby to care for. Get counseling for YOURSELF and find a way to stand on your two feet and care for your baby. You deserve much better. It will only go downhill from here. You know this already, don't you? Be brave!

Sorry this sucks. I think drinking too much is a common problem. My brother told me the last wedding he went to the bride had to be carried out because she was so wasted and couldn't function. He said that it killed the party mood and everyone left after that.

Going out after would annoy me. I get that he has friends, but it is your wedding night! It is one of the nights you can expect that he would spend it at home with you.

It maybe isnt what you want to hear, but get out now before your lives get more complicated.

He and his friends party... it's a constant thing. Not good!!! My first marriage was ruined by alcohol... at least when we wed... we were both partners we didn't begin to go downhill til after I had my daughter and straightened up... unfortunately he did not. Good luck! It's a terrible situation.. do what you feel is right in your heart.

Do not file the license. File for annulment/divorce. NO way in hell would I let my husband do that to me. He is a complete Jackass and thinks he is 22 again. NO man should leave his bride on the wedding nite and go get drunk with the guys. Get out now while you can. Everyone I knew who grew up with alcoholic parents has long term efffects, dont let your daughter think this is normal way to be treated by a man. IT IS NOT!

So should I share this thread with him?

OP, no.

If the man can do that on your wedding day because you called him out to family, I can only imagine what his reaction would be if he knew you were calling him out to internet strangers.

You need to get away from him. This relationship is not healthy.

You stopped going to therapy and never went back again; and, by the sounds of it, your issues with each other never were resolved despite the period of peace.

If you think there's hope, I'd resume therapy, but honestly?

If I were in your shoes, this is a lost cause; you and your daughter should get out of there pronto.

Yikes, I am so sorry about that. I would go to counseling ASAP.

Sounds like this has always been typical behavior. Did you think getting married would magically change things? People don't just turn into unicorns because they have a ring on their finger.

Not normal behavior. I'm sorry. I'd have to leave. You can't start a life together off on this foot. No good.

Showing him this thread won't do you any good. It'll just piss him off and make him feel like you're trash talking him. He may even become scary or a worse drinker.

So here's the deal.

No, this is absolutely not normal or okay that he behaves like this. It's massively disrespectful to you, your child, your marriage. He has shown that he doesn't respect you at all. All he thinks about is himself. He isn't going to change. Ever.

I can say that with 100% certainty because I was with a very similar man. We were together for 9 years. We had a child together. He never grew up, changed, or respected me more. It just got worse.

He was a great dad when he wasn't out partying or being selfish, but he was a shitty boyfriend/husband and wasn't a good example for our child.

Make some phone calls tomorrow, find out if your marriage license can be returned without being filed or whatever you have to do to make this marriage not legal. Or file an annulment. Or file for divorce. LEAVE. Have some self respect. You deserve SO MUCH MORE than him!! And your baby does too!!

I finally left my loser after 9 years. NINE. I wasted NINE YEARS OF MY LIFE. Don't be like me. I thought it would get better, I told myself it was normal, I rationalized everything I could. I didn't want to break up our family. But you know what? I finally got the guts to do so. I saved up several thousand dollars, told him we needed to put the house on the market, and that I would be leaving in a few months with our child and that we needed to start packing and working out our separation. We went to a lawyer together, we filed a paternity acknowledgment and a visitation and child support agreement. And then I got my own apartment. And I stood on my own two feet. And I wasn't the mom to a man child anymore. Just a sweet little kid. And I was so damn proud that first christmas when I looked around at my little tree and decorations and it was all done by me. He's still a good dad, he spends a few days a week with his kid. Talks to him daily. Pays his child support on time. But i'm no longer dealing with his shit. And its a huge relief. He lives with him mom now and she takes care of the man child she created (haha!)

After we split up, I met a wonderful man who treats me like a princess and takes amazing care of my child and me. And we had a beautiful wedding full of love and he didn't get drunk, instead he helped me into a horse and carriage and whisked me away. Like a man should.

Run Amy, RUN.

Yes share this post . ETA. I believe he should be aware of his actions . You stated above you didnt think you get all these negative comments. Your intentions were to dismissed your feelings as over reacting. Even if you dont share he should know you seek additional feedback on the situation to be transparent

That is terrible. I can't imagine what I'd do if my fiancé did that to me on our wedding day. I would end it now before it gets worse. Obviously he doesn't respect your or the vows you took. However, not my relationship. Good luck!

And I agree with Lyla. Don't show him this thread, it'll only cause problems.

Instead, have a calm adult conversation with him.

"John, you and I both know you and I are unhappy. And that this isn't what we want from our lives. I've decided that we should separate. I plan on doing XYZ and getting my own place. We need to go to a lawyer and talk to them about how to set up a custody agreement for the baby. I know this is a lot to think about but I really feel its what is best."

Why did he go out without you on your wedding day? He should only be worrying about being with you and where you are. You don't deserve that at all. I wouldn't be able to stay with him

DO NOT SHOW HIM THIS THREAD.

That will do nothing but add fuel to the fire. Based on what you've said about him, he'll probably react very negatively and it'll dig you two even deeper into the hole that you're already in. If you're hellbent on making this work, you guys need intensive couples and individual counseling.