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Just Said Yes February 2020

Educator with Honeymoon Questions

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Magaly, on January 14, 2018 at 6:16 AM

I work in a public school, and my fiancé and I plan to get married in January of 2020. We had our first date I. january, so he loves how personal that date is for us. Since school will still be in session, I shared with him having our honeymoon at a later date (i.e., February break or when school is not in session). This puzzled him. He does not understand, nor does he want to, why we can’t just go on our honeymoon right after our wedding. He said waiting is ridiculous. I tried explaining to him how some educators do this. He does not take into account that I only have a certain number of sick/personal days of which I’d like to save up for when we begin a family.

Its become a touchy topic now. I know we have plenty of time, but I don’t want to have the same conversation time and time again. What should I do?

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27 Comments

Savvy August 2018
Kate · on January 14, 2018 at 1:30 PM
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Teacher here! It was really important for my fiancée to go on our honeymoon right away, but he also knows that I absolutely cannot take off during the year (I only get 2 personal days), and vacations are tricky because they take away snow days from our April break. That really only left us 2 weeks in June and 4 weeks in August to choose from, since I teach extended school year. We managed to make it work but we definitely had to work around my schedule!
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Devoted July 2018
AlyssaWynne · on January 14, 2018 at 6:01 PM
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Why does he have such an issue with this? Teaching is one of the few professions where it requires more work to be absent then it does to go in. Like you mentioned you have limited personal time. And as previous posters have mentioned, it would be obvious to your coworkers/administration that you were using sick time in a way it was not meant to be used.

i think you either need to stand your ground about waiting for the honeymoon, or move your wedding date.

I am also a teacher, and so we are getting married in the summer to work around my schedule. That being said, summer is FH’s busy season (he works in the construction field), and so to respect his schedule we are waiting until my February break to take our honeymoon.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on January 15, 2018 at 1:17 AM
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How does he not get this? Is he used to getting his way all the time? Even your post said that you're choosing your wedding date for January because he loves that date. I hope you do too. I personally would choose another date during break so you're not trying to teach and plan last minute things for your wedding and so you can go on your honeymoon immediately. Also, in some school districts, if you don't have tenure, you risk not having your teaching contract renewed for not planning your vacation time during breaks.
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VIP July 2018
AQuixoticBride · on January 15, 2018 at 2:52 AM
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I'm getting married in July even though I don't want a summer wedding at all because I am an educator. I teach at a university, but same difference - we have no vacation/sick/personal time and no subs. There is no way I could pull off my wedding during the term. It is very much so looked down upon to take time off (unless you a medical issue or a baby) during the semester. Last semester, my colleague got married on a Saturday and was back in class on Monday. If you plan on being a teacher for the long term, he will have to understand your schedule and that you have to work plans around it. Those summers off, if you get them, are a trade-off.
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April 2018
GoodMOB · on January 15, 2018 at 6:45 AM
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My future son-in-law is a teacher, and they are marrying at the end of April. He will just take off a Friday and Monday around the Saturday wedding. Then in the summer, they plan to take a longer honeymoon, when he has lots of time off. This is very common for educators.
Perhaps you (OP) would consider getting married in December, at the beginning of your Christmas break, so you could take your honeymoon right away, if that is your fiance's preference.
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Magaly · on January 15, 2018 at 9:07 AM
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Thank you all for your suggestions. It means a lot and I will speak with him, multiple times, on why it can’t be his way unless we hange the date. 😁
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Devoted May 2018
Mrs. P · on January 28, 2018 at 2:12 PM
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I’m a teacher and decided to get married the day after school let’s out for summer. We plan to do Anniversary trips so we thought that would be best, but I’d definitely stand your ground on this one.
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