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Devoted December 2019

Dry wedding thoughts

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Hannah, on September 2, 2019 at 6:42 PM

So I am from a small town in the Bible Belt. Every wedding I’ve ever been to has been dry. I honestly didn’t realize alcohol was such a “wedding” thing until I start planning mine and saw discussions here.

For several reasons, we are leaning towards having a dry wedding. Some of them being that my dad is a recovering alcoholic, I don’t want sloppy drunk people causing a scene, it’s an extra expense, and my fiancé and I aren’t big drinkers.

So originally when we decided no alcohol it didn’t seem like a big deal at all. We don’t drink very often and it seemed like a total waste of our money. I have seen a ton of negative (and quite frankly rude) comments towards other brides on here about dry weddings. Things like “I wouldn’t waste my time going to a dry wedding” and “no one will have fun that’s so boring”... so they’ve gotten in my head a little.

Before you say it, I know it’s ultimately up to us and screw what everyone else says. But I would like to hear from some brides that had dry weddings in particular. Did any of you regret not serving alcohol? Was it just as fun without it? What were your reasons for going dry? What did you do to keep people entertained? I want everyone to have fun but is alcohol really necessary to do that?

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40 Comments

Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 3, 2019 at 10:47 AM
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Our venue doesn’t require us to go through them for alcohol (I don’t think) but we would have to hire a bartender for the evening to card people and such. We couldn’t just buy some beer and put it in nice tins. I probably need to do real research on it and see what the cost would be relatively.
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Super April 2021
Izzykern · on September 3, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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All guests are different though so if they share the same beliefs/customs about not drinking very much then I’m sure it would be no problem to have it dry. In our families, it is considered rude not to provide or have alcohol available so we will be doing a 4 hour open bar (my FH cares the most about food and drink)
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 3, 2019 at 10:55 AM
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That’s part of my issue as well! We have a lot of super religious family members. I also work for a school district and while some of my coworkers are totally relaxed and go with the flow type people, some of them (including my “big” boss) would probably be displeased and judgement. And I know that it’s our day and their opinions don’t really matter because I’m not at work, but it’s uncomfortable to me to mix my drunken 20 year old friends with my professional peers and pastor family members?? Because honestly I’m a mix of both of those crowds.

I wouldn’t mind if some of the sticks in the mud left after cake cutting but I don’t want EVERYONE to leave soon after we’ve spent all this money and months of preparation. So I’m kind of concerned about that as well....

so a modified open bar is basically free drinks for everyone but with limited options? That’s what I’ve been considering mostly. Like a beer and a wine and that’s it. No liquor because people would get way drunk way faster that way.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on September 3, 2019 at 12:59 PM
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It's really a crowd to crowd decision. Do a lot of the weddings in your group serve alcohol or do a lot of guests drink? In our crowd, everyone drinks & every wedding serves alcohol. I've been to one cash bar wedding & one dry wedding. The dry wedding had really no dancing, and 80% of the guests left after cake cutting. There was the traditional speeches, dances, cake cutting, etc. then people left. I personally don't do much dancing without alcohol but that's just me.
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Savvy September 2019
Liz · on September 3, 2019 at 1:48 PM
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Most of the dry weddings I've been to were mid-day weddings where they just had a cake and punch reception. My sister had a dry wedding because she was a couple months' pregnant at the time and said "If I can't drink, can't nobody drink" Her reception was also pretty much over after the cake cutting but I don't think that's really a bad thing. If it were me, my father being a recovering alcoholic would be enough reason to make it a dry wedding. No need to put him in a potentially difficult situation on what should be a joyous day. In the end, do what's best for you and don't worry about what some judgy internet people have to say about it.
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Devoted September 2019
Katelyn · on September 3, 2019 at 1:54 PM
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We are having a dry wedding. We dont think it is a necessary cost.
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 3, 2019 at 2:26 PM
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THANK YOU! Honestly, my dad and I haven’t had a very good relationship for years because of the drinking. But he’s been sober now a couple years and relapsed earlier this year. He’s back on track but I don’t want him to be tempted especially on such an emotionally draining day. And you’re right, I wouldn’t really be sad if a lot of people left after cake. Then hopefully it would just be close friends/family there to dance and mingle with us. Thanks so much!
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 3, 2019 at 2:27 PM
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Glad we aren’t the only ones! It just seems ridiculous to me to spend thousands on drinks.
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Lady · on September 3, 2019 at 3:52 PM
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I would never say anything rude about a dry wedding. Regardless of where you live or who you're inviting it is totally ok to not serve alcohol if you don't want to!!!! As long as your guests are hosted well - enough food for the time of day, a choice of beverages (alcohol, or not) that they do not have to pay for, and eliminating large gaps - you are totally fine. Don't let people make you feel bad about not offering alcohol, it is never a requirement.
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Dedicated August 2020
Sare · on September 3, 2019 at 5:52 PM
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No one in my family drinks due to religious reasons and same goes for my friends/family friends. Every wedding I’ve ever been to has been dry and the party has always gone on until Atleast 1am with everyone dancing. I think it depends on your guest list. If you’re inviting people who ONLY have fun when they drink then they’ll leave early, but if people are used to dry weddings and dancing without alcohol, it should be fine! don’t let the comments drag you down I guess some people are just more accustomed to drinking socially than others
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 4, 2019 at 3:54 PM
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Thank you! Honestly I’m embarrassed to say that most of my reservations about having a dry wedding comes from the peer pressure on this site. Everyone on here goes on and one and tears people apart about how boring they are and how they wouldn’t even go. We still are on the fence about it but this comment made me feel better about our decision to be dry!
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 4, 2019 at 3:56 PM
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Yes!! Thank you! I haven’t been to many weddings but the ones I have been to were dry and they didn’t seem boring to me. But I’m not one that needs alcohol. And I honestly don’t think most of my guest list would need it or necessarily expect it, but I just don’t want people to be bored. But thank you so much for being KIND! I’m feeling better about the possibility of a dry wedding now. 😊
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May 2021
Catherine · on September 4, 2019 at 4:53 PM
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People not only will ridicule you for dry weddings on this site, but also for not having an open bar (or a back yard wedding or a few other things).
Weddings are to celebrate you two joining together. Not as entertainment for them. I've been to dry weddings, cash bar weddings and open bar weddings. I had fun at all of them.
You do you and it will be great!
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 5, 2019 at 9:24 AM
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Thank you!!
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Savvy August 2019
Brandi · on September 8, 2019 at 5:15 PM
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I had a dry wedding! My husband's brother is a recovering alcoholic and from what I've been told, a bit of a violent drunk, and my husband did not want to have to deal with that. I don't drink often, and neither does my husband or my family and my close friends don't either, so it wasn't hard to nix the alcohol. We didn't tell my brother in law that his typical drunk behavior is the reason we went dry - I am known to drink infrequently so we explained it off as neither me nor my husband really thought it was necessary. (And tbh, it wouldn't have been worth it to get a bar for the 8 people that would drink). We dislike champagne so got sparkling cider instead.

We had a small wedding (34 people) and I think everyone still had a good time! We brought games to play and it was a nice time to just catch up and chat and have good food, haha. I have zero regrets about a dry wedding and neither should you! It's your day and if someone doesn't like that you don't have booze, tough luck for them.
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 8, 2019 at 6:01 PM
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Thank you! Ours is a larger wedding but only about half the guests ever drink so I’m almost positive we are going dry. What kind of games did you bring? I considered bringing corn hole but it’s an evening wedding in December so I don’t know if we’d be able to set it up inside the barn.
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Beginner December 2019
Laura · on September 8, 2019 at 6:40 PM
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I live in the Midwest, and about 50% of the weddings I've been to were dry weddings (religious and nonreligious). Did people at weddings with alcohol tend to stay longer and party? I guess yes, but I've also been to weddings with no alcohol and had a great time. It's all about who's there--I definitely agree it's a know your audience thing. But I also have never been of the opinion that alcohol is necessary to have a good time. My FH and I decided to have a dry wedding, as a large majority of our friends and family either don't drink, or only drink on occasion, and no one has really given us any grief about it. I know a few people will sneak it in, and that's fine with me as long as nothing gets out of hand. If we could afford it, I might consider have beer and wine, but I'd rather spend the money elsewhere tbh.
In the end, it's your wedding. Do what you want. It's super hard when everyone seems to have an opinion, and people tell you that no one will stay, but I know that with my circle of close friends and family, they care more about supporting me and my FH than getting tipsy on the dance floor. We're planning on having a great music playlist and just jamming it out and celebrating with our friends.
(And we're having a Sunday wedding, so people are less likely to want to be out super late anyways! Who wants a Monday hangover??)
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Devoted December 2019
Hannah · on September 8, 2019 at 6:45 PM
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That’s true! Honestly there are thousands of other opportunities to get wasted with the right people but idk that I want my wedding to be one of those. And honestly, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m okay if people want to leave earlier. After al the traditional wedding things are done (dinner, cake, bouquet toss) I’m estimating about an hour of dancing time. If some want to skip out then, fine. I’m thinking we really don’t want it to run super late anyways cause we are an hour and 15 minutes from the hotel and we have an early flight the next day lol. Plus, I know some will sneak it in and I’m 100% okay with that. As long as they keep it in cups and aren’t super wasted. We are going to say dry unless we end up with some extra in our budget and can swing some beer and wine.
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Savvy August 2019
Brandi · on September 8, 2019 at 7:27 PM
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Lol, well, my husband and I are nerds and have nerd friends so we brought a bunch of party games and cards for people to play at their tables if they want. Apples to apples, bananagrams, playing cards, cards against humanity, and various other games to play! I will say, only 4 of our guests left early (half an hour early, which isn't really that early, imo) And they were people who had a long drive home. I had to put in effort to kick everyone else out, lol, so I think people were having fun! These were our close family and closest friends, so it was wicked low key, which I think helped a lot!
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Devoted May 2019
Rita-Jean · on September 10, 2019 at 10:57 PM
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We had a dry wedding! Neither hubby or I drink, and we really just didn't want to spend the money on it. Like PPs said, it really is a know your crowd kinda thing, though that being said, I know a few of our guests would've liked booze, but weren't upset that there wasn't any. I had one guest tell me the only reason she wasn't on the dance floor was because she was sober, but no one left early because of lack of alcohol. In fact, the only ones who left pretty early were the ones that had a 2.5 hour drive, and the one that had surgery a few days before and wanted to go to bed (and we saw him the next day so it was all good). Most stayed the majority of the night, and a good majority were on the dance floor the whole time. We also had an awesome DJ who kept the music upbeat and encouraged guests to dance. There are a surprising number of rude, judgmental commenters on here ("I wouldn't go if there's no booze"???? What??? What happened to supporting your loved ones pledging their love to one another?), but you need to not let them get you down. If you want a dry wedding, go for it! And if you want to serve alcohol, have at it! People should be able to have fun either way.
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