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Lyn
Beginner July 2019

Elopers! Did you regret it?

Lyn, on July 6, 2018 at 5:22 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 23
Hi y'all,

From the beginning my fiance and I have never wanted a big wedding and we have been so honest with family. We just don't like the idea of spending so much on one day, we just like the idea of using the money elsewhere/savings. I feel us slowly losing our battle though. We get negative comments such as "seems lonely" "you'll regret it for the rest of your life" & "it will be a hard pill for the family to swallow". Now, I never expected for everyone to agree with the decision but I guess I expected a little more understanding. We are both people pleasers, so now we are scrambling and CONSTANTLY changing our minds on what to do in fear of offending family! So, my question is, if you eloped? Did you regret it?

23 Comments

Latest activity by Pirate & 60s Bride, on August 5, 2018 at 12:27 AM
  • Lyn
    Beginner July 2019
    Lyn ·
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    Whoops meant for the title to say "Elopers" not eloped! Darn autocorrect but you get my point!
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  • Slightly Off-Center
    Dedicated September 2019
    Slightly Off-Center ·
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    If that is what you WANT, you will not regret it!

    My sister regretted her elopement because it was done out of spite, even though she WANTED to have a tiny, intimate wedding with immediate family and a few friends.

    But so many more people are beyond jazzed about their elopements and are so happy and comfortable with their choices. Which, it sounds like you guys would be more in that category than where my sister was!

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  • C
    Devoted November 2023
    Crystal ·
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    Families need to stop making it about them. The "oh I'd be so upset if my kid eloped and didn't let me know."

    its not about you.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    Do what you feel is best! We eloped on 2/16 to get him on my insurance but are still having the "bigger ceremony" on 10/27 for friends and family so while we did elope I can't say if I regret it since we are doing both lol. You could always elope and have a reception later on that is more relaxed and cheaper than doing the whole big wedding. Renting out a hall and just saying it's a party will save you money since it's common for vendors to charge more when they hear the word wedding.

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  • Chris
    Master February 2022
    Chris ·
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    I've got your back, Lyn Smiley winking "Elopers" it is!

    If you and your fiance are confident in your elopement idea, that's really all that matters. It's 2018 and there are a million alternatives to a traditional wedding. Elope and have a big party at a later time! Elope and forget about the party! Elope and decide later! It's up to you! I think it says a lot about your character that you don't want to disappoint family members, but this event is not about fulfilling their wishes! Smiley heart

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  • OG Gretchen
    Super June 2018
    OG Gretchen ·
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    No regrets. We are adults who made an adult decision to do our wedding the way we wanted. In 20 years, will you think “dang, I wish I spent $20,000 on that wedding I didn’t want?”
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  • Adrianna
    Expert June 2018
    Adrianna ·
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    Don't be pushed around. If someone wants to try to change your mind about YOUR wedding, they are being selfish. It is you and your spouse's decision.
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  • M
    Super October 2018
    Michelle ·
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    I wanted to elope but changed my mind for family. I really wish we had just eloped but it's too late now. If you are not the type to like big parties (like my FH and I), I don't think you will regret eloping.
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  • M
    Devoted September 2020
    Mona ·
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    Really confused about eloping if you're going to have a ceremony later?? If you decide to elope...elope... period. I will say that my family is the type that if we eloped... don't even bother with a party later... they're not coming and a gift😳 is not happening. I have family like you that are extremely excited for us... but I also want those pictures that will last a lifetime.... The wedding could cost wayyyy less than $20,000 ... budget... keep it small if you do it... stick to whatever decision you make... you won't know until it's over. Most ppl will save face and say they have no regrets. I regret marrying my 1st husband... but... it took me 20 years to admit that. Best of Luck💖

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  • M
    Super October 2018
    Michelle ·
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    Not everyone cares about gifts.
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  • M
    Devoted September 2020
    Mona ·
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    I was clear when I described MY family. I also never indicated that about anyone... to include myself.
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  • Lyn
    Beginner July 2019
    Lyn ·
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    Thank you all for your input! FH and I are going to have some more discussions about it! Maybe you'll be seeing some nice wedding pictures in our near future😉
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  • MrsSnez
    Super October 2018
    MrsSnez ·
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    I wanted to elope, he wanted like 400 people, so we're compromising with an immediate family only DW. We got an elopement package which means minimal planning and it's been sooo easy and not stressful at all! We do occasionally get comments ("oh I guess we didn't make the cut for your wedding") but honestly I can't imagine doing it any other way.

    52 more days and I can tell you all how it actually turns out after the fact.
    • Reply
  • W
    Devoted August 2018
    WAR's.WIFEY ·
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    I'm like you. Don't want big wedding. We are having a JP foing to a small lake with a boat dock and getting married there. I'm having my parents and maybe his parents an our children. Then we are going to go out for dinner. We r doing very simply boys r wearing dark Jean's, white dress up shirt with tie I got a beach dress for 30 and my daughter is wearing a romper n my mom a dress. All very simple. We arent having flower girl or ring bearer, no groomsmen or bridesmaids. We are spending a total of maybe 350$
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Dedicated November 2020
    Katie ·
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    I’m team elopement, as that’s what i’m currently planning. my FH suddenly decided that he wants his dad there, but i told him if we invite his dad, then we need to invite both sets of parents, and then that wouldn’t be an elopement. he said we could make it a DW, but we’re doing new zealand and flight tickets are easily $2000 a person, which his parents can afford but mine definitely can’t. there will be a lot of back and forth, not just with you and family but probably between you and FH. at the end of the day, the happiness of YOU TWO as a couple matters waaaaay mooooore than anything or anyone else.

    also, i love the idea of having a party after. if people get mad and don’t show, that’s on them for being petty. i keep reminding FH that our parents already got married, they already did their time, this is our time
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  • Bliss
    Dedicated June 2018
    Bliss ·
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    We eloped and couldn't be happier with our decision. To avoid all of that back and forth we decided to only tell the few family and friends that we were inviting (12 people). After the wedding, our photographers sent us a fun picture to send out as announcements to everyone who wasn't invited. It couldn't have been a more perfect day. We didn't break the bank by any means ($7k )and we did exactly what we wanted. If it's what you want, go for it!

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  • F
    Savvy July 2018
    FutureMrs ·
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    I decided on a small wedding to include my family and a few close friends. Most of the people i wanted to have a wedding for didnt even show up, one bridesmaid told me the night before she couldnt make it. I had a wonderful time at my wedding but it was alot. if i could go back id spend the money on an awesome DW and only invite immediate family. No matter how you do it you end up married, and the marriage is the important part. Instead of stressing over timelines and vendors ext' we could have had a nice vacation and just came back husband and wife. We spent alot of time trying to "make the rounds" and i would have rather sat my happy butt on a beach with a drink and just enjoy my new husband.
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Kaylea ·
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    No I don't at all so less stressful and you save so much money...and my husband changed his mine so we are having a small vow renewal in 2 years so we can still get that wedding feel. I honestly would rather have a great honeymoon or vacation than a wedding you spend thousands on.
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    I really wanted a destination wedding but I have 5 nieces and nephews under 3yo and 90yo grandparents and for either of them not to attend would have been unthinkable for me.
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  • Shonda
    Expert February 2019
    Shonda ·
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    Your pictures are beatuiful!
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